Painful Emotions - False Guilt

A poorly-trained conscience or “mis-trained” conscience develops in circumstances where adults blame children for their own emotions. This leads children to carry incredible burdens of false guilt. This painful endurance becomes difficult to unpack as we recover from Complex Trauma.

However, once we recognize it for what it is, can become a powerful tool for healing.
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#complextraumaawareness #complextrauma #trauma #childdevelopment #parenting #parents #parenthood #falseguilt #guilt #pain #fyp #fy #timfletcher #addiction #recovery #recoveryispossible

[unveilingtruth]

Yes! Now i walk on eggshells believing I did something wrong ALL the time feeling anxious and scared of people. A long healing journey.

[katpea]

I was a single mom with 3 kids and no child support, I worked long hours and could never get caught up on bills, cleaning laundry etc. I realized my impatience was harming my kids so I changed my habits and would apologize when I would lose my temper and tell them they didn't deserve that treatment just because I was stressed. It helped me to control my emotions so I wouldn't take my frustrations out on my kids. I think giving them sincere apologies helped them to understand I was human and they were not at fault.

[marjutpaech]

A narcissist never takes responsibility for anything.
It's always someone else's fault when something happens ... 💥

[lisaeve]

My mom told me straight up, 'If it weren't for you, our family would be fine!'
So I left that abuse at 16....authorities said after investigating...nope.. it's them!😅

[Cherryhill]

My husband would always say " you make me act this way" "its your fault"

[wordwordful]

This man is Brilliant. His knowlege far outweighs anyone Ive heard. Easy to understand.

[wendybesse]

Showing accountability is showing love & maturity to those who count on you.

[merrylynnallison]

I grew up believing I caused my sister's Bipolar Disorder. I was also blamed for my mothers depression. I was the youngest and was blamed for anything that I have complex P.T.S.D. and at 64 years old I still feel guilty for everything.

[memeoti]

The sad thing is the parents believe what they're saying 😢

[abbykoop]

"They are telling you a lie". Wow. Thanks for that. It was plain enough that I heard it this time.

[susanellis]

You are so correct I saw this with my husband. He was living a double life which we didn't know. When he came home we all were in trouble. The children got the blame and so did I. I wasn't being submissive as a wife. I was never to question his disisions. And when it all hit the fan it was our fault the children and me. Now he's gone from our lives. He has to arrange to see his adult children they don't seek him. But show respect.

[Horseyperson]

I explained to my daughter that my emotional outbursts had nothing to do with her but past experiences. Repeated often. Not sure she believed it.😢

[michaelmontalvo]

Tim Fletcher, you are really the best speaker on complex trauma yet!

[excellentchoices]

Thank you Tim for speaking truth in a crystal clear way . I’m praying for every one of us parents to see this and for all of us to make things right with everyone we have hurt, and may we all learn to say what’s true instead.

Let’s choose to fess up when we mess up and learn genuine healthy ways to deal with our many emotions…

emotions can be very expensive. I’m so grateful we can change if we choose to

[not_building_the_ark]

Once this trauma is fixed, it is good to forgive.

[imxwxhl]

Yes!!! All these years I've been searching for the right words to how I FELT whenever one of my parents TOLD ME THAT I WAS THE REASON THEY WERE SO MISERABLE....ANGRY....DEPRESSED, etc., etc. I couldn't ever understand why they just didn't blame THEMSELVES?!! But you just did! Amen! ❤❤❤

[fjbdqtc]

For much of my life I carried the burden of believing I was responsible for everything that happened to me…if something bad happened, it must be my fault. If relationships break down, it must be my fault. It is a long road back to healing folks but it can be done. Just like a computer can be reprogrammed, so can we reprogram our negative thinking patterns. I am committed to doing that for myself so I can be a happier person. Life is too short to be miserable. 😊

[Illvzion]

They did do this yes, but I am now old enough that I broke that barrier myself, now I just laugh at them whenever they tell me something like that cuz it just sounds so stupid. They also did the ”do it for me” or ”do it to show me how much you love me” which is mind games basically.

[shoshanna]

I've spent my entire life (even when everything is just fine) feeling like I'm in trouble, like there's something that should be fixed immediately. The anxiety has been challenging at times. It's gotten better to "take every thought captive and cast down imaginations".

[ruthsnyder]

God bless you, Tim Fletcher!

Im an extreme codependent who has endured so much abuse that Ive dissociated to staring at my phone thru every waking hour. Thats my entire life now. Wake up. Stare at phone all day. Fall asleep. Repeat.
I stumbled across ur videos and try really hard to watch them but cant concentrate over a minute. These shorts are very helpful.❤