5 Signs of Toxic Family Members

Do you suspect that you grew up with toxic family members? Toxic relationships, or toxic people can come from the people closest to you: your toxic family. If you suspect that you have toxic parents, toxic siblings, and looking for tips on how to deal with toxic family, then this video is for you.

This video's goal is to raise awareness on when your family might actually be toxic to you and what you can do about it. If you see yourself as a toxic family member, then this video can show you ways to draw boundaries to navigate difficult relationships.

Writer: Stela Kosic
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

[Psychgo]

We know some of you requested videos on toxic family, so we thought we go ahead and release this. Perhaps, it will help someone out there feel heard. Let us know if we've been posting too much as well and we will slow down.

[itsPizzaberry]

I have a toxic family. I relate to all of the points shown in this video. It surprises me to even think that some people actually have caring parents. I wish I could know how it feels to have a loving family. I don't even know what being loved feels like.

[nj]

I think the absolute worst thing about being raised in a toxic environment is competing with the ones who weren't. They just have a different, positive energy to them, they have big plans for the future, and they think the best about themselves. They don't have to spend hours and hours crying or recovering from all the emotional abuse.

[joban]

I was never shown respect because "respect is earned, not given", however I was forced to show respect at all times because "you're supposed to always give your parents respect, they don't need to earn it."

[lorilu]

After all these years of trying to tell myself I'm just seeking excuses to be special, I am finally able to accept that, as much as my family has given me a good life, they have also caused a huge impact on my mental health, and are the prime reason of all my insecurities and issues. Not all toxic people act toxic all the time, and as much as you feel you owe them love for all the good stuff, you're also entitled to feel bad about them, and that's okay

[SunBunz]

I know it’s easier said than done, but I assure you, it’s *NOT SELFISH TO LEAVE THOSE WHO **_CONSTANTLY_** HURT YOU.*
You are not a punching bag, you are a human being with a life, and it’s never too late to leave, and in the end, it’s YOUR life, not theirs. You don’t belong to anyone.

[larkaraniakim]

For anyone struggling in toxic homes: Once you find your way out. Learn to reparent yourself. Acknowledge the ways that you may have been affected and how it’s affecting you in your life. Provide yourself the space and the grace to work diligently on yourself. Everything won’t be perfect once you’re out of the home, it actually may be worse due to unhealthy upbringing. But know that it’s only a stage if you allow it to be. Work on your morals, values, and passions. Find people who will love you, but make sure your love for yourself isn’t compromised. Use your weaknesses as a challenge to overcome, and definitely find someone to support you (I.e. a therapist). If you’re in college take advantage of the counselors ( it’s in your fees). Life is what you make it. No one else can make the decisions for you, not even if they try.

[KazkanAntram]

Everything on this list hits home, and actually today I decided to have “The Toxic Talk” with my mom. It was a mess as you could imagine. The toxic habits I’m trying to shake off to this day are the same ones my parents have failed to deal with. My mom is not open to reason at all currently. I want to speak with my dad on this too to hear his side. My parents are acting aloof as well. My mom is becoming very defensive towards expressing myself, and I keep getting my word turned against me, guilted, and yelled at. I hope we can all come to a close on this eventually.

[jackcarraway]

An underrated of toxic family: not helping you with anything.

[catladylion]

The older I get, the more I have come to realisation that my family is very toxic. It’s breaks my heart everytime when I think back that my parents used to read my diaries and go through my drawers, and the smirk my mother had when I confronted her, she would always say things like “ so what, I went through your things, I’m your mother, I have rights to know what my child is up to.” My dad, till these days, still doesn’t believe mental health. His mindset about mental issues is that as long as no one in the family is known to have such a “thing”, then I’m not supposed to have it. It’s “ other people’s illness” . I spent years going to therapy and I can’t even tell them about what I think. I stopped talking to them a few years ago, and I’m slowly healing. It’s a long and difficult process, some days it gets so hard to get through, And I feel alone during these difficult times. I just wish I could have a family that could respect me and love me instead of putting me down all the time and dismissing my feelings.

[meowikoru]

TIMESTAMPS

0:38 #1 Communication
1:23 #2 Respect
2:22 #3 Criticism
3:15 #4 Privacy
4:10 #5 Affection

Hope this helped! <3

[FairPLAYER]

I just want to say that I'm never gonna treat my kids the way my parents did to me. The way they raised me is just some kind of hell i went through, yet I've managed to learn the good habits from the good people I meet around outside my home. Whenever i go out, I feel like I'd never come back. I talk to my friends about their families, how they treat them what are they like, and I really envy them. I'm just waiting till I go out for my studies in a different city. It's not nice here :)

[nicolejansen]

Watching this made me realize that I was truly in a toxic situation concerning my family. When I finally decided to speak up about how tired I've grown of being blamed for everything and not heard, they made it seem like I was crazy. I love with my dad now so at times I visit my mother and her husband but 2 weeks ago the trauma hit me. It made me realize that we never truly discussed the fact that our home was not a healthy one and it hurts because they choose to not be open minded. I know parents have their own trauma to deal with but its no excuse to take it out on your children.

[melanielopez]

My parents ticked off a lot of the toxic traits, but what I most lingered on was the affection. We do show affection, but most times it feels forced, fake and empty.

[JinxRin]

I totally agree on the toxic family points. I’m raised in the toxic life. It’s not helping with my mental health, my impulsive suicidal thoughts. But I don’t stay at home most of the time. I just walk around and head home late to sleep haha. To avoid communication and all.

[emilykershey]

I can totally relate to this 100%. I have been in a toxic family for a majority of my life, so thanks so much for sharing this info. ❤️

[upatam]

I never realized the way I was raised was toxic. I thought it was normal. So anytime I'd open up to other people about my home life they would give me a concerned look.

All 5 of these, came out as toxic for me.
They aren't as bad as they used to be. But, the hurt is still there and that fear is. I'm 23 and still can't be too open about my feelings and opinions in that household. I love my family, but they are very overwhelming.

Going through this, I never had access to being able to take control of my life or my anxiety and depression.

Its gotten worse over the years, but I'm getting help .

[xzkkyof]

I want to move out from my parents home, but every time I bring up the idea to my mom, she starts saying that she will ignore me as if I never existed only because I decided to "abandon" her first. I really love my mom, and I wish to do everything I can to make her happy, but ever since she told me that, I've been having a lot of panic attacks and no apatite for weeks.

[blightchip]

The 2nd one is so incredibly true my mom was always a “shut up I’m right your just a kid” type of parent I was the biggest mamas boy growing up but when I realized how much she thought she deserved respect and didn’t give me any in return I slowly started to hate her we are still on bad terms 5 years after I moved out but I’m glad we are still on bad terms because it shows that she only “loved” me when she had power over me

[petalswirls]

I came from a toxic family, and I identify with most of the toxic traits you mentioned, especially in my childhood. Now, things are changing and I think there are a couple of things that are on a healthy side, such as Privacy, Communication and Affection. Criticism and Respect is still a work in progress. What's tough is that with my parents, one of them has mostly outgrown the toxic traits and turned them into healthy traits, while the other one is still mostly around the toxic side, hence I can't have a complete change. Anyway, I really like this topic, so thanks so much for the insight! :)