9 ways to change your anxious attachment style to a secure attachment.

If you have an anxious attachment style you’re probably dreaming of what it would be like to feel more secure in your relationships. To not feel so worried about your connection and to not get hijacked by fear and insecurity. In this video I am going to go over 9 things you can do in order to start feeling more secure and stop feeling so tied up in knots.

#attachmentstyle #anxiousattachmentstyle #relationships #datingadvice

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[catherinehenderson]

This was not a childhood developed attachment style for me, people don’t talk about how an adult relationship can create this

[Dr.Thandi]

I love that you start off by saying: there is nothing wrong with you and it’s not your fault. Thank you. 🥰

[graceguerzon]

1. Find a partner who' secure
Learn to need met and make boundaries
2. Get in touch with shame, you are enough.
3. Express your emotional need
4. Dont play games, be vulnerable and direct
5. Be gentle and less critical
6. Soothe yourself
7. Focus on yourself, do your own thing
8. Go to therapy

[ricochetsixtyten]

Obsessively watching videos on anxious attachment certainly helps...







To make me more anxious.

[daniellevetterkind]

I dated 1 secure man in my life and it was literally life changing. 😩 he had to move far away for work so I unfortunately could not keep him forever. ☹️ his presence in my life healed me tremendously but then my next relationship was a hot mess and I feel like I’m back to square one. Thank you so much for this video. ❤

[suzanahas]

Finally, someone who is not making me feel bad about my axious attachment...thank you!!

[ineedtounwind]

1:20 Find a partner with a secure attachment.
1:48 Work on feeling less shame so you can start feeling more worthy.
2:21 Work on building your self-esteem.
2:55 Express your emotional needs in a clear and direct way.
3:33 Don't play games. Be vulnerable and direct instead.
3:59 Resist being so critical of yourself.
4:27 Learn to do a lot more self-soothing.
4:59 Focus more on yourself.
5:28 Go to therapy.

[jennies]

Dating someone w anxious attachment style, it’s really draining for me. I find myself always having to reassure him, tell him things can be worked on and it will be okay. But he has this voice in his head he won’t budge.

[leah.jainie]

My relationship was healthy and something i never knew id feel good about but the truth was i was so anxious to the point i was physically distressed with no apetite, nausea and insomnia. We had to take a break and work on ourselves in between

[Sarah-ftjr]

Would be easier just to get someone who is also anxiously attached so you can both just spend all your time together saying I love you and worshiping each other 🤷🏻‍♀️

[bobbieblanton]

Thank you. That last statement...if they're triggering my attachment style then they aren't a good match for me. I needed to hear that. ❤

[rycherulz]

Thank you for this video. I found out I have an anxious attachment style 6 months age 51!! Thanks to my therapist and a LOT of hard self-work, I'm starting to process this and work through it. I've made a LOT of changes in my personal life over the last two years, but dealing with my anxiety and anxious attachment has been by far the hardest thing I've ever done.

[marisolb]

Can you pretty please do a series like this for us lucky anxious/avoidant peeps.

[GNS_Waffles]

I was dozing off but heard " stop critizing yourself" lol so started listening again

[thecollegedropoutt]

cried while watching this, me and her are on break now and i cant help but feel if i wasnt anxious and overthinking like this things wouldve been different. we're both working on ourselves during this break and agree to no doing things with other people in a sense of romantically or anything like that. i just want to be better for her

[bolanle]

I had an episode last night. I started feeling anxious and didn't feel better until I fell asleep.

I am currently seeing a guy who I really like & who is super sweet to me. He has also expressed how much he likes me and how he'd really like to try things out with me. He'd take me out on dates and makes time to see me at least twice a week. He'd also call or text me throughout the day.

The issue is, when I don't hear from him within a specific time of the day, I start to get anxious. I try distracting myself with work and other stuff but he'd be in my subconscious and it can be quite overwhelming. Often times he'd explain why he wasn't available and would never go a whole day without communicating with me.

When I feel this way at times, i pull back. He once noticed this and told me I was a bit off and he didn't like the fact that I pulled back. Poor lil me give an excuse cause I'm not ready to be express that level of vulnerability just yet.

I really like this guy but I'm scared that my anxious attachment style with chase him away. Help!

[glasshousefuture]

Personally, I really appreciate and will practice 7, 8, 9, starting at 4:26. Thank you. I'll be coming back for these specific parts.

[andrewd]

What to do if you finally met someone after years of searching? but then you start to feel anxious if they dont text/ call call etc. my mind starts to go "do they really like me?" i feel like im just in the beginning stages of a relationship and im just not sure how to proceed.

[clairelouwho]

Hi Jeff, love your videos, so clear, concise and really helpful 👍🏻

[soulscapes]

This was wonderful! Truly appreciated the advice and love Jeff's way of delivering this rich content. You are so lovely, Jeff. Thank you so much.