A tip for anxious people when your avoidant partner retreats

[LD]

They’ll retreat if things are good or bad. They need therapy, not compromise.

[Daniellemarie]

Its like if you chase a cat it will run same applies in a relationship if you chase him or her we have to make friends with that fear and anxiety by loving ourselves more in that moment by remembering we are okay we are safe we have to switch our focus and put in on ourselves learning and growing in love because there are so many things we can you for ourselves 🥰❤

[Daniellemarie]

I do not have anxiety. I have anxious moments, so often we fear the anxiety when the anxiety is there to teach us it's our body telling us something we just have to be brave enough to listen ❤🥰

[sabrinaprovencal]

I can give them space unless I get drunk....stay sober and avoid acting like the psycho vodka tends to bring out. Two different women and I'm proud of the sober one. The one that got drunk for a week after being set up tested gaslit and faced hypocrisy and rules that applied to me but not him then punished as if I committed the most heinous betrayal despite hardly committing anything that wasn't forgivable especially when I apologized and repeatedly asked to be forgiven. I couldn't handle his no contact and rejection over such a minor offense. No contact ended after 1 week and then discovered that was all a test. I guess I passed because then he professed deeper emotions for me than I expected for 2 days then retreated again. Yea I'm going to stay sober and silent. I know he needs space but I'm also turned off by someone so damn volatile and wishy washy. My feelings about him won't change but I get stronger and smarter the more I learn and I'm really good at rebuilding and changing my own emotional pitfalls and mistakes....eventually I'll be new inside and I won't promise I won't outgrow him if we don't align by the time I am strong enough to not put myself through that BS again. Lesson learned. Don't follow instructions. They don't mean it. Especially if it feels like a test or challenge. Yea it is! Why is it ok to set someone up then rip them a new one for doing exactly what they said they wanted!?!?!?! Imagine the reverse. Can't! He said it's OK for him but not me. He means it.

[blackkitty]

What? Hahhaah only the most painful relationship in my life drove me
Into talking to my wounded inner child. I dont chase, but I actually retuen the favor, he pulls awaya I pull away, I was crying the whole afternoon, and it was so painful that I want to hurt him back, and I will ignore him until I can see he feels the way I felt

[Anon]

I am an anxious attachment and my gf is avoidant. Whenever things get good she is “too tired” to see me or is too busy. How can I make our relationship progress ?

[patriot-hjvx]

I'm avoidant. It makes me sick when people cling to me or are needy.