The 2 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Dating a Widower (Part 1)

There are 2 big mistakes women make when dating a widower. In the first of a two-part video series, Abel Keogh discusses the biggest mistake and what you can do to overcome it.

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[carltarajkowski]

I am a widower, dating a widow…both on our 60s… we get along great since we both came out of great marriages so we both had high standards and expectations…
Found each other on a dating site… met at a restaurant and on it went… we are now in our 21st going strong!!! You can find love again!

[ruthieclarke]

First date with a widower within 10 minutes of first date he was crying about his deceased wife. I have compassion but I am not a counselor. That was the last date. It was obviously too soon for him to be dating and putting his sorrow and loss on a lady who was happy and full of life.

[ellie]

I think some Widowers behave very badly indeed, and boundaries are very important. I am very wary of them now, as I have been treated badly by one. I actually think some Widowers can take it out on women, angry his wife died and left him. All Widowers should have counseling in my opinion before they on leash themselves on women who may never have dated a Widower before and have no idea what to expect, this is a different kind of dating.

[teresalee]

I think boundaries are a must. Communicating as you go along as to what is acceptable and what is not everyone is different regarding boundaries . Taking time being honest with yourself, Taking your time and looking at this as a friendship Think you It's a healing process. I don't think there's nothing wrong with having a coffee and a little companionship. We all have baggage we need to work on. I wouldn't do anything suddenly. But I'd be extremely upfront with my boundaries.

[annetterhynold]

I am dating a widower. It is difficult for me. Thanks for giving me ways to speak to him about his late wife. Setting boundaries may help. There are 3 people are in this relationship.

[Christian_Girl]

This is helping me learn alot. I have always been empathetic towards anyone who suffered a loss. But this is a different thing. I never experienced this, so it's good to have your story so we can understand better what widowers go through.

[kalevane]

As a young widower it's been an uphill battle to find resources on it thank you

[juliapurdy]

Hi Abel, I've been checking into your talks for the last several months, trying to find the key to unlock the puzzle that is my would-be boyfriend, a widower, who is one of the most un-selfconsciously beautiful men I have ever known. Setting boundaries hits the nail on the head.The key this, ladies: ask yourself, does he still identify himself as a married man?Second, would you knowingly break up a marriage?To answer both questions, you have to get to know the guy beyond the "cheap talk and wine, " the smarmy flirting and feverish lookups in sun signs!Boundaries. He has always set them. Because of that I have learned to set my own. I could easily sacrifice my own interests and activities hankering after him, but he put a stop to that. I myself have grown tremendously in self-understanding because of it.Early on he suddenly slammed on the brakes and now I think it was because somehow, whether the idea was planted by a daughter or he came up with it himself, to continue intimacy with me - or any woman - was tantamount to adultery. After all, he didn't split up with his wife, he didn't have a bad marriage - she was taken from him. I can see that, once I get myself out of the way, and knowing him a lot better now. He tried to fill the void and couldn't do it. Armed with this untested assumption, I can now start to relax and get realistic. Early on I made it clear I wasn't interested in marriage for my own reasons, and we had very long, very personal talks as we got to know each other. He still looks out for me and cares about me, but not as a lover.I have never been jealous of his wife, in fact I encourage him to speak about her, refer to her, because I see it as therapeutic in a way. He's just too sweet to come down hard on him. I want him to trust me, and the way to do that is to trust him. If she were alive and married to him, there is no way in hell I would break that up.

[melsvalley]

I’m dating a widower…I care for him very much. Thank you for the video.

[specialstone]

Just because a man is a widower does not mean he is a match for a single lady. He could be hiding that he was not a really good husband and now living with regrets (ladies, observe, be discerning, it doesnt take long to see that somethings are not right).

[PamelaReeves]

This is helpful to know how to handle certain situations. Thank you!

[tiffanymartelli]

Don’t you find it odd that a widow and/or widower would even want to date until they’re actually healed and have moved on? That just tells me they’ve never taken the time to become whole alone?

[ezuliketheresa]

this man cares so much about me and he does everything for me he never lets me feel in need of anything and i h😢fallen in love with him but he has never said he loves me.. i am really intentional in wanting his healing.. it’s three years already since he lost his ex wife im getting fed up im trying so hard not to leave him but he is not helping matters i am really confused i don’t know what to do. it feels like my life revolves around him its so hurtful 😢

[ireneudebuana]

I am 25 currently, and I fell in love with a widower who is 32. All of this happened within a span of 6 weeks and via long distance. He asked me to be girlfriend two weeks ago and I have been indecisive. His late wife’s death anniversary would be in 10 days time and he told me he plans on posting her picture on his social media feed that day. We all know that is a big no no. Do you feel it’s alright if I set a boundary about it despite not being in an exclusive relationship yet?

[NYCRhythm]

This helps! Thank you. What is the age difference between you and Marathon person?

[chillieboi]

I dated a widower he crossed my boundaries treated me like carp so I ended it. his alcoholism got me down

[AndrielleHillis]

What about the late spouse's family? Is it odd that I still refer to my late husband's mother as my "mother-in-law"?

[KidCity]

I'm ok with him referring to her as his wife. I'm just more chill, his love for her shows me his capacity to be a good mate, and I don't want to be a wife. Why would you want to erase her as long as she didn't interfere with your current life.

[Soulhunter]

Tried to connect with a widower (it had only been 18 months for him) I really liked him but liked him too much and told him....he kinda stopped responding to me texts after that-it's frustrating when you meet someone and they still love the ghost of their past but what can you do?

[KristenRodriguez-mp]

I was dating a young widower, things were going great and then 6 months in he needed time to figure himself out and heal. I had already fallen in love with. Was this his way of exiting our relationship?