Why Do I Hate Myself?

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[pomegranatemistress]

Talking to people seems to trigger my self-loathing. I feel like with everything I say I make myself look stupid. And when I talk to people that bitterness and sadness towards myself seeps through which makes me feel worse.

[maggiebaughman]

for me, the hardest part about trying to find a positive view is feeling guilty because I let myself feel good. Is that normal?

[markabraham]

I feel like I was put into this body like it's some kind of sick joke. I honestly don't know how I've last this long.

[RuN]

Ive never felt like I belonged. Ive never felt like anyone gave a shit about me. Even when I was in relationships, I always thought I had to keep their interest. I never thought anyone truly wanted me. Ive always felt like just wanting to die and escape, but something holds me back from killing myself. So this world is like a prison cell, and Im trapped with everyone who gives less fucks about me than I already dont. Well time to go to work. The irony is that Im a CSA.

[godisgracious]

I feel self hatred much worse when I'm around people. People are my trigger, because I don't know how to have relationships. Any relationship I have or ever had was not normal.
I hate myself for not being interesting and provide others some happiness and joy just by being around and being Me. That's just not who I am. And lately I feel so guilty that I just disappeared.
I don't want to exist and to just take from people and annoy, I want to feel good on my own, but it's so hard, it's just not going to go away. I cope by staying isolated.
I may be really flawed as a person for this, but I know how a good relationship should be like, I just can't do it.
As I get older, I keep losing people and as of now I have no one just family. It's getting real dark, and sad, and harder to work through

[Altermyego-]

Self loathing. I can't stand who I've become, how I act (or fail to act/take action) I am so stuck- I wish I could think positively as I used to, I used to have goals- dreams- plans- feelings that I will prevail- now it's "apathy" I see no future- there's just nothing there. I need help.

[kelsmur]

I've dealt with some self-hatred before, and I've noticed it helps to take baby steps. Don't try to make yourself love yourself right away. If you dislike who you are, try to focus on the things you are good at, even if that's just "I have good intentions" or "I don't mean to be a jerk on purpose." Start with stuff like that. At least you're not mean to be mean. And then when you've convinced yourself about that, start thinking more like "well I'm not that bad, I have friends that like me, so I guess I'm just kinda neutral." I'm not a bad person, but I'm not really a good person either. And then when that becomes your truth, move on to "I can improve some things in my life and in others lives." And so on until you've trained your brain to think more positively. Along the way, you might even notice some problematic behaviors on your part that you might fix, in order to become a better person. And when you aren't in that negative mindset, you can notice these behaviors and say "Okay, so I need to do some work on myself" instead of "I'm just terrible anyways who cares?"

[SalvatoreEscoti]

The circumstances of this very, very competetive life dont allow us to feel ok. Because we are CONSTANTLY in demand of being better, slimmer, more muscular, have more friend, have more money, have the best vacation ever   etc

[suzsiz]

To me all this self-haterd stems from not being met emotionally as a kid - which leads to feeling rejected and feeling bad and disgusting for having feelings. My approach has been to reprogram my subconcious negative self talk with having a strong counter-defence against the negative self-talk. Like for example everytime I get a negative thought about myself I meet that thought with a defence that says: No, I will not allow negative self-talk like that. Eventually after a lot of training, your ego will eventually pick up on whats going onand will eventually shut up ( to some extent.)

[TheGhostbuster]

Self-hatred has made want to end it several times, especially when I mess up simple tasks. I wasn't always like this, when I was a kid I had ambition, I was confident, I loved myself. But over the years, through a combination of stress, bullying, and loneliness I've began to see myself as more of a burden on this world, and started to think that may the Earth would be a better place without me.

[elizabethsebalac]

Is it considered self-hatred when you don't cut or burn or physically harm yourself but think about something horrible happening to you?

[rhiannon]

I just got complimented and I cried. Not cause I was so happy about it but because I didn't believe the person and it felt like they are lying to me. I think that showed me that I hate myself even more than I thought I would.

[oblivious]

I don't see things as positive or negative. Only realistic and fact. I'm quite tired of people calling me negative just because I'm being honest and real about my situation

[TonyKaras]

One thing that helps me is to post 3 positives for the day. Sometimes it is really hard to find anything positive but if you really, really look you can always find something. Something simple like I'm still breathing. I post them then explain why they are a positive. I did this every day during my darkest periods and it really helped.

[schzbella]

"The most hurtful things are the ones we tell ourselves."

[jablestables]

I realized that I am so rebellious I even rebel from my own self telling me what to do. So I learned a way to use reverse psychology on myself when I am feeling really self-loathy. I make a "To-Done" list instead of a "To-Do" list.

I will write all day long on the list after every accomplishment including what might seem trivial or expected of me like getting out of bed, taking a shower, eating a meal at home, taking my son to school, etc. I find that when I make "To-Do" lists I get overwhelmed and never start them, but when I make "To-Done" lists it becomes a game to add to the list. After only one day I start viewing myself with more compassion and begin focusing on my strengths.

[KatelynKontagious]

Kati, I'm in recovery from anorexia/bulimia and I've always struggled with self hate and it's worse since I've been weight restored and I cannot thank you enough for this video. You're amazing and I'm so glad I found you on YouTube. Thank you so much!

[amye]

Still, remember- sometimes it can come from discrimination and overly-disciplinary parents. Having being bullied nearly every day of school starting at the first few days of the year and having parents with high expectations of you begin to mess you up. Even now, I hate myself. I strive to be perfect, I try to punish myself if I'm not. It's not pity, but rather pure punishment and hatred towards yourself, and being overly self-disciplinary.

[sethate]

Writing or drawing those thoughts/feelings, then destroying it in someway helped me move on from them.

[yuh]

What sucks the most is understanding that I hate myself, and have an issue, but literally not being able to change it. Every time I’m in an awkward situation, say something wrong, or just do anything i could’ve done better, I literally physically say OUT LOUD under my breath “I hate myself” automatically. it feels like just about every moment in my life goes bad, and when something good happens it’s a surprise. I used to think it was because I didn’t like how I looked but I lost weight and still hate myself, if not more than before. My perfect day would be a day where as soon as I wake up shit doesn’t go wrong like it does now. my perfect day is one without “me”, it has a different me. a happier, friendlier, funnier, prettier me. a me that can just do things right the first time without looking stupid or overthinking every single little thing.