Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships | Unsafe Relationships | Abusive Communication

In today’s episode, Rachel & Stacey explore signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. If you are in an unsafe relationship, you deserve to get support and help. 

Resources:
DV (Domestic Violence) Hotline: [phone]

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Before the Next Step

If you've found this video, you're likely seeking insights on:
1. What is emotional abuse
2. Signs of an emotionally abusive relationship
3. How to stop emotional abuse
4. Getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship
5. How to spot emotional abuse

WHAT TO WATCH NEXT
Compromise in Relationships | Coercion vs Compromise | Healthy Ways to Compromise With Your Partner

How to Break Up | When to End the Relationship| Can you be friends with your ex?

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

About us
We are Rachel Facio & Stacey Sherrell, the duo behind Decoding Couples.

Our mission is to take the complications out of communication, help you break unhealthy patterns and connect in a way that makes your grandma blush.
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Jokes aside, we are your one stop shop when your relationship needs change and support and therapy just isn’t accessible right now. We help end cyclical fights, extinguish hot spots and breathe life back into the bedroom. We also walk you through how to know for certain a relationship is worthy of moving to the next step or not. Wherever you are in your relationship journey (post break-up, single life, situationship, long term partnerships or marriage), we got you! We are known for ditching the fluff and giving you no-BS tools that allow you to see and FEEL tangible change.

#emotionalabuse #relationshipadvice #abusiverelationshipsigns #marriagetips #intimacy #respect #relationshipproblems #love #healthyrelationships #datingadvice #marriagecounseling #couplecounseling #unhealthyrelationships #healthycommunication

[TiffanyPatch-nrvl]

An apology without changed behavior is manipulation. I read that once and it has stuck with me.

[karencreighton]

I went through months and months of hell, but the moment when he had deliberately reduced me to collapsing against the wall in a bundle of tears, in front of our two small children, and I looked up and saw him smiling and enjoying my pain, I knew I was done and was getting out no matter what.

[teresaring]

Yes thank you for spelling this out. Exactly what you’re saying…it slowly creeps up over the years until you’re emotionally trapped and don’t know how to get out. I had no idea I was in an emotionally abusive relationship until I started hearing about narcissist/ cluster b personality
disorders 😢

[Karoger]

9:35 Just FYI on that point...My ex would stonewall/ignore me, we would eventually try to talk, then he would talk in circles to confuse me, turn things back on me and sometimes I would end up saying sorry. And he would feel justified in whatever he did to me, and nothing would ever be fully resolved. It took me a long time to fully recognize what was happening.

[LoisPasinella]

I heard a really good quote recently from another psychologist, who said, “An abusive person, abuses because they are an abuser”. Truth.

[Girlbrush.Threepwood]

I caught my "clueless about his behaviour" BF smirking during an argument. Full on cartoon evil villain smirk. He does not think I saw it, but it changed my view of everything in a heartbeat.

[KimHeiseArt]

Thanks! When I was going through an abusive situation one of the hard parts was figuring out if it was actual abuse. Thanks for spelling it out!

[MisssPeachykeen]

I am always getting yelled at and told its not yelling.

[jenniferpyatt]

The hardest thing for me has been overcoming the reactive abuse. Being around it for so many years, I stopped crying and joined in. I had to recognize and learn to control my emotions the way I did before. Focusing on myself has made a huge difference. I know I don’t want to yell or treat anyone the way he does.

[hbinfinity]

My partner had the "oh shit" moment in couple's counciling where he realized he was emotionally abusive and deeply passive aggressive. I had hope. Then a week and a half later, he tried physically intimidating me in public. I pointed it out. He was mortified. Apparently he just plain can't help it. Maybe long term it will get better. But I don't deserve to be in the detonation zone in the meantime.

[deborahmontgomery]

It had slowly developed to being abusive. It wasn’t even me who noticed it. I always defended him in conversations where a friend or relative would say that it sounded like emotional abuse. Then I had a couple very healthy friendships emerge and I recognized the level of disrespect that I had been dealing with. I had an epiphany on a family vacation and couldn’t “un-see” it. I had to decide if I would save him and lose myself or save myself and lose him. It was such a tough decision and very difficult to sever the connection but I felt like three years of degradation was too long. Im 37 and I am still learning and growing but I’m so happy that I chose me.

[Ryanthebrobdingnagian]

"you're being selfish" was her go to. I kept listening and trying to give until I completely broke down. After we broke up, It took 2 years of therapy to help me accept that taking care of myself isn't selfish.

[avaniraj]

21:35 reminded me of something a friend said, "think you got bitten by a snake and instead of going to the doctor and treating your wound and trying to heal from it you go after the snake and ask why it bit you, did the snake mean it, what did you do to deserve it, will the snake change..."

[PinkYellowGreen]

Not giving you privacy and stalking are forms of emotional abuse.

[j_fitzu]

I'd like to share that in my own experience, there weren't always words used to isolate me or stop me from doing things I enjoyed or needed to do. With his words he was fully supportive. It was his actions that made it slip by me so easily. For instance, I used to volunteer working with a local scholarship pageant once a week. I would ribd him I would be home late and to please take care of the girls for the evening. I would get home at 11pm and the house would be completely trashed, they wouldn't be in bed, nor bathed and hadn't even had dinner. When I asked what they are he'd say well our youngest had a bite of his pizza!? What!?

It was silently torturing me so that "I" would choose not to volunteer anymore. And if we ever fought he would call all my family behind my back and try to convince them I was unwell and needed the kids taken away. I had no idea what he was doing behind my back...

[LoudHadida]

I will never forget the one day when he was telling me how bad I am and crazy . That day I said to him that I was not like that and if I am he has made me this way. A week later I separated from him. I had to run with my kid and clothes on my back because he would not let me go, I was terrified and scared he was going to kill me... 10 years of this, I left broken it took me years to recover. I still have baggage I struggle to trust myself in terms of allowing romantic relationships in my life. He seemed like such a nice guy....

[fluutur]

i’m 16, my ex is 17. we started dating when we were both 14, and we were together for a little over 2 years. i just realized he was an emotionally abusive narcissist. i left him yesterday and i feel kinda numb, but im glad it’s finally over.

[PassionateFlower]

I stayed because I told myself, "Well ive been emotionally abusive to him too."

[BarbaraLinton-kc]

Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can't stop thinking about him, l've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I'm frustrated, I don't see my life as anyone else. I've done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can't, I don't know why I'm saying this here, I really miss him and just can't stop thinking about him.

[debtalan]

Wait, STOP:
he WONT TALK TO ME for a COUPLE DAYS, part. Um. Not ok. And definitely in the realm of emotional abuse. If there’s “repair” after, that doesn’t mean this person would feel safe after this! You feel ok about your partner not talking with you for DAYS?!? No.