How to Deal with Self-Hatred & Self-Love

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

In this video, I'm talking about how to deal with self-hatred and self-love. I'm trying to help people who struggle with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and fear, regret and self-hatred.

If you're struggling with any of these issues, then this video is for you. I'll discuss how to deal with self-splitting and provide some tips on how to overcome these difficult emotions. I hope that this video can help you feel more connected to yourself and help you start to heal from your struggles.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

[sweetluvgurl]

Usually, I split on others, and then that causes me to split on myself, as well.

[nothingreallymattersanyone]

I can’t afford the therapist I need and this is really helping thank you for making this content.

[anna-rosephipps]

I like how you explain 'splitting'. For years I never realised that's what I was doing, to myself and probably others. If I listen to myself talking, or re-read old diaries, i catch myself doing so even in my choice ofwords, phrases, use of language. It seems like a deeply ingrained habit, to the extent that i never even noticed

[lergoth]

I never thought of it like this, I just figured it was my own insecurities like every other person has, but there was something else that I couldn't explain, it is all so clear now! I don't know how but you always manege to post the exact video I need at the perfect time, I self splitted a couple days ago and didn't know how to explain it to my boyfriend, thanks a lot Dr. Fox 🦊💜

[fairygurl]

Here's to Being Good Enough with Room to Improve 💞

[elevenelevenlife]

I feel like I have the opposite of the 'narcissistic splitting' thought process. It's more like, I start noticing things in my life that are not going my way or at all, and I start getting more and more negative, hating myself and the world, because I can't even get my needs met, or what I want or wish I could have in life. I don't feel good at all when this is happening. If anything, I start getting more irritable and unstable, often needing to medicate (usually food, or anything to relax my mind) to calm myself. I understand that it might be splitting, because it feels like I'm "splitting off from reality", whereas being in touch with reality brings a sense of peace. But, then the same exact thoughts and observations can come up, causing it to happen again. This is often an "I can't take it anymore" moment because of all the mental duress I'm going through, feeling like my life is so awful and unbearable to live with this weight. I'm doing the best I can with what I know I can and my own limits, and nothing or very little seems to happen in my life, which gets me mad and upset, because I'm trying to do better, I'm trying to have more with my life. Feeling constantly rejected, ignored, or like the world/universe doesn't care about me, is a definite trigger for these episodes. When I'm in the throws of it, it can be difficult to correct course and convince myself, in some way, my life isn't as bad as I'm thinking it is... but again, that doesn't seem to last long at all, maybe a day or two at most. Most troublesome, is I haven't always been this way.... and I feel like I've lost my former self.

[darkskill]

Thank you so much for doing this stream. I do this all the time

[sarahs]

I'm DEFINITELY going to do the assignment you're providing for this. I have AWFUL PTSD. I get triggered about something toward me and then the DBT is right there to amplify it. That's HARD to deal with! I still go to work but there are times when I HAVE to talk myself into going and not isolating. It's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with so far this year. Thank you a million times over!

[milarosenrot]

I split so much that it’s exhausting. I’m self aware now thanks to therapy then I’m getting better but everyday I wake up different is draining. I hope I can fully heal on day

[kikie]

Thank you for discussing this topic...it's been very helpful

[SquirrellyMom]

Yes!! It really does feel better to "surrender" to the extreme. It's like standing on a see/saw. It's way easier to slide to one end or the other. Standing in the middle with a foot on either side is so much more work.

[scarybeenana]

You literally cover of the topics I have never had answers to or even thought about or really needed to hear, thank you!

[jameslutz]

I have a tendency to split on myself almost constantly, and then take it out on others when I feel less than.
When you said "healthy relationships never fight - that's a split" it hit hard. That was my ideation, and I remember in the beginning of my last relationship saying that to her - "we'll never fight". God, I wish I knew all of this before

[_fksgvn]

A few months ago, I was thinking about this and realized I think had split myself a long time ago. I made myself the villain in my own story. I didn't know if that was really a thing that can happen but apparently I was right and I did. Now to figure out how to change that.

[ekkolocation]

What do I do, if I split both ways? Sometimes I love myself, and other times I hate everything I am...

[sarahs]

I'm dealing with this at this very momennt, Not a coincidence I decided to catch up with everything now! Yes, self hatred then doing things for myself when there's self-love. RIGHT - you can't run from yourself. That's the purpose of referring back to my DBT book of my therapy full courses. Thank you for making this!

[Shortkonner]

I do say negative things to myself despite knowing I shouldn't.

[kellimihalic]

Once again Dr Fox you hit the nail in the head! Nail to my head. You couldn't have made it any clearer or more true, you end up isolated.

[NathianOfTheNerds]

I love and sometimes hate your channel. I have been officially diagnosed bpd, but i wasn't diagnosed with it till i broke down in college, and it made my life hell a lot of time from about 13 to the age i am now and im over 30. Affected my grades and family my jobs. There are a lot of arguments fighting hate, even though i love my family and my friends.Your channel has given me a lot of great tools. I worry people will use your channel to self disagnose a condition they dont have and just fake all the symptons for something like attention. Then we end with more people like tiks and roses. Bpd has been one of the hardest things iv always lived with. Some days, it's like im in bliss, then boom from a couple of mins or a day. it's the exact opposite. Sorry to rant.

[carmelittanewby]

Thanks so much for this information. I never new their was a word for this behavior. 3 years of Hard Times. I finally gave in to some medicine & after a month, the shitty committee volume has turned down
✨🙏✨