No Contact: Watch This if You're Barely Hanging On | Coach Ken

No Contact can be one of the hardest things to do following a painful breakup. The combination of fear telling you to act now in order to "save the relationship" or to find another way to reach out and remind them of the love you shared not too long ago can feel overwhelming. After all "fighting to save your relationship" sounds like the right things to do. Logic and fear make it seem like doing nothing is only allowing valuable time and space to grow and push them further from you. The truth is chasing someone who doesn't make the choice to be with you doesn't project strength or loyalty or prove the depth of love as much as it accidentally makes you seem desperate, clingy, co-dependent or even weak in some cases - but the pain can compel you to do something even if you know there is only a slight chance of it successfully pulling them back to you. This video is for people in no contact but tempted to reach out, temped to give up, but still very much in love and hoping for a way to get one more chance with the person they lost. Take a deep breath. Understand the best way to win someone back is in many ways identical to the path to get over them. Remind yourself that the key to triggering re-examination of you and re-attraction towards you is you projecting more strength than loyalty, more value than pain, and more purpose than having them be the center of your world.

[GordonPavilion]

The moment you tap “send”,

you will regret it.

[GordonPavilion]

You didn’t need them, before you met them.

You will be ok.

[nikm]

16:11 - Every day you’ve spent in no contact is a day where you proved you’re strong enough to live without them.

[enice]

This is the clearest explanation I’ve heard of no contact. No contact has the BYPRODUCT of having them come back. The main benefit of no contact is to regain your sense of worth. Keep strong.

[donnaritch]

Im 65 years old. Never had this mess when I was young and dating. You met someone, you fell in love, you got married and that was it. No ghosting, no, no contact. No guess work

[ksono]

Me and my girl are back together, and to behonest, I'm glad that the break up did happen because our relationship is way better and way healthier now. Doing no contact and truly working on yourself actually does work. Listen to this Man, he knows what he is talking about. If you want the chance of getting your ex back, leave her or him the hell alone and focus on yourself...

[LRSB]

*NOBODY* on this platform has broke this down so PERFECTLY !!!!

[Will-nqcn]

We suffer more in our minds than we do in real life. It hurts. Amd it's ridiculously exhausting. Rejection hurts. It hurts excruciatingly. It's difficult to be logical. If they don't want to be with you you're in love with what you wish and dreamed they would be and who they're showing you who they actually are. It's horrible going through heartbreak and I'm hoping the best for everyone else that's going through it. Be kind to yourself during this period. Take it easy

[gardeniabee]

I thought I was in love, but the inconsistent behavior showed me I was caught in unhealthy relationship with someone with fluctuating moods. The frequent pain burned the love out of me!

[operationgetthugs]

No contact shows them you're a boss.

[johncieclark]

I really appreciate that he recognizes that when going through a break up you have little-to-no motivation. I get so annoyed when other coaches say do this do that. Well it’s hard to do anything when you’re depressed.

[Zemohc]

If strength is born from heart break. Then mountains I can move.

[Lostagain]

She reached out after a few weeks, just to say hi and make sure everything was going ok with myself and my kids. It took me a lot to not overthink the message. I kept the reply short, simple, and respectful. We wished each other a happy weekend and I haven't heard from her again since and its been a further few weeks later. It's hard not to reach out, but I truly feel that she is now gone. Im struggling with that. No contact is really hard, but I know I'll only be hurting myself if i ever reached out. My struggle is with letting her go from my my mind and my heart so i can move on. I wish everybody here the best.

[BellGzz]

Self reminder of one’s own worth, whether they return or not. Know your own worth. In the end if, they don’t return, it’s their loss, not yours.

[kimberly]

Six months… It’s been hard…but I can finally say I’ve let go…

[MrValrow]

Thank you, Ken.
Don't chase, don't beg, don't contact first. In a relationship the person that cares the least, hold the most power. You have to be willing to walk away. Remember you got her, you can do better.

[alexaraiza]

“If they don’t miss you enough to just send you a simple little text to reach out to you, they don’t miss you enough to stick even if they did come back.” That last line did it for me. Thank you.😊

[tyler_bee]

Ken is absolutely right. I started no contact focused on it bringing back my ex. I worked on myself but the majority of my motivation was for it to being my ex back. I was too focused on her that I drove myself crazy and broke it after 5 weeks. I didn’t pour out my emotions and I did get a warm response once, and then I was left on delivered. For some reason after breaking no contact, I became so focused on doing things for me and getting me back that this time around I’m actually starting to become optimistic about my future. I stoped focusing on my ex and stoped going on social media as much. I’m back in no contact and now my mindset is right. If I’m going to get her back I’m truly giving myself the best shot this time around as I’ve transformed myself and leveled up. I won’t take my ex back if they haven’t changed themselves, because I have and I can now be with someone even better.

[katharden]

Every day you did nothing (to reach out) you demonstrated strength and realize you don't need them to survive.

[embracingchange]

After 5 months of breakup and not only did he come back he moved in with me!!! But in the following 9 months of living together I saw what God was trying to protect me from in the first place. I ended the relationship 3 months ago and haven’t looked back. Best choice ever to have walked away.