How to Easily Overcome Social Anxiety - Prof. Jordan Peterson

For many this should be one of the most insightful points in Dr. Peterson’s lectures. In less than five minutes he puts the key to overcoming social anxiety in plain words.

This clip is an excerpt of Jordan Peterson’s psychology lecture “2017 Maps of Meaning 8: Neuropsychology of Symbolic Representation” at the University of Toronto. You can watch it in its entirety here:

You may also be interested to know that Jordan B. Peterson's book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” is finally available. You can find it here:

Don't miss out on his best selling first book “Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief” which much of his lecture material is based on:

The above are Amazon affiliate links.

[PsycheMatters]

The above are Amazon affiliate links.

[oolalamamasita]

I love how he didn't break eye contact with that one student as he was talking about anxiety. He just gave him anxiety immediately

[killerqueen]

I'm just gonna repeat something I heard a woman say once, "You're not the protagonist in anyone else's story, you're just a secondary character." And it's true, someone might joke about something you said or did for a minute and move on, you're not the center of their universe. Also that Eleanor Roosevelt quote comes to mind, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others thinkof you if you realize how seldom they do."

[saltNpepper]

I realized that my social anxiety has made me quite selfish in a sense that i always keep looking at myself, always think about myself, and always try to protect myself that I never have any idea of how others feel, which is why I miss out on a lot of social opportunities because I shut myself out. I always think that I'm this main character or I'm so important in my head that everyone will literally be judging me with every move, that I have become egocentric and strict with the unrealistically ideal kind of person I hold up for myself to follow.

[gpayet]

I struggled with social anxiety until I was 18 years old. I never went to any party or reunion, never even had a conversation with a girl (I went to a boys only high school). I also missed very important memories such as the prom, very depressed. I was terrified of social situations because of my low self esteem and abusive childhood. What helped me the most was, as JP says, facing the monster upfront. I just went to that first party even though I was very ashamed to do it for the first time at 18. I recommend everyone to expose yourself to your fear in incremental quantities. Start small. And keep exposing yourself progressively to bigger social situations. You’ll get there. Today I’m almost 24 years old and happy to say I have a very successful social life :)

[GunesOAcar]

His words are so important that he carries 2 microphones on his shirt

[nitinrai]

I’m still on the bit where you try and get invited to the party

[Mcdogmom]

I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until my son recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.

[Nithion]

Face your fears head on. I’m a 30 year old 6’4” man still battling social anxiety. He’s right with looking directly at the monster. Looking right at the monster, let alone, approaching the monster is so hard, but it helps so much. Keep making yourself uncomfortable (a good amount before a panic attack), and embrace the suffering needed to prevail. By this time next year, I will have conquered my social anxiety.

Edit: If any of you are in therapy, ask about CBT. It’s very effective

[tradtrad]

Imagine being the person that's being stared at in these lectures

[Daniwasinvented]

“Let’s say you’re socially anxious“

Me: Yeah, “let’s say”...

[cazsnap]

Would have been nice to know how to deal with social anxiety before it took away my childhood/teenhood and left me with a life of traumatic memories and mental illnesses.

[Zonix]

"Look at people" it's crazy how simple that sounds and yet it hit so different

[ild]

1. Talk to individuals, not the group

2. Pay attention to others

These two things are the holy grail of social anxiety.

Believe me, they have brought me forward a lot.

[babylonhasfallen]

I overcome my social anxiety by pretending I don’t have it. I can outwardly function in social situations but inside I’m a mess and my main thought is to find the nearest exit and get the hell out of there but I keep that feeling locked down deep inside. This is something I’ve had to force myself to learn because my career requires me to be social but at the end of the day I enjoy going home and hanging out with my 2 German Shepherds.

[TideV]

Overcoming is usually extremely simple. Not easy at all but simple. You need to change your mindset, be willing to embrace discomfort, be willing to be judged and let go of what your ego is telling you to hide and avoid. Uncomfortable emotions are not something to avoid, rather something to move towards; only then can you see what it is you fear for what it is rather than what your head has made it out to be. Eventually you will have confronted your fears enough times that your mind will be reconditioned to believe that it can do hard things and will be ok, and that it doesnt matter what other people think of you. You have the ability to be free and live a joyful, unconstrained life but only if youre willing to stand up for yourself and take action toward not doing what feels good or makes you feel comfort, rather what allows you to feel healthy levels of discomfort that you can move through and grow from. Once you start to see results the momentum will start to build and youll be knocking down obstacles that you never thought possible. If you believe its possible then it can be done, but only you can do it.

[tentimesten]

Here are my takeaways from the video:

-Watch other people, the eye, pay attention
-Be confident, don’t hunch over
-In a group, it can be daunting with so many people around, so just focus on one person and talk as if you’re just talking to them.
-The person who delivers the message you didn’t want to hear—may be painful but it will help you

This was actually a really terrific and insightful video—thanks prof. Peterson!

[gabesoto]

Having self awareness is key. Everyone gets anxious in social situations at some point, it’s normal. But it’s all in your head. You’re not as important as you think, that’s the reality. You might have all these thoughts in your head but in reality, probably no one is even focusing on you. The really popular thing to say on social media right now is the whole “I’m the main character” thing, but you’re not. You’re a secondary character to everyone else’s life. And I don’t say that to belittle you or to invalidate your feelings. But there’s 7 billion people on the planet and every single one of them has their own shit going on, so 99% of the time, they aren’t worried about you. When I started to realize that, I stopped being so anxious around other people. Just be yourself and stop living in your head.

[dtwddox]

Jordan was right here. you cannot stop thinking about anxiety the only way to overcone social anxiety is forcing your body to act despite fear. just stand up straight look up not down, try making eye contact with ppl and you will be astonished by the results it takes time and dedication but it works trust me guys

[Coocoocachoo]

As a music major who felt socially awkward during repeated opportunities for performance, the discovery that you could "play to one member of the crowd" was immensely helpful.