Top 10 Signs You Have A Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style AKA Disorganized Attachment Style

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Advanced Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style Course: Your Guide to Thrive in the 6 Stages of a Relationship

Healthy and Passionate Relationships after Emotional Pain (Re-Programming the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style)

In this video, I talk about 10 common signs to look out in yourself or someone you know who may be a fearful avoidant

Do you or someone you know struggle with boundaries or experience a strong sense of guilt or shame? What are some telltale signs of a fearful avoidant style you can think of?

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:47 - Sign #1: Flip-Flopping Between Fear of Abandonment and Commitment
00:04:38 - Sign #2: Actively Pushing Away
00:05:19 - Sign #3: Jump to Worst-Case Conclusions
00:07:24 - Sign #4: Terrified of Feeling Helpless
00:08:49 - Sign #5: Tend to Be Highly Empathetic
00:11:12 - Sign #6: Struggle with Boundaries
00:12:21 - Sign #7: Difficulty Regulating Emotion
00:13:35 - 7-Day Free Trial: Advanced FA Relationship Course
00:15:01 - Sign #8: May Seem Vulnerable without Actually Sharing
00:17:10 - Sign #9: Frequently Experience Guilt and Shame
00:17:50 - Sign #10: Strong Activation-Deactivation
00:18:30 - Conclusion

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#FearfulAvoidantAttachment #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #DisorganizedAttachment #FearfulAvoidantCourse

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[MsGuitars]

When I first came across this channel 4/5 years ago I was a textbook fearful avoidant. I had two alcoholic parents growing up (dad and step dad) and my mother was strongly codependent. I was already on the way to being secure because of therapy. However I can now truly say I am mostly securely attached because of Thais and Personal development school. I have developed really fulfilling friendships and relationships because of the knowledge shared, and I feel more regulated, calm and fulfilled than I have ever felt in my life before. To anyone reading this thinking fearful avoidant attachment can’t be healed; pleased don’t think that. There is a place on the other side, and once you’re there your life can be more fulfilling, meaningful and connected than maybe someone without any trauma has ever felt. Not to advertise here but Thais has done an amazing job. Thank you so much you compassionate powerwoman! And to all fearful avoidants still healing: there is a life waiting for you, more wonderful than you could have ever imagined

[diegomonteirobatera]

"I need others to be OK, so I can be OK." This hit me hard!

[ambivalent]

1. Flip flopping / me : CPTSD ✔
2. Active / deactivating ✔
3. Conclusion jumping / mind reading, emotional hypervigilance ✔
4. Fear of being out of control, emotional dysregulation ✔
5. Highly empathetic and sympathetic towards others ✔ ( possibly codependent? )
6. Struggles with boundaries ✔ Can be hostile and then set a firm one
7. Strong emotions, intense ( hurt, anger betrayal ) All or nothing thinking struggles with
8. Polarity with sharing, show surface vulnerability, with objective to connect.
9. Struggling with Guilt and shame
10. Strong active and deactivate swings ✔

[nuez]

That's me . When im single i feel safe and miss a partner, but a partner triggers me like hell and its too confronting and overwhelming all that i withdraw or chase, too emotional (anxious). When I'm single, I'm so self-reliant i dont even depend emotionally on others, I'm detached, hyper focused on career. What a coaster roller of emotions

[AnitaSoler]

Honestly something as simple as having one super affectionate parent and one super unemotional unaffectionate parent. Depending on the environment it can feed off itself

[michaelada]

"I need everyone to be ok so that i can also be ok" trueer words have never been spoken about me

[teejay]

I always thought I was anxious preoccupied because I was, well, so anxious. However, thanks to this channel, I began to realise it was fear more than anxiety (and there’s a big difference), and in some situations, I was avoidant. I never understood that before (in fact, I would probably have denied it).

[DayonDay]

I am so glad that you brought up that having a very intense adult relationship can truly change you to your core.

[jennhawkins]

I think I was this, but I feel God has healed so much of this in me, so though I can understand and relate I have learned to cope really well…which is exciting for me to think I’ve grown in this!

[MybabyboyIra]

I want to cry! 😭😭 I'm today years old to know I'm an FA! You hit me 🎯!! 😭😭

[djenning]

Describes me well, especially when I’m in the first 6 months of a new relationship. Eventually I sort myself out and become more secure, but I do see those underlying dynamics at play in myself, which I recognize and try to overcome.

[SalivatingSteve]

I’ve been watching your videos the past 2 years and I’m pretty sure I’m Fearful Avoidant. I have a lifelong ADHD diagnosis so I think the “disorganized” attachment label is very appropriate for me. I’ve always struggled with making and keeping friends. Lots of social anxiety recently recently after being told to stay home and “socially distance” from other people the last 3 years! I’m definitely afraid to ask for help sometimes and like to have control over the situation, sort of like “if nobody else can do it, I have to do it myself”

[tajcin.]

The flip flopping is so painful. I was really hoping my ex and me would be able to try again as I had been doing a lot of work. We met a couple of days ago and decided to give it another go. Now, here I am, fearing trapped and wanting to pull away. Its painful for the other person, and its painful for the FA as you almost don't know what you feel or want.

[blackwidow]

Using the alcoholic parent analogy is good, but as a member of a FA group, most have one parent who is emotionally unavailable and withhold or deny affection, approval, and positive regard leaves their children with unresolved emotions themselves. If the parent is very critical, that just makes the problem. Mom didn't help matters as she is codependent. While his behavior would be considered emotionally abuse now. My father was not a bad man. He was very responsible and always put is family first, but you never knew who you were going to get from one day to the next (regular dad or critical dad). Unfortunately, emotionally unavailable fathers often come from generations of fathers who are the same. They are raising their children just as they were and are "making" FA children who fear rejection, abandonment, low self esteem and in some cases depression. My AP ruled me in my 20s and 30's. I was looking for love from all the wrong people. A AP didn't stand a chance and secures wouldn't last long. Put 999 AP and secure men in a room and 1 DA, I will find that DA everytime. Now that I'm older with two divorces. I have never been in a relationship or marriage that has lasted more than five years. I have become perfectly happy in being alone.

[riverd]

im an FA currently in a rel with a person who is secure attached...its unlike any rel ive ever had...im not in a constant state of triggered and its like a miracle...i feel so calm and even emotionally...i def swing from anxious to avoidant..i like being in my avoidant state much better than anxious..now i just try to keep myself from self sabotage and i notice when im experiencing black and white thinking and i stop myself from going down the neg hole..yr vids are awesome..thanks Thais

[reverendgirl]

I'm going to have to rewatch this, like, 30 seconds at a time and write down literally every point you make because every second of this is gold. Thank you thank you thank you.

[TarkMcCoy]

Spot on, as usual. You've got to quit spying on me for material!

[Yo-crol]

It's a breath of fresh air to relate that you were also FA. I've been watching video after video of yours as a crash course into learning about how to help myself and my partner and I have found you so verbose, with each sentence elaborating exactly how I feel in detail. You are making a lifetime of sense for me thank you so much for the work and time it took to lay this information out in such a digestible way.

[cloudslady]

I appreciate you mentioning Fa's who became Fa after an abusive relationship....i'd love to know the difference between the normal fa who was fa since their childhood and the ones who changed attachment later on...cause i was ap in my childhood then later on i became fearful avoidant...and my Fa sister has always been Fa...we are completely different in the way we relate to people even though both of us have the same attachment style....

[LavenderHazelwood]

Thank you. This has really helped confirm what I thought was going on. I did think that I had an anxious attachment for awhile but this year someone mentioned I was probably disorganized because I flip-flop attachment style from one relationship to another. Only in the last month have I understood that dis-organized is fearful avoidant. Now I'm doing the research on FA and this video was really helpful in clarifying it for me. Again, thank you.