How stop feeling guilty when you have a narcissistic mother

Do you feel guilty for advocating for yourself when it comes to your narcissistic mother?

Here's what you can do.

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Disclaimer: The advice and opinion are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding your condition.

[lovelv]

I felt like a BURDEN entire life . Their needs always come first always

[jinping-hzwt]

My mother is narcissist and sometimes its hell for me to be around her.

[katydid]

My mom is facing a lot of difficult life changes, and she was in tears today. I felt compelled to hold her, soothe and comfort her. I didn’t want to leave, but had to go deal with my own problems. She’s seen me in that kind of pain, and completely ignored me. It’s a messed up dynamic.

[pazylibertad]

When I was 33 yrs old my mother came to my house, we had a misunderstanding so she grabbed me by my arms and dug her nails into them. She pulled me up close to her face and was she let go I asked her not to touch me again. She did it again and thats when I took a step back and hit her in the face. I wasnt afraid of her anymore and I was not letting her touch me ever again. Long story short she stopped talking to me for 20 years. She was diagnosed with cancer and reached out to me. Honestly I was happy because I had missed her but as soon as she was cleared from the cancer and told by the doctors she was going to be ok (6 months later) she stopped talking to me again over the dumbest reason. Im so tired of holding on to her. She has hurt me so much both physically and emotionally. Im very thankful to have found your channel. I am here to learn and heal. 🙏🙏🙏

[monicarai]

The minute I grew up and started having my own mind I was suddenly the "bad one". Got kicked off the pedestal. A small price to pay for your authentic identity

[mesalouis]

3 weeks no contact with my and I feel rage and sadness. I’m happy I finally took the plunge, but at the same time I feel guilty because I feel responsible for them somehow.

[ranikster]

My adoptive mom never cared what I wanted. She never let me make decisions for myself. My dad didn’t care to ever take my side. I finally broke free from them yesterday. I still go back and forth between grief, happiness and anger but it already feels like relief ❤

[whitleysunday]

Thank you for this video. My mother was very "sacrificial" and would "help out" anytime. Meanwhile, she STILL has an excel spreadsheet that dates when she helped me, and how much I owe her. Then when my dad helps out, expecting nothing back, it's a competition to her and he is "trying to be the better parent". They're divorced since I was young thankfully.

[alinisrat]

My mother tortured me the whole her golden child....my younger sister above all....expected me to worship her and my sister....now tries to constantly guilt trap me...taunt me....for not paying for my sister's stuffs.... basically she expects me to completely neglect myself...while treating me like shit....even when I am sick....and work hard to earn money and take care of them.

[Julheartstudio]

Thank you for sharing this. I used to be so confused about why I felt guilty for 25 years… I only realized my mother is a narcissist after I went to therapy because I was so full of self doubt. She’s covert so it was so hard to figure it out. I always knew something was off, but I was gaslighted my whole life by both of my parents so believing in myself enough to trust me again has been the most transformative life lesson.

[benar]

My parents, but specially my mother was always making me feel guilty for the simplest things, even asking for more food when u're hungry, she almost never showed appreciation when i do something good, always criticize the bad and when i grew up and started talking back, since we're a religious family, she started bringing god and how im sinful and ungrateful and start to list everything wrong with me and my character ext.. And now i grew up to have anxiety disorder and trauma and when i most needed their care and support, they're still toxic.. I feel like i hate them and mad at thel but i feel guilty and wrong about feeling like that...

[sdub]

I am slowly crawling out of the hell of persistent toxic guilt. I used to blame myself for issues with my mother now i blame her. I'm so tired of dealing with her toxicity.

[de]

My mother is a pitty party person. All she thinks about is herself, the world or people in her life from her eyes and how it effects her. She never thinks about things from other people's point of view. She lives in her own head and takes medication that doesn't help. My brother who is an adult and has traveled before, has traveled again and she messages me every day that she hasn't heard from him enough (mi Mi Mi) and I finally told her to talk to her therapist about it, not me. I used to feel guilty growing up with her disguised selfishness. She acts like some whiny good mother victim, helpless. She is toxic. And it effects me greatly. I try to ignore her. A lot of the time her response is always "okay." Or "whatever. Bye." Stupid things like that. I shouldn't have to reassure her every day. I'm not a freaking therapist!

[sherrya]

My aging mother is horrible with her guilting

[nicanamiko]

Holy crap.
You described my mother and my relationship to her to the point!
I was actually questioning myself if my mother was really narcissistic even though I just ended a 5 1/2 year relationship with a narcissist who treated me just like her.
All the guild and shame I felt for my entire life finally started to fall off of me.
I ended my relationship with her about 2 weeks ago, but your video just gives me assurance that I am allowed to believe in what I suspected and that I don't have to second guess myself.
She's a narcissist.

Thank you!

[samxsara]

Its funny i absolutely dont feel responsible for people except for my mother, until now. I sent her a text this morning acknowledging that i will not tolerate her telling me to shut up ever again. In short i know this is my last message to her. I dont need to add more.i free myself. I feel guilty that it took me so long to realize she manipulated me emotionally by making me fear shed die. Now i stood up courageously for myself and it feels peaceful. Im a quiet person with a clear mind when nobody hijacks it with negative thoughts ❤

[margierosado]

Guilt, anger and feeling defeated and trapped is how I feel most of the time. I am her caregiver (24/7). Trying hard to cope with my narc mom but prayer, and your videos and others like Dr Ramani are absolutely helping me. I also have a support crew who I love so much. Thanks for empowering me.

[omartrachen]

Thank you for explaining so precisely what a relationship with a narc mom looks like !!

[xoxobutterfly]

Yup my mother is a narcissist and I believe I have borderline personality disorder:( it sucks so bad

[osa-oe]

I’m 17, I have no close friends or family my always ask me why I’m so quiet and don’t speak up to people but she’s ruined my self confidence. I’m so tired of arguing w her over the tiniest things just because it’s not done her way. I try not fight back and just let her complain by herself but it’s really hard. I feel so sad all the time and have no one to talk to since I’m also an only child. She gets angry really quick and sometimes violent but after a day she forgets and we go back to normal like nothing happens. I don’t really know what to do. Someone please help