11 (more) things you NEVER want to hear a Paramedic say.

If You’re hearing any of these from a Paramedic or EMT in the back of an ambulance, your day might not be going very well…

[SVLOKEE]

Years ago I was in the hospital and the nurse said they were going to move me to ICU. As she was getting me ready she says "sir, are you an organ donor?" .... I couldn't really talk, but in my head I was thinking, that's not a good question to be asked in a hospital.

[chrishenry]

I’m gonna start using that for the pain scale “on a scale of 0-10 how up to date is your will” 😂

[Agaettis]

Personal one:
"How bad is it?"
"Ive seen A LOT worse..."
"Ok but how BAD IS IT"
"You don't need to worry about that"
"THAT WASNT THE QUESTION!"

[mikehancho]

True story about the paramedic not saying anything! I was in a motorcycle accident and I thought my leg was broken, but I had blood coming from my mouth and nose. When I was in the ambulance, I asked the paramedic to take me a specific hospital. He informed me they had to take me to a Level one trauma center. I made the joke saying “Well it ain’t like I’m gonna die.” He just sat there with a stone cold face and said nothing. And I was like “ ummm…right?” And then informed me I had deep bruising on my chest and blood was coming from my nose and mouth which could be a sign of internal bleeding and told me to stop talking. 😂 my whole positive demeanor changed in a second.

[Threnody]

Heard this gem over the radio once:

“This is 14 you might as well bring the ER and meet us halfway”

[ameribeaner]

“That can’t be right. I’ve never seen someone with that low of a blood pressure and still be conscious.” I laughed so hard cause I’ve made a ride like that! I didn’t say that btw but we all thought it.

[notlikely]

I used to work with an ex-army surgeon...who's callsign was "Old Shakey"

He'd finish every patient assessment with his standard

pretty sure you're going to die....

But probably not today
And certainly not from this"

Then as he'd write his orders in the chart

"Well...lets see if we can find a new way to poison some patients today..."

Or

"You know...money may make the world go round....but this (med) will make it spin"

I don't know how he kept his licence...but he sure make those shifts interesting

[andynonymous]

medic: it's ok John, you're going to get through this, you're gonna be ok
patient: thanks but that's not my name, who's John?
Paramedic: I'm John

[GiskardRevenlov]

"OK potato is not a number"
Or lord the flashbacks lmfao

"Ma'am are you feeling any better?"

"Well I yellow blue dog

see....Hey Mike? Wanna drive a bit faster?"

[KOisOK]

A few years back, I fell off a bicycle while wearing a helmet. Ended up at the hospital, and I needed to be transported to neurological ICU at another hospital . While in the ambulance, the paramedics asked the driver how many more minutes till we get there? The driver responded 10 minutes. The paramedic responded, “That’s too long, take the shoulder.” I did not want to hear those words. (But all ended okay 😊)

[smokeeter]

I’ve definitely called my radio report in and asked for “everyone” at the door. 😂

[jackdaft]

In case anyone is confused, "Give him sux" is short for succinylcholine - it's used to paralyze patients when they're put under anaesthesia.

[aboxinspace]

the "low blood pressure but still conscious" person is me every time I go to a hospital & they need to do the routine checks, & they look at me like "how tf are you awake" 😂

[johnharris]

When my brother had kidney stones his BP was up to 200, the rookie Paramedic thought he was having a heart attack, the veteran Paramedic looked at him and said "You have never had a kidney stone have you." Then he pumped my brother full of morphine and his BP came back down.

[baconfluffy]

Actual conversation from when I got a concussion:
Doctor: "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Me: "two"
Doctor: "How about we try that one again?"

[Whitby_Abbeys_Ghost]

True story.
I had a large kidney stone that needed to be removed and during the day of the surgery my doctor came in and marked the area of the stone with a pen on my side. A little while later a couple nurses came in to prepare me for the surgery.
"Did the surgeon come talk to you yet?"
"Yeah, and he already marked my side.". I adjusted my hospital gown to show them.
The nurses laughed. "He must be new! He still marks the patient!". My jaw hung for a moment. Before I knew what I was saying I said, "Just put me under. I don't want to know what happens next."

[BluSpykz]

"Did you say 2mg or 0.2mg ..."
My son had to have 0.5mg of clonidine and his health care worker gave him 5.0mg. He slept for 2 days. An absolute mess that ordeal was.

[Em-ihdu]

Reminds me when my dentist botched a wisdom tooth extraction. It was supposed to be an "easy" case. I wasn't supposed to have to take days off or need meds. As soon as I was sitting after he was done picking out all of the tooth fragments (it exploded), his assistant nervously asked him "Soo.. do we prescribe her anything?" and he replied "Everything" then ran away to lock himself into his office.
I got a few days off work and very fun meds.

[MartienBLY]

I would be more nervous when they say: you're in luck! You are gonna get a helicopter ride!

[briant]

My dad drank, smoked and was way overweight. He went to the doctor and his blood pressure was something like 180/130. (Or maybe it was 240/180.) The doctor about freaked out.

My dad: What's the problem? The gauge goes to 300.

Dad quit drinking and smoking, got his weight down to about 220 and lived to 87.