Top 10 Signs You Have A Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style | Thais Gibson & Dismissive Avoidants

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Healthy and Secure Relationships with/for the Emotionally Unavailable Person (Dismissive Avoidant Re-programming Course)

In this video, I talk about 10 signs of the dismissive avoidant attachment style.

Do you or someone you know struggle with a healthy sense of interdependence or lose interest suddenly? What are some other signs of the dismissive avoidant attachment style?

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:30 - Sign #1: Afraid of Being Vulnerable
00:03:17 - Sign #2: Practise Escape Strategies
00:07:31 - Sign #3: Agreeable In Order to Avoid Conflict
00:08:44 - Sign #4: Sensitive to Self-Criticism and Shame
00:11:18 - 7-Day Free Trial: Dismissive Avoidant Reprogramming Course
00:11:42 - Sign #5: Low Emotional Bandwidth
00:13:18 - Sign #6: Feel Misunderstood / Don’t Communicate Needs
00:16:15 - Sign #7: Lack of Healthy Interdependence
00:19:30 - Sign #8: Want Low Effort Relationships without Conflict
00:21:04 - Sign #9: May Lose Feelings Suddenly
00:22:39 - Sign #10: Struggle With Belief They Are Not Enough
00:24:41 - Conclusion

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// Social Media Links //

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#DismissiveAvoidants #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #SelfCriticism #UnmetNeeds

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[americanexpat]

Having been involved with a DA recently, I can relate to virtually everything Thais said. What I watched happen is that the more you get involved with them, the more space they need. You can just see them ‘creating distance’. I’m secure and it’s totally the opposite of what I would do. I remember one time in particular, where we really bonded and she was truly emotionally turned on, then not too long after that, she totally checked out. As somebody once said, the really sad thing is that they disappear the better your relationship becomes. For me, I recognized the pattern early and diplomatically confronted her stating my needs. As I anticipated, she bailed. Truly sad that a decent person will likely spend the rest of her life in a vicious cycle.

But, your first responsibility is to yourself. You can’t solve other people’s problems. You can bring the horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.

[noahhh]

Thais is right that attachment styles are penetrating the popular discourse, but they’re not always discussed with as much nuance or perspective as she provides. Too often I see attachment theory used lazily, to pigeonhole people or assign superficial labels to them, without the intellectual rigor found in these videos. I’m saying this as a DA who winces when I read harsh or facile commentary on the subject online. So big thanks to PDS not only for teaching how deep seated and pervasive attachment is in all of our psychological make ups, but also for modeling what compassionate understanding looks like.

[edgreen]

1) escapism
2) avoid feelings
3) distraction as in #1
4) not knowing their needs, no emotional connection with parents or caregiver; no physical connection.
5) feel unsafe don't trust.
6) I am not enough
7) flight into fantasy ( fantasy person is perfect)
8) hate conflict
9) my partner should be available to me but I shouldn't have to compromise
10) at the extreme may receive diagnosis of Npd.

[siriusakari]

I was seeing someone I believe to be a dismissive avoidant for the past 3 months and I ended things a few days ago. I have never dated a man that made me feel so anxious and confused in my life. I couldn't tell if he liked me or not, it felt like he was playing mind games and whenever I tried to open up and express my feelings about us he would disappear for days and then pop up like nothing happened. I sent him a happy birthday voice note and he didn't even say thank you he just talked about work. When I pulled away he would text me asking me why I was so quiet. Fortunately we never slept together so it was easy for me to keep a clear head in whatever it was we were having. I really did like him but his energy was off and I had to let go. And now that I have stopped talking to him I feel so much happier. The anxiety and confusion is gone. Through this channel I discovered I am an AP but I have been fortunate enough to be with secure attached partners before. I think this kinda helped me realize this guy I was dating was not good for me.

[LiminalDrag]

My bully/mother used to call me "dismissive, " among other things, when I shut down during her tirades of abuse. I grey rocked her to avoid setting her off, and I avoided her as much as possible. Amazing insight from the bully herself😄
I am now extremely dissmissive avoidant with a side of fearful. Your videos are so helpful❤.

[TheCoffeeCat]

The DA is a really beautiful mirage. As soon as you get closer... poof

[nyronehodge]

Thais, this is by far the best content you have provided on the dismissive avoidant. You have described my ex wife to the letter in this short video. I had so much anger towards her in the beginning when she filed for divorce without even talking to me first, but after watching your videos on the dismissive avoidant I now only feel pity for her because she has no idea that she has an avoidant attachment style. You have helped me tremendously and I am grateful to you ❤ 🙏 because now I can move on in peace without the need for closure and understanding from her perspective. Keep providing content. I will certainly be watching.

[KatAdVictoriam]

It's tough to become self-aware but thank you Thais for your videos, because I am learning more about being a DA and how I can be a better wife and parent in spite of that being my attachment style (which I know is supposed to be kind of the worst one from comments on DA vids). The core wound of shame/being defective is 100% and it's caused me many problems in my 15-year marriage when I've misinterpreted things as criticism or an argument when they weren't meant that way, but I was so on guard all the time. I've had to learn to bring my wall down and allow myself to feel intimacy and vulnerability and not pull back and disconnect and detach, which seems to be my default with people, even my own family. I've had to learn how to be a better communicator, that's been such a huge thing. It's a long and tough process to reprogram and undo all of these things but I'm trying. Again, your videos are so helpful.

[widowgirl]

As a dismissive-avoidant, thanks for the analysis 👍

[enidmolko]

Thanks for the video. As a dismissive avoidant now I get why I'm the way I'm. My parents are wonderful people, but growing up it was impossible to talk to them. Anytime I try to talk to them about anything they misunderstood me, or didnt help me at all. So since I was a child I learnt that I was alone with my problems. So I learn to lie or avoid talking to them about what I was going through as it was easier. Im a cool dude, but everytime I meet a new person I have this irrational fear that once they get to know me theyll find something wrong with me and leave. So I leave first.

[BaseballDadAz]

Gosh, you just lifted a whole layer of fog. I had NO idea my ex gf whom i truly loved was a DA. You’ve explained every mystery that I could never understand!!! Seems it’s too late now though. 🙏🏻

[blueaqua]

I just want to put it out there I enjoy these longer length videos :D

[SinaLaJuanaLewis]

I don't have patience to deal with this issue. I have my own problems... So they can stay dismissive 🤦🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♀️

[joycejones]

18 years with a DA, ghosted recently, now I am in no contact; conflict arose when I brought up my need for more communication. I also acknowledged to him that I recognize his giving of his time, gifts, and support is appreciated. I yearned for more, and I am so disappointed that all our years as friends and lovers is dust.

[Visionsofyvonne]

My husband really stuck out all my DA behavior and married me. I’m so blessed. I thought the way I was treating him was natural and normal. I was protecting myself. I recognize now the flaws in what I was doing. Thanks for this video. Healing and relearning is in order.

[roshalllambert]

This is a nice update to her old video of 40 traits of each attachment style!!

[AthenaIsabella]

I used to think I was FA but now I see this is me. Thank you for all you do!

[melaniecascante]

Thanks for this video I just learned I'm a DA... I hope I can work through this

[anniehope]

Oh wow! It is so me to always have some kind of sound on! I fall asleep with the TV on, I always listen to podcasts. I can't do anything without a podcast on. Music has never done it for me, and now I know why: Music can trigger emotions. I rather listen to someone talk about sports or history or anything else I find interesting. It occupies my mind without much emotion.
Thanks for this insight! I know I have a (dismissive) avoidant attachment style, but I never thought my 'not being able to do anything without a podcast on' was part of it. I always thought it was a symptom of ADD.

[cavelleardiel]

My mom who is 86 still has to sleep with the tv or the radio on. I am dating a DA who disappears into movies even if he has seen them multiple times. Also, he works a lot.