How To Deal With Gaslighting | Personal Development School - Relationship Advice

Setting Boundaries to End Compulsive People-Pleasing & Create Authentic Connections

Conflict Resolution: Speaking Up & Steps to Healthily Resolve Relationship Challenges

In this video, we talk about what to do when your partner is constantly gaslighting you, how to communicate, what things to look out for, and tools to determine when it's time to move on from the relationship.

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!

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#Gaslighting #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #Relationships #PDS #ThaisGibson #Abuse #Narcissism #MentalHealth #Communication

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[angelabutron]

"A pattern of gaslighting is a pattern of lack of taking accountability". This was really powerful for me, thank you.

[viviancardenas]

This is so completely validating. My now ex boyfriend just could not understand what he was doing to me by not taking accountability for his actions. He really thought I was just being difficult and that he was compromising more than I was to the very end no matter how much I explained.

[xlx]

The scary thing about gaslighting is when you dont know you're being gaslighted, so you think youre crazy and you get stuck in a cycle until you break that relationship. it's so crazy

[sarahcook]

I couldn't deal with it. The best way is to leave that person. Gaslighting patterns are abuse patterns.

[roshalllambert]

Gaslighting is very challenging for the person on the receiving end of it! I had a narcissistic parent and the gaslighting took a toll on me very badly!

[blackjay]

I think there is a difference between the gaslighting coming from a true narcissist versus that which comes from someone trying to compensate for their own core wounds of shame. A narcissist doesn't really feel shame.

[jessicasun]

Excellent video. We can have compassion for people but never at our own expense.

[ryanpoe]

Self-awareness, intelligence, reciprocity and accountability is sexy and the only traits that make one lovable.

[evonne]

It made me feel so stupid to be gaslit and used by my.ex. I genuinely thought he needed help putting pieces together and had memory problems. at the time I didnt know what it even was nor what a narc was either. He was fooling me the whole time and running me into the ground. Once I knew what it was it not only made me feel like crap about myself, and him, but showed the ridiculous lengths he was willing to go to dodge responsibilities. It does traumatize a person to endure this. its proven to cause brain damage and emotional dysregulation with time. Which I have. It fries your brain and central nervous system out. You must walk away. Normal boundaries rules are out the window. The more emotional you are or in love the harder to break it they just use that against you. It sucks. Life is not the same after that kind of abuse.

[gulliver]

Thank you for this Thais. I do wish not everything about gaslighting was about romantic relationships. I was heavily codependent on my narcissistic sister pretty much most of my life but wasn't aware of it. I spent a lot of time in pain due to being gaslit but felt unable to get out of the relationship. I hardly see her now except at family functions. What I noticed with her was that she would deny she said or did something and then she would ACTUALLY BELIEVE it (I am sure if she did a lie detector test, she would pass) so there was no hope of working through our conflict. I remember sitting on the beach one day and wondering if I was going mad and realizing how abusive the relationship was.

[SS-ints]

Thank you for an excellent and positive video and not attacking the gaslighter and adding fuel to the fire. I needed to hear this reminder because I love someone who occasionally gas lights and had to walk away even though he will take accountability after lots of effort to connect with him. This last time of gaslighting really hurt, deeper than ever before so I had to leave and it’s extremely painful and more so when your support group hates on your partner so I have nobody to talk to about it. He’s a good man with really bad coping behaviors. It’s hard walking away from a good man.

[suzettemack]

“There’s a difference between having compassion & understanding for someone else’s pain & suffering vs using that compassion to then violate one’s self.” I needed to hear that now. The challenge is the gaslighting happening in marriage counseling. No closure for me when I bring up examples of abusive behavior, it’s denied. But we’re supposed to be working on being more intimate and connected, and I end up frustrated and angry.

[nightmareappliance]

Gaslighting was coined from the play “Gaslight” by Patrick Hamilton which was brought to film in 1944. I’ve always loved this film ever since I was a child, and i was already looking for “gaslighting” before the word was being used. It’s so hard to determine I find when you are being gaslit when you are struggling with your own trust issues.

[nummyjvi]

This video was perfect timing for me. I'm going through this with my DA that has had affairs. He's extremely gaslighting me and won't take any accountability during arguments. He just said to me He's sick of it and I'm putting him through all this pain 😳😳😳 WHAT???!! Because I need you to do affair recovery work and have conversations with me and work on healing, I'm putting YOU through pain!? His shame wound is DEEP!

[tucky]

How do we know if we are gaslighting someone? I have been accused of it and it feels awful. Is it something that can be done unintentionally?
The context here is someone telling me their version of what happened in a conflict but I don’t view it as what actually happened, I had another view and I shared it with them. They didn’t phrase there’s as “this is my perspective” they just said this is what happened. It attacked my character, so maybe in my defensiveness instead of adding “in my perspective “ to what I shared,
I also just said no, that isn’t what happened. But then they said I was gaslighting them. How do we know who is right when this happened?

[jeffwhite]

I really needed to hear this. I let her gaslight me too much. It broke me too the point of mental break down

[couch_philosoph]

My mum has always gaslight since i can remember. I think she told me she was sorry one time i can remember (she threw away the jeans with holes in them that i bought from my own money at 15. Then a friend told her she didn't react well and i guess she understood that). But that's thr only time. Never ever a sorry about what she has said. I don't want to diagnose anybody. But the way she explodes on small things really seems like bpd and the language she uses. I don't remember how many time she said slurs to my dad because he like forgot to buy chicken on his way home

[ross]

He took accountability for ignoring me, and then he is now repeating the pattern he had wholeheartedly apologised for. I had thought about having compassion for him first, now I resonate with setting my own boundaries and walking away.

He is back repeating the same pattern, he feels no remorse, no qualms, no compassion... why should I stand by him instead of protect my own sanity?. He suffered trauma from being ignored after suffering abuse, now he blames his trauma for ignoring me. He shows me extra attention, then a prolonged silence.

He seems me a liar, a manipulator, someone who wants to purge his own pain harming others on purpose. I feel as if he wants to feel important at my expense, he wants me to complain, to go an extra mile for him, so that he can add some drama to his life and gain the power he felt deprived of, through abusing me with his silence.

[foreveryoungpisces]

My 4 year overseas boyfriend has gaslighted me during the pandemic as he's come unhinged (as have so many even here in the US) but I call him out on it, and he'll say "I'm just taking the piss" (he lived in London a few years). He'll tease me on how I pronounce a foreign band, or actor. I learn from him though even if sometimes I feel a bit stupid. 😆
He's much better now, and does take accountability. Kept apart for so long, 4 cancelled flights, I cut him some slack. In person he's well mannered, polite -- I think distance also creates passion turned to hostility. We all gaslight sometimes, even without realizing it. I'm big on SM, he is not, yet he sees me having a good time. I think it's hard on him. Relationships are hard during the best of times, in this day and age of internet.

[therealkeinemoniker]

i just realized the FA woman i've been seeing or was seeing has been gaslighitng me pretty hard. i went from wanting her back to being incredibly angry and over it.. i sent a long angry message, depending on how she responds to that im done...