TIPS TO STOP AND OVERCOME HYPER-VIGILANCE

**ONLINE COURSES FOR HEALING AND DEALING WITH BORDERLINE/NARCISSISTIC PARENTS AND HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD BY RE-PARENTING YOURSELF (LINK BELOW)

**FREE CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS?

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This video is part of a week long focus on the impact of "Chronic, Low Key Hyper-vigilance" upon our lives and relationships, and breaks down what it takes to work on overcoming the impact of chronic hyper -vigilance.

We explore PTSD types and Anxious types (historical trauma vs anxiety related hyper-vigilance) and begin to examine how a more chronic, low key type of hyper-vigilance can impact how we see ourselves, how we assess others and how we engage in our lives and relationships.

If you had caregivers who were chronically unstable, unpredictable, and especially what I call "egg shell type parents," you may find that at the core, you struggle with a version of chronic hyper-vigilance that is about you, your worthiness, your lack of safety, high sensitivity, etc - and that is the type of childhood which can really contribute to this type of functioning.

Many of the questions/symptoms in this video can also be related to other dynamics (ie Generalized Anxiety, ASD, BPD, Introversion, High Sensitivity, etc) and hyper-vigilance can occur in many other issues, but the combination of these symptoms/questions, alongside highly unpredictable caregivers in childhood -- tends to create a state of being that is what I am referring to as "low key, chronic hypervigilance" in this video.

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(***This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Guided journal to help direct healing from childhood coming soon!

xo

*** Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)

[justanotherredheadattheend]

I'd love to not feel vaguely threatened just by hearing talking in the hall, or that I'm losing my mind and forgot about doing something, before considering that it might have been the other person's mistake.

[mrstonerudude]

I know I'm hyper vigilant. I thought it was good thing. It has helped me at my job but socially, not so much. Realizing triggers and back-tracking them to a childhood situation, is a game changer.

[wendywaddellhardy]

I am beginning to understand that what I thought was introversion, may in fact be hyper-vigilance. Actually I know it is. Always watched my mom's facial expressions to figure out what mood she was in. I was scared of her. Happy to have found you, Dr. Kim!

[AbS-]

My father was diagnosed as a narcissistic psychopath, and I have been looking into this because I’ve been having a lot of problems with being paranoid about what others think of me, constantly apologizing to people about situations, always thinking and overreacting about the fact of people potentially talking about me whenever they’re laughing, and always fearing the worst. I always thought that was somewhat normal tbh

[mollysimmons]

This might sound strange… I’ve found being hyper-vigilant has proven beneficial for me.
I’m a professional driver & the awareness in being hyper-vigilant helps me see everything around me as I’m driving local or interstate. I’ve avoided many, many accidents because of it.

[rachelreid]

I have a parent who constantly used gestural intimidation every time I said or did something they did not approve of -- even now at age 30, I get the occasional "stop that" wave of the hand, even though I said nothing wrong. I am convinced my hyper-vigilance and neuroticism is linked to my constant efforts to appease this parent. They also gaslit me every time I expressed how I was feeling. "You shouldn't feel that way, " or a scoff. It has caused a lack of confidence and its spilling over my relationships. The feeling I can't trust those close to me because I'm not good enough for them. I'm trying very hard to find ways to stop the inner turmoil, because I really don't want it to rule my life or spill onto others.

[loriachaddon]

I actually don't startle easily. I am really hard to surprise because I am so hyperaware of my environment. Even if I am surprised, it does not start a flight response. Outwardly I tend to seem super, dead calm. Internally I am in a state of situational analysis and preparation to fight.

[LOVE_ALL_AROUND]

Dr Sage...as Wendy Williams said "you are a friend in my head." Thank you again for your amazing content.

[nmygctl]

Thank you for this video. I was thinking I was just severely fucked up without any guidance on how to heal.

[lilcherryblossom]

THANK YOU!!
I told my mother years ago that pills are not going to fix anything and that I wanted to get to the root of my issues. She raged and said I was stupid for not wanting them.
She didn’t understand that healing is possible without them or that they can be used in conjunction with self work… she just saw them as the quick fix, cover up solution to get you to act “normal”.

[PeaceFan]

This describes Me to a T!! I am an adult and I STILL respond from my Inner Child wounds and PTSD because of How I was treated by my Parents!!

[TD-buwv]

The sigh...my husband all of the time you just made me realize I get triggered by it and it always happened before particularly bad beatings. Thank you so much💜 this is going to help us so much. Thank you

[Flower-power]

Constantly feeling on edge makes me exhausted mentally and physically. I was in a bad car accident at 17 and also was a very sensitive child and when my dad would yell I hid. I have a strong startle response for sure. Thanks for this video ❤

[aC-zjrh]

Such a great video! I resonate with this. It's like you were talking about my life. Thank you for the help I need to understand myself. I have an appointment for therapy in two days. I was worried about what to discuss with her, but it's clear now.

[dartcree]

No longer exhausting. It's been normalized.
Triggers:
* rejection
* changes in location.
* Not, . Good. Enough.
* Waiting for the next rejection.
* Sound of voice can be a real one. Took me 4 months to come down from one.
* parents ignroed me.
* Or slammed me into doors hard enough to see stars.
* mockery and dissmissive.

I can catch most triggers now, but I don't know most of them.
* Spend most of my life in intellectual disociation. Living in my head, never in my heart.
* Numbed emotions.

Caregive:
* bottle fed.
* picked up to get changed, bathed, fed.

[blueskygal]

Tools really matter. I didn't change til I got some.

[jasminedahir]

I became hyper vigilant after being bullied in school

[kenlandgren]

Thank you for this informative video. I am a retired US Army Officer and had severe PTSD when I retired. I healed myself 160 degrees and now use the healing methodology on others. Essentially, I help them become happier. Then I give them coping skills for the symptoms. The last part is dealing with the trauma. I noticed many people who are less depressed and encumbered by the symptoms have an easier go at dealing with the trauma(s).

[dawnzimmermann]

Thank you so much. I stopped sleeping again on Monday night and it carried on till last night. I wracked my brain this morning, I watched so many videos to find some answer and this was the one that answered me. I found a huge trigger Iv basically repressed my whole life… duh!!! Its a slow process but thank you. Hopefully I sleep tonight.

[timporter]

Hiya Dr Kim, just wanted to say thank you so much for your wonderful posts. I can tell how skilled/gifted you are by the way you communicate this information.

I came across you by chance, but it was so serendipitous; because I discovered Attachment Theory for the very first time; and in discovering it, it has changed my understanding of everything!

I can't believe how much difference this knowledge has made to me, my life, my understanding of myself and others.

I wish I'd have discovered this decade ago. How very different life MAY have been! But at least I have found it (and your inspirational posts). I might never have discovered it!

With genuine gratitude..thanks Kim!

Tim 😊