How To Work With Childhood Attachment Trauma

In this video we cover: attachment, dismissive avoidant, avoidant, anxious preoccupied, intimacy, healthy partnership, healthy marriage, fearful avoidant, journaling, journal prompt, tools, therapy tools, conflict, self-regulation, toxic, toxic family systems, boundaries, truth, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, alcoholism, scapegoat, genogram, siblings, dissociation, trauma

THE TWO BOOKS ABOUT INNER CHILD WORK:

-MARGARET PAUL - INNER BONDING

-LUCIA CAPPACHIONE - RECOVERY OF YOUR INNER CHILD

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:45 How To Work With Childhood Attachment Trauma
3:47 Secure Attachment Style
4:22 Anxious Preoccupied
5:11 Dismissive Avoidant
5:54 Fearful Avoidant
8:27 Avoidance / Anxiety
10:34 Anxious Preoccupied | Re-parenting Tasks
12:56 Dismissive Avoidant | Re-parenting Tasks
15:23 Fearful Avoidant | Re-parenting Tasks
18:29 Final Thoughts
19:54 Journal Prompts
22:32 Outro

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

MUSIC IS BY - Chris Haugen - Ibiza Dream

⚠️ Disclaimer

My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255

[amycuaresma]

Hey Patrick maybe you are unaware of just how amazing you really are. The way you make people laugh, lift others up, or spread some extra love. You do this even though you are struggling too, and I think it makes you such a beautiful human being. You are reason someone feels welcome, seen, heard, valued, loved, and supported today

[AlenaAleczandra]

I grew up with a burdened mother who gradually became mildly but consistently depressed, and a strict, authoritarian, cold, and extremely irritable father. Later on, my mother had a stroke and was left paralyzed. They didn't understand each other at all, yet they never divorced. Additionally, at school, I had a violent teacher who used to beat us if we made a mistake and made us learn out of fear, humiliating us and speaking harshly. I was 7 years old, and I know that from that moment on, I was no longer myself. I lost the courage to voice my opinions, express my views firmly, and showcase my personality. It shattered me at the core. Under the constant stress, I developed migraines, a condition I still suffer from today.
I lived in chaos – fear, arguments, and my mother leaving for another country, which I didn't fully understand at the time. This led my sister and me to stay with our father, who attempted suicide, believing that our mother had abandoned us. The chaos around me has turned me into an anxious, fearful, and untrusting individual today.

[crazymusicman]

I can't believe you post such quality content for free. may we all be filled with loving kindness.

[NorthernT]

The part where you say

“ you gotta love yourself

Your natural demeanour around such a sensitive subject makes dealing with this a little more comfortable. You are an incredible human helping other humans and that is the most commendable thing.

[Fortune]

Had a huge mental breakthrough literally just yesterday, and it was about the fearful avoidant attachment style. So, yet again, here I am complimenting your timing! This isn't the Truman Show, right..? hah. Your content is amazing Patrick; you're leading so many, myself included, to healing I'm sure we never thought we'd find, however late it may be.

[Zorriel]

My partner is secure attachment with a healthy childhood and I'm anxious preoccupied attachment, it's hard as a lot of problems are caused by me. But his patience is what I need

[SusanKG]

I've been a loner for so long that the "want to" has died. I have zero desire for human relationships. I am content in my own space with my three dogs. The only remaining irritation is when a coworker or some random person becomes rude or aggressive in some way. Thinking about my abusive past, of course, still hurts, but I am slowly coming to terms with that too. I will never have the family or relationship I once thought I wanted. Period. I give myself permission to live life on my terms. No more endless compromises. I wear what I want. I eat what I want. I read what I want. I listen to whatever style of music I choose. I sleep when I want. I buy what I can afford. I laugh and cry when I feel the need to. There was a time in my life when none of that was possible. Freedom is more sustaining than any possible human interaction. I think we need to be okay with that outcome too. We don't all get the Hallmark version of happily ever after, but we can find meaning in life in other ways.

[jennaferrell]

Anyone else always shocked on how we have to re-parent what our parents didn’t do for us?😩

[sii]

When you said "It's you and me, kid" I started crying lmao

[scarletrosita]

I’ve been watching your channel for a couple of months now and I want to say how grateful I am for them. I live on a fixed income otherwise I’d pay you money.
I’ve been really struggling from a lot of things including a high ACE Score (left in a room to die aged two. Eventually sent home from hospital), PTSD and dissociative disorder.
In the last one of your videos you spoke about how childhood trauma leads us, potentially, to making terrible adult relationship choices.
I’m your flagship gal.
I’m trying to heal and you’re helping.
If I win the lottery you’ll know about it.
Sending you love and peace

[mynotificationsareoff.]

My husband and i were both physically abused. It leads to a lot of unique conflicts, but endless understanding. I love him so much :)

[zuzanna]

I am a complete dismissive avoidant and it sometimes feels like being a psychopath cause i can easily throw people away. It sucks

[Ariadne-kd]

I think this is a big one, or maybe the root of all the problems for me! I also love that you talk about fixing it in a "good enough" way, because I tend to think I have to do things perfectly! Also, I think you could do a whole video about mindless clichés in the recovery community!

[ShinyEvergreens]

This video blew my mind....I am fearful avoidant. This explained the attachment styles better than anything I had previously seen. I always knew I had the avoidant aspect, but felt there was something missing. I've been noticing that my relationship is very hot and cold; up and down, and it's because of chaos that *I'm* creating. I have a hard time trusting my partner and myself but at the same time don't want to lose the relationship. Thank you so much!

[andycodling]

Really needed this..I'm caught up with being a friend with my ex but deep down I know my inner child wants him to love me and I know I'm going to get hurt

[DanDanTheFireman]

You're saving lives. Thank you. I'm open about my mental health on my channel and your videos are unlocking the next step for me. It's scary, but I'm in a good place to learn about myself.

Thank you.

[tahiyamarome]

Again so targeted and useful. Does anyone else struggle w watching these videos w full attention all the way through? I find myself hitting a point in the topic that resonates and then it's like my brain wants to run away and i have to keep backing up and re-listening from the point of the recognition that it's about my experience. It's kind of like a sensitive tooth or something.

[katieg]

I really like these types of videos that focus on attachment because it really depersonalizes the issues and makes them more clear as to why we behave the way we do. It's a relief to understand that there is a reason for these behaviors other than we are just hopeless and inherently flawed. The degree that these things affect us shows just how important loving relationships and bonding are to being human.

[abbye]

hey patrick i love your videos, i have a suggestion. Could you make a video talking about what a healthy romantic relationship generally looks like? i feel like i know what an unhealthy relationship is but the line is blurred between perfect and healthy.

[jb-zeyh]

Great video. I’m only focusing on my attachment style, no one else’s, no more trying to figure out the “other” person ( specifically my coparent). I’m only focusing on how to ensure my child has a healthy secure attachment style and The people in his life foster those skill. Great video and great perspective shift .