Signs of an Abusive Relationship - 8 Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Partner - Domestic Violence

Many of you are probably thinking… It Wont Happen to me…. I’d never allow anyone to control me or engage in abusive behavior. Of course…. No one would knowingly dive into an abusive relationship. The problem is that they don’t start out as abusive. In the beginning, Abusers are charismatic, attentive, committed, they are real life Prince Charmings. These relationships often begin as incredibly intense and passionate love affairs.

An abuser will work to make you feel so appreciated and loved, you won’t even notice he is controlling you as you relinquish your life an inch at a time while becoming more and more entrenched in the relationship.— Abusers hold themselves back until they gain their partner’s trust and love. And it works..

So warning signs do exist, but they aren’t easy to recognize or accept. Here are eight of the most common.

1. Moving Very Fast.
2. Unrealistic Expectations and “Should”
3. Excessive Gifts and Love Bombing
4. Hypersensitivity and Jealousy
5. Criticism and Superiority
6. Blamers
7. Imposed Isolation
8. Mean or Abusive Towards Others

Observing any of these signs once doesn’t mean you should run for the hills. But if you’re seeing multiple warning signs or a progressive pattern develop, you should be concerned. Be wise, trust your instincts, and protect yourself. If something doesn’t sound or feel right, do what’s best for you and keep yourself safe.

Link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello, a psychologist and dating and relationship expert and author of Dating 3.0: Finding Love in the Age of Social Media and the Smart Phone.

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[beanandwiley]

When a person reveals themselves to you, believe them!

[laynan]

A psych professor once told me
‘If you have to ask if your partner is being abusive, then you already know your answer.’

[carolloraine]

Single and loving it!!
No drama and abuse.
I'm so relaxed and Happy!

[kistole]

If you feel weird about him leave him. Period! You know that feeling when it comes to you.

[sigmasiren]

I literally dodged 3 relationships with guys like this, thankfully. All you have to do is frustrate a guy & not let him have his way to see if he’s short tempered or not. What I’ve learned is that abusive men don’t like it when women take things slow, so I take things slow with all men to weed them out & just to get to know the person & spot red flags in general.

[michelek]

Always trust your gut feelings about the person your dating

[michaelmendoza]

9th warning sign; if you're YouTubing this video, you may be in an abusive relationship.

[westindiesgalfruits]

Not all abuser gives load's of attention or showers you with gifts, sometimes it's totally opposite.

[asiazarri]

The worst part is not the relationship the worst part is trying to leave so be careful

[stephgrahn]

On December 23, it had been two years since I left my abusive boyfriend. Best Christmas gift I could ever receive, given by ME. Those 18 months with him were hell.

[corinadanaeca]

Abusers are sometimes very, very subtle. They may not display warning signs at first. But, I do know that the signs mentioned in this video are real, and the abusive man will usually show some behaviors that fall into these categories, but, again, they may be very subtle. It's so important to listen to what your instincts are telling you. For example, if you get a small feeling like, "I feel like he's treating me like a child", but then you write it off in your thoughts as "Well I guess he just cares, he knows me well enough to know that I need to do this or that", or whatever else you may tell yourself to override your gut instinct, you should probably stop doing that. Pay attention to the instincts you have, even if it seems small in the moment. Many women who survived abusive relationships will say that they had "a feeling" that something wasn't right, but they just wrote it off as something else. These warning signs he's talking about are applicable to avoiding the narcissist, too. Anyway, thats just my two cents.

[amandayarsiah]

Yes, that's very right. Abusers always blame others and never apologize even if they are very wrong they still claimed right

[realalldway-raw]

I started talking to this guy via dating site for 3 days. In 2 he already said hen loves me. I told him he is going waaaay too fast. But he said why put a time frame on an attraction? So i dismissed that behavior but that was Red Flag #1.

Then we started talking on the phone he mentioned to grow my Hair. Red Flag #2.

We kept talking he said to me "i noticed you are a bit of controlling". Red Flag #3.

Yesterday i was very busy so i text him early & listed all the things i had to do mainly chores at home.
When i text him in the evening when i was done his response was cold. I asked why so cold.

He started telling me i was too busy to text him. I was like i told you i have list of things to do. Only on the weekend i can do my chores".

He didn't care & went on ahead and accuse me of talking ti other Men. Red Flag #4.

I told him to back off. Called him out & told him i am not going to tolerate his abusive behavior & said goodbye. Blocked his number & moved on.

[jessicaquinn]

I just left a relationship after 5 years.I should of seen it on are first date when I guy looked at me and he yelled at me to lets go.He made me cry in the car.I just thought it was a one time thing.But I moved in with him and he started telling me what to and not to do.Then who to talk to and not to.He first brought my sprits down then the hitting started.I'm Glad I left.

[roseeze]

That's why I am always suspicious regardless of how nice people r.

[TheCupcakeicecream]

This really spoke to me. My now ex was obsessed with gender roles and had very demanding expectations for me and tending to his home amongst other signs mentioned in this video. Please to anyone reading this don’t be afraid to walk away. It may hurt leaving but staying is beyond hurt it’s suffering🙏🏽

[lwashington]

Great video! Should be shown to teenage girls so they are aware before actively dating.

[ilovemygirls]

My husband went off on me breaking things screaming in my face thought I was going to get hit . He said it was my fault .

[tinabentley]

I wish I would have known these signs before...Even after I suspected it, I convinced myself that I was alright. I hope this video reaches others before they stay and things get worse. I became so isolated that I always went back, and I was looking for some positive affirmation. Thank you for sharing.

[lorianglon]

Abusers will NEVER change. They can learn control tactics but thats only after they admit to it, own it, and agree to the treatment. Abuse is a learned behavior and ANYONE that thinks they will change is kidding themselves. I am a survivor. I have worked almost 20 years for a DV agency and have done a small amount of batterers intervention work and studies. It sucks that the realization of this is that you may NEVER have a real non violent partnership with the one you love but the fact is that he or she could kill you physically, mentally and/or emotionally. You may never be the same. It was really upsetting to me when I found this out because I now have to relay this to my clients when they ask if I think their partner will ever change. I have to be I was asked one time if I knew the theory of crossing the street. It was said that you are taught very little to look both ways before crossing and you do so because you know if you don't you would be possibly hit by a car. If you are told to stop doing that you may try but you learned to because of consequences if you don't. so you go back to what you know. But if you go to a country where there are only dirt roads to cross and no cars, you eventually would stop looking both ways after some time. But then go back to the country where you knew there are highways and cars, you almost immediately go back to looking both ways. The concept is the same. You are not born to look both ways when crossing the street. It's taught to you by someone else hence the "learned behavior". Hopefully that explains it better.