The Key To Dating An Avoidant Woman

Talking points: Avoidant Women, Relationship Communication, Secure Attachments

What drives some women to emotionally withdraw in relationships, and how can we bridge the gap to create deeper connections? This episode unravels the roots of avoidant attachment in women and provides actionable advice for both partners to foster secure, loving relationships. Discover how early life experiences shape self-protective behaviors and learn why these women are not broken but have developed strategies to safeguard their emotions. For men, understanding and navigating these complexities means steering clear of the savior complex and instead, building a genuine, secure bond.

But understanding is only half the battle. We also dive into the intricacies of effective communication with avoidant partners. Uncover three transformative strategies that help create an environment of trust and openness: taking up more emotional space, expressing gratitude over criticism, and setting clear expectations. By leaning into these methods, you can turn potential conflicts into opportunities for closeness and mutual understanding. Tune in to master the art of incremental need-sharing and learn how to shift from self-protection to relational connection, making your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.

HIGHLIGHTS
(00:00) Dating Avoidant Women
(10:41) Building Healthy Relationship Communication
(21:05) Effective Communication With Avoidant Partners

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⚡️ WHO IS CONNOR BEATON & MANTALKS?
Welcome to the ManTalks YouTube channel. I’m Connor Beaton, and my mission is to help men break through the barriers holding them back.
Whether it’s in your relationships, your career, or your mental health, this channel is dedicated to giving you the tools, conversations, and insights you need to step into the man you’re meant to be.
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#AvoidantWomen, #RelationshipCommunication, #SecureAttachments, #EmotionalSpace, #ProductiveConflict, #Dating, #Self-Protection, #Vulnerability, #Gratitude, #ClearExpectations, #Savior-OrientedMen, #Damaged, #EarlyLifeExperiences, #ChallengingRelationships, #Fathers, #EmotionalDisconnection, #SexualDisconnection, #NurturingRelationships, #InternalStories, #IncrementalSharing, #Non-ThreateningRequests, #RelationalConnection, #AvoidingConflict, #Openness, #InternalReality, #StableEnvironment, #Trust, #SupportiveRelationship

[philipramsden]

Can confirm. The dance is addicting. The trick is to stay about one step behind her and stay present in the moment. If you pour everything into her you're going to find yourself in a world of hurt.

[StrnGuy]

I have made major progress repairing my relationship with a fearful avoidant/bpd partner. I can COMPLETELY vouch for the tips in this video. Very solid.

Do not chase her. Do not try to fix her. Let her have space. Tell her you’re there for when she wants to come to you.

I am anxious, and I was just leaning in, leaning in, leaning in. Why cant I solve this problem???? If that’s what you’re doing—do the opposite. And if that makes her nervous, you can just tell her: Look, I can tell that you need your space sometimes. I’m always here for you. I’m gonna give you that space. Come to me when you want or need to.

[MonessaLeigh]

One tool that helps me is assuming positive intent. I give my man the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t intend to cause me harm. When I notice uncomfortable feelings, it’s my responsibility to identify the need and make the request. For example, he was about to leave for a month-long trip. It took a bit of courage just to ask that he ‘drop me a line if you have time.’ He confirmed he would. Once a week, he’d touch base and send me photos of his trip. It made me feel very cared for and trust that we could have time apart and still be securely attached.

[wolfgangschanner]

Well, I'm married to an avoidant woman, while I'm an anxious man, and when I watched this video I saw all that's happening in our lives. Everything you said is true. And I will watch this video more times to enable myself to put it all into practice.

[victorivri]

You've described my 10 year relationship, which felt like a hundred years. Not worth it to invest in this. I tear up now whenever a girl I'm dating is emotionally or physically expressive and giving, like this is something I knew was possible, and I needed it really badly. Let the avoidant do most of the work, and want to actually heal.

[christopherkusek]

If you don't need to be in the relationship (kids, dogs, cats...) find a different partner if you are interested in a loving relationship. You are worth more, and have more important things to do, than dealing with her crap. Not toxic, just honesty.

[StacyA]

I am an avoidant woman and this was very helpful for me.

[Kv-pkst]

Yeah this is all a wonderful idea. The part that's not being mentioned is often the avoidant doesn't have enough self-awareness to be able to even address this

[SanctifiedLady]

This is great advice for women who are aware of their traumas, wounds, and have started a lot of the work on her own. ❤

[TarotToTheTruth]

Thank you for talking about this. I am an avoidant woman and I continuously attract men who not only want to save me, but are so people pleasing. They try to only do things they think I would enjoy. Usually they choose wrong because it takes a long time to get to know an avoidant woman. I become disheartened with their inauthentic approach, this becomes a vicious cycle. I’m trying to heal myself outside of a relationship because of the severe anxiety. I’ve probably always had a tendency towards avoidance, but now I’m a widow and I’m not eager to love someone that I could lose.
If an avoidant woman tells you she’s not dating, believe her. Do not try to change her mind.

[rachelworthing]

This is great advice. I'm an avoidant woman, realized it and have been trying to heal for about 2.5 years now. I'm now in a committed relationship, 1 year in, and we live together. Healing takes time and a lot of uncomfortable work, but its totally possible and worth it. I'm not 100% and will still find myself falling into avoidant thoughts and tendencies, but I've come soooo far.

My man has been the biggest part of my healing. Moving into someone else's space, allowing them to support me, and sharing my feelings has been such a challenge but so transformative. I always have had such a fear of being a burden, physically and/or emotionally. My BF also made it clear to me what he expects, and also that I can mess up and that he's not going to leave me for it. I think a lot of avoidant people fear that if we share our feelings we will be burdensome to our partner and it may be taken wrong and then we will be rejected or not loved because of it.

[maaikevermoen]

Yes, a woman can be avoidantly attached. So often men are categorised as avoidant and women as anxious. So glad that you aknowledge that women can be avoidant. Not broken, just adapted.

[RobbZombie]

Too late bro we broke up 2 days ago. I tried so hard, but she only pull away further. Im tired even tho i love her. I hope she can heal some day. Because no matter how much i offered to, she is to inastable, it sad tbh. Thank you for the video

[robertdeskoski]

Advice like this doesn't work because you can't regulate someone else's nervous system for them. And you can keep giving them space until the cows come home, but there are many, many anecdotes of relationships becoming untenable because one partner wants to tsee the other once a month or every two months, which isn't really a relationship.

Saying, "Give them more space and let them come to you when they want!" is like saying "Btw, don't have any expectations that anything will happen". You're not 'getting better' by being fine with that behaviour.

[Openhearted]

This is so comforting as an avoidant woman. I realized that I have had the pattern of attempting repair in many relationships, family, friends and dating but was dismissed or shut down by them despite my efforts to open up. I wish I’d had this kind of counselling /education in middle and high school. What a difference in managing my expectations and understanding/communicating my needs in slightly different ways. Despite the woes of social media and its impact on relationship matters, I am so grateful for free access to this solid information on the internet. Thank you!!!!❤

[WhoIsAmaze]

Yeah i got stuck in that dance, she ended up blocking me because i couldnt comprehend what she was doing. It seemed very shallow and she just wanted me to give up. She then turned to off putting strategies which didnt work. I love this girl. She blocked me and there’s nothing i can do but learn and get better. I just wish shes doing what in doing. Self development……

[sixfootseen]

I dated an avoidant woman earlier this year, and I cracked the code. I walked away.

[theDork]

Today my avoidant lady friend said I need to figure out what I want in the relationship…I needed this video it’s actually helping me to get a better sense of what I want to say and how.
Thank you 🙏

[majorbalrah]

What I've learned from dealing with this issue with my wife is that it's like communicating with someone that has the emotional intelligence of a child. Tiptoeing and being extremely careful with your tone and the way you phrase your sentences is vital, and it's exhausting. When they fall back into this mode, everything is considered an attack. Then it's shut down, deflect, blame, etc. Your pointers are much appreciated and on point, but I could never show her this video. Me merely mentioning watching this with her with an open mind would send her into a triggered fidgety shutdown state. I've just adapted to taking it like a man and trudging forward for our kids.

[CoachAJ]

Correction - Avoidants are indeed damaged. The behaviors that they exhibit is lacking in basic human decency especially when they go into discard. Until they do the self work and heal enough, they have zero reason to be in a relationship. Ask any avoidant - if they're honest, they will admit to leaving a trail of damaged victims in their wake. If you're dating someone and discover they are an avoidant, run far and fast before they hook you during the love bombing phase.