HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT: MY NEEDS DON'T MATTER! | DR. KIM SAGE

This video describes Anxious Attachment and how we often engage in an "outside in orientation" where we over focus on the needs of others, in an attempt to manage fears of abandonment, anxiety, fear, etc - at the expense of our own needs.

******FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:

THE ATTACHMENT COACHING PROGRAM: PERSONALIZED ATTACHMENT MANUAL

**************************

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)

CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[angelcolburn]

These anxious attachment videos are so helpful! Please keep making them. It helps us who may not have the financial means to afford a therapist just yet. But with these videos I’m able to do some of the ground work before getting a therapist. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[teraedwards]

"What did you most long for in childhood?" To be treated as a subject versus an object.

Yep. I think I need therapy.

[LoveHarryStyles]

I feel so much better watching these videos. It's very crazy how much I suffered and made myself suffer even more when no one in the world even really cared about my needs.

[Sarasarah]

I thought I was alone until I came upon your videos. My hypersensitivity drives me nuts, I am learning to just shift my focus when I can

[deborahl]

you are such a thoughtful doctor with such a soothing voice. I appreciate you educating those that struggle and are working towards healing! God Bless you Dr. Sage!

[Anitameg]

Amazing video A month ago, my relationship of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, l've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why l am saying this here.

[carmenhartman]

My needs never matterd. It was wat ever one else wanted....every thing was my fault...

[victoriabernhard]

I have anxious attachment only with romantic relationships. I do take care of myself and well. I just get so mad at myself that I chose men who decieve me and are avoidant. I feel like such a fool and my heart ifeels broken 💔

[ninazuccaro]

Why am I like this when I literally have had no issues in my childhood 😅

[fortminorproject]

Trying to a toxic family is hard I feel nobody fully understands or listens to me . I love your videos.

[Holy_Lily]

you are SO strong. you have a career, you raise children and yet you find the space to notice how you want to deepen your relationship with yourself. who does all that at once ? I admire you and your vulnerability and what you give to the world through this channel. what a quality person <3 <3

[amalabdulaziz]

I’m so happy that I finally get to know what going on with me, for years I was blaming myself for lack of control regarding my attachment and feelings, knowledge is half of the solution

[BooKitty]

Thanks Dr. Sage. I needed this today. I'm tired of being an over thinker and I do everything you mentioned in your video and I'm tired of ruining my relationships.

[anothercat]

If the partner doesn't hear about our needs, they will not have a chance to know us. Thank you Kim Sage!

[caitlinlynch]

Oh so if their text is “GM” and they can’t talk on the phone, that’s the same as mornings when they say “good morning baby” and can’t talk on the phone. Because they are busy and have work or grown up responsibilities. So they are just busy. They don’t hate you. The relationship is not over. It’s not over and all the love is not gone. Such extremes and insecurities show up like this. Yes it’s so much pressure to interpret every text message like that.

[reddwarf]

7:13 wow, brilliant observation, when someone is mad at what you say or text that it’s fear and it’s fear that it’s something bad for them

[caitlinlynch]

19:20 toxic behavior I agree with that fully. Sometimes we can hurt ourselves thinking we can fix everything

[waiateruati]

Thanks Kim👍🏾I have been so busy caring for others and being the father I never had. I have ignored myself and always put my needs after those around me. I need to stop this pattern and care for my self and value myself more ❤

[hayleyrenae]

Your videos are so helpful and omg those puppies in the background just boosted my dopamine. LOL

[allwellandgood]

Yes to all of this! Excited for your new series Dr Sage. Recently my mental health started to go back downhill and I realised I had stopped meditating, connecting with friends and journaling. Within days of commiting to make the time to do so and repeatedly listening to empath meditation I felt so much better. It has really shown me the importance of maintaining and prioritising what we need and deserve alongside everyone elses needs, especially when that doesn't come naturally or comfortably ❤️