Foster parent supporting sick children

Foster parents, how are your kids doing? If they are sick right now, here are some considerations.

Being sick can trigger a variety of responses in kids who have experienced neglect or abuse. Often we don’t really know how they will respond to being helped and cared for until they get sick.

I’ve offered a variety of things to consider in this video. I also welcome you to join in the comments below to add to the discussion.

How do you care for kids in foster care when they are sick? What do they need most from you? Please share below! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

[lynn__]

Hearing you say that the child isn't a burden for being sick and it is okay if they're not feeling well hit me really hard... I actually almost cried.
Much love ❤️❤️

[KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

Thank you for demonstrating a matter-of-fact gentle voice that isn’t fake or singsongy.

[rippsp]

As a child who was screamed at by my father for being sick, this made me cry. Thankyou.

[BlueBelle]

“Your not a burden for getting sick, we all get sick sometimes” 😢 damn I needed to hear this as a kid

[livinthelamb]

I sat in a waiting room for 2 hours today watching a very sick kid who clearly was in pain and it appeared that his mother was ignoring him. Even though he very gently asked once if she would stroke his hair. She seemed more concerned that his shoes were untied and his mask was inside out. It freaking broke my heart.

All that to say, I'm really grateful of the education in this video and the empathy that can be learned. It really moved me.

[kristiharman]

Doc McStuffins was so helpful with my friend's daughter who has a heart condition. It helped make doctor visits, exams, CTs, etc so much less scary.

[dannyearley]

I hate that you have to tell children that they’re not a burden for being sick but I’m glad you realize you need to sometimes. Some kids genuinely are abused verbally and even physically for saying they don’t feel well.

[ReyhaofMidgard]

I wish my birth parents showed me an ounce of empathy. Watching you and other “gentle parenting” creators give me hope.💗

[noodles]

My nephew lives with me full time and I tell him every day how special he is and how loved he is. Last night he said to me "I'm special auntie!" my heart melted. Yes you are, gorgeous. 💖
EDIT: I had to leave my full time job because my nephew had Covid and my boss said I was unreliable. We’re still doing fine and I feel better not being around a judgmental person for a child’s circumstances. 💜

[hollowhorned]

It is so strange that as an adopted kid that was lucky enough not to be needing foster parents; I still worry about “being a burden” to my family, I can’t imagine how bad it must be if you had no steady family or in limbo with other families. Thank you for the education!

[Ginnyvos]

I will always remember when one of my fosterbrothers, all of 6 years old, got sick for the first time since moving in with us. He threw up all over the hallway on the way to the bathroom and my mom found him, shivering and shaking and crying, desperately trying to clean up his own sick. This stuff is SO important, and so important to keep doing even if it doesn't always work the first time.

[street]

“You’re not in trouble.” Beautiful gift.

[faeoori]

I was in and out of the foster system growing up. I desperately wish I'd had a foster parent like you. I still struggle with trauma from some of my experiences. I'm so thankful that you are out there. And I hope that others can learn from you.

[gayvagina]

Some kids might not even realize they are sick and need help, since they had to take care of themselves when they were much worse. “I don’t need to go to the doctor, one time I was feeling way worse then this and puking and coughing and couldn’t breath and mommy didn’t take me to the doctor then, why would I need to go now?” That kinda stuff.

Some kids also might freak out when they puke since they might have only seen their parents like when drunk, or the kid might think they are in trouble for making a mess.

Some kids also might fake being high when taking medication (mimicking their birth parents who do drugs and told the kids that mommy/daddy was just “taking medication”)

[Angel-flower]

Crying 😭
" You're not in trouble for being sick"
I was NEVER told this and I started crying this so sweet

[signaturelements]

I’m 38, had both parents, and am currently super sick and broke down sobbing today apologizing to my partner for taking care of me. This must be so much harder on foster kids but mannnn just my particular family dynamic def set me up for the burden vibe. Ty for all of your content. It’s healing. ❤

[jennifertheiss]

Bruh....the way my heart constricted when you said, "It is ok that you are not feeling well. We all get sick sometimes. You're not in trouble, you did not do anything wrong." ;-; I needed to hear that apparently.

[JouelleBrick]

Not a foster parent, but as a middle school teacher this is SO helpful for knowing what some of my students could be living.

[Fuzzywidgetsam]

My son and I are both autistic, It is KEY for us and people like us to have the doctor/nurse ANYONE touching us to explain what is going to happen before it does.

[NaS]

Telling them they’re not a burden is SO important. My husband’s mom, my mother in law is a great mom but she definitely believed in tough love for her kids. My husband told me that he still had to go to school and was scolded if his mom was called to pick him up early. He still was expected to do chores and eat dinner with the family. He had to get his own cold meds etc. out of the medicine cabinet. He was never given special drinks or made soup when sick. My mom was the opposite… so when he got really sick for the first time, I made him rest, I brought him soup, drinks, meds in bed. He had to learn when I got sick I did expect to be able to rest and although I didn’t expect him to wait on me, it was nice when he brought me soup and some water too. Now I coddle my sick babies, and my husband helps me take care of them.