7 Signs Of ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT

Let's talk about anxious attachment - everything from the anxious attachment styles or why you may be feeling anxiety with your girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, parents or any relationship in your life. We can often have anxious attachment in our relationships - either in intimate relationships or in our friendships. So how do we know if we have anxious attachment and what does it look like in our life? Let's talk about what anxious attachment is, the signs you may have anxious attachment and how to heal from anxious attachment - or what to do if you struggle with anxious attachment or codependency in your relationships. Anxious attachment isn't always the same as being codependent but may have some similarities. It's important to understand anxious attachment if you're looking for healing techniques or to break unhealthy relationship patterns in your life. Here are the 7 signs of anxious attachment.

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[ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Just want to say that Anxious ppl are so sweet and kind and giving. I wish all Anxiously Attached people the best of luck in their healing because I know they can struggle with rejection, exclusion and abandonment wounds pretty badly ❤

[noremac]

I’m fine with being alone. What throws me off is when I relent and let someone in and it doesn’t work out…then, I become a mess!

[Diogenes]

I was emotionally neglected as a child. I've had depression since I was 4.
Dad was always working and my mom was always taking care one of my siblings.
I became a people pleaser because I couldn't develop any kind of relationships with anyone.
As I got older I was desperate to be in a relationship. I wanted to count on someone so badly.
I basically had to grow up and understand the world by myself.

[Jsh]

Its the most horrible feeling, you finally let someone into your life & then the whole time you're worried that they'll walk out of it.

[One_day_I_will_rise]

This video hurt a lot and also made me realise that my whole character, and the way I interact with others, is because I am so petrified of being abandoned. I am overly loving and helpful - and although I always want to be caring, I want the fear to go away now as its been too long.

[FriendlyNeighborhoodUnclePete]

I have a big issue with Ruminating. It hurts me all the time. It’s difficult to stop. I’d love to see a video on how to beat that cycle.

[nunya]

I cried watching this video 💔 I hate that I was neglected as a child

[Macieks]

I knew I had anxious attachment already and I can confirm all of these points are indicators of anxious attachment. The only thing I would note about these points in the video is that attachment is more of a thing that occurs in a relationship between 2 people and not something that specific person has on its own. That means that you can have relationships where you are anxious but others where you are avoidant or safe and don't experience the anxious signs.

[_just_TK]

I’d love to see a video specifically on how to manage a relationship when one (or both) people have an anxious attachment!

[suzer]

😮 This is soooo me! Wow. I'm blown away bc I always thought I was just too broken. I feel this so strongly. I panic and go down a rabbit hole if I'm not texted/called back right away from close friends/family. I then start stalker texting numerous messages. I also tell myself stories about how these people are just not good people ... they're selfish, jerks, etc. As soon as they get back to me, I totally switch and feel relaxed and calm ... almost like I imagine needing a hit from a drug would be! I have often thought I would rather be needed than loved because then it's a guarantee that I wouldn't be abandoned or replaced. I have numerous good friends who love me unconditionally. However, I dismiss that fact and obsess about family members that I feel don't -- bc they no longer need me. I am definitely going to do this work shop! Thank you for all you do!

[CeltKnight]

Wow. I'm middle-aged and entering into a new relationship, possibly the first healthy one I've ever had (I seem to be a target for narcissists). And I hit all of these. I get so angry at myself for needing constant reassurances (to be fair at my age there are no uncomplicated relationships and credit as due, she does an amazing job of reassuring me). The intrusive, catastrophic thoughts drive me mad. Having anxiety attacks because I fully expect at any moment to find out she's flipped personalities and is not the woman I love. Again, to her credit (her past is more painful than mine) she gets that and we made an agreement to openly and honestly discuss our feelings and she does very well for me. I heard about this Anxious Attachment Syndrome and this explains it perfectly. Time to get well.

[ryant]

I can swing from anxious to avoidant depending on the person or situation. I had a dad who worked all the time and wasn’t loving at all. And my mom parentified and used me as her emotional support system all the damn time. Growing up my parents always fought. I simply did not have an emotionally safe home.

Now after a divorce and being abandoned, always being the people pleaser, I’m dating again. I have done a lot of therapy and knew I was a codependent. But it was until recently that I realized I have an anxious attachment and fear of rejection and abandonment.

I have been dating a woman for 6 months and realized I’m hyper sensitive to small changes in behavior. If she doesn’t text, or send memes, regularly I get anxious and ruminate. Which is a strange feeling as it’s completely unwarranted of no fault of her own. She’s literally one of the easiest people to be around and has a calming demeanor.

I of course am aware of these feelings and do not bother her with my anxiousness as I do not want to ruin this relationship. So I’m practicing mindfulness and trying to address my core wounds that cause this. It’s easier said than done.

[_just_TK]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your own story ❤

[DenkyManner]

I suspect my girlfriend of 2 months has this anxious attachment. Trauma dumping, asking me if I miss her, making it her mission to sort out my life (I don't have addictions but my life is messed up in other ways, ) getting offended when I need to end a call after 2 hours. I'm concerned whether what we have is "real" or just desperation for it to be real

[alicemavurere]

Knowing that im not alone gives me some bit of comfort. I find myself resonating with these comments

[Maddie-uvrz]

I did EMDR for my emotional neglect and anxious attachment style and it worked wonders. People think EMDR is largely designed for cases of acute, single-event PTSD but it honestly changed my life and me as a person. I feel like I have a strong voice in my dating life now, and very firm boundaries of what I will and won't accept. I would really recommend those with an anxious attachment to try and find an EMDR therapist who is capable of this, if you're finding dating and relationships way too much of an anxiety-filled experience (just like I did).

[SophiaBrown-pr]

Absolutely amazing video - this really helped me as i didnt know what was bothering me in my new relationship, (6 months on) i want it to work but before he went away for 5 weeks (he will be back in 3 weeks time) I was fine but feeling drained and worried - he became clingy, i had no energy left, and then when he went away i started to feel heartbroken and insecure, alcohol doesnt work for me. i came across anxiety attachment and your video was the first to appear - thank you, i now can start a healing journey again and make use of the next 3 weeks for myself to find myself again. This relationship is the first after a 10 year break from a previous one. I seen so much about myself in your video - Thank you

[probablythefbi]

I know that I have this attachment style but where it came from is a little different. Both my parents, especially my mom, were always there for me physically and emotionally. It almost got to the point that I didn’t care because I was so used to it. Whenever I moved to college and moved into a long distance relationship, I started really feeling the things mentioned in this video. It’s like I developed it because I was so used to overly focused and affectionate family that when I had significantly less of that, I felt this way.

[samuelosazuwa]

This has really shown me why I am the way I am. I am very self aware and knew that the way I feel emotions couldn’t be right. I also knew that I hated being alone and needed to hear from my partner every few seconds and it made me nervous when they hadn’t replied or called back, to the point where my heart would physically beat out of my chest when I’d see my partner online without him having replied my messages. I see now how unhealthy this is. And if I could fix my attachment style it might make me more secure in my relationship.

[brittanywilcox]

Kati this was wonderful! I'm moving in with my long time long distance gf and I've noticed my anxious attachment issues flaring. I know this is due to the instability moving causes, and I'm able to "reel it in". Thank you for being part of the community and support system I have in place to help me grow into who I want to be❤