Things Paramedics Say

[bloodysimile]

When there a life or death situation, everyone volunteers.
When asking who going to do the report; everyone becomes a master of the disappearing act.

[GhostBear]

Want to freak out a patient? Hook them up to the monitor and say "Huh, never seen it do that before..."

[tcontreras]

Oh you don’t want to go to the hospital? “Okay, sign here please. Press hard there’s two copies.”

[Jay-lnco]

"I'm not really a doctor, I'm a medic."
"What's the difference?"
"Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable while they die."

[SheepdogSmokey]

"What am I doing with my life?" I say this, daily, MULTIPLE TIMES, as I work end user IT support.

[anthonyromero]

The Flight Medic One Had Me Rolling!!!!

[xingyuzhao]

"And when ze patient woke up, his *skeleton* was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!"
-The Medic

[kycone]

Oh crap. I use that “drop people” line all the time 😂

[coover]

One of my favourites- "A bit of pain never hurt anybody". Greetings from Australia.

[keith]

Not a paramedic, but the "You don't want to go to the hospital? Okay. (YES!)" is a regular part of my vocabulary, especially when dealing with some of the regulars I have to.

[charlesshelton]

Me (baby EMT): *slipping away into the hospital's EMS lounge to grab some powerade and prepackaged sandwiches

Paramedic/FTO: *Giving report to the charge nurse and fixing the PCR that I jacked up beyond any conceivable notion of repair while some old guy in the hallway throws a clot and strokes out

[Dawnslight]

And the classic "This isnt going to hurt" When It's absolutely gonna hurt

[jbrubin]

“Mom, just cause I’m a medic doesn’t mean…” Yep, that’s what my grandmother felt about her son and everyone he worked with.
Made worse by the fact she could just stand in her backyard yard and yell. The house was one street over. She’d place dinner orders that way.
She felt that after having generations of significant others in our family having to take the real hit that comes with marrying a first responder, she was owed.
(Shorthand- Plans? Those don’t exist anymore. The bulk of your life will become dependent upon how much stupid your community has planned that day.)
So she treated ‘her boys’ place of work like it was the general store. If she was out of something, she’d yell, and some poor rook was making a run. 🤷‍♀️🚨

[Dream]

"Oh, you don't want to go to hospital? So you have chosen the way of pain, welcome to the thunderdome."

[saintsinningsword]

I used the EMT line before and got dropped off at an Arby's.

[MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

Paramedics hate when you remind them that they are still an EMT. Just an EMT-P.

[Nerdybdirty]

I love it when people sign refusals!🥰 I giddy back to the ambo

[superbananas]

Anyone else look at the Cardiac Monitor and nod in agreement at his "Oh Crap".

[daegan]

As a basic student we have to make report mock ups from clinicals and I for sure am not looking forward to doing the real ones but I guess it’ll be worth it lol

[michaela]

Showed my cousin this, he’s a Paramedic and laughed so hard