Dr Gabor Maté | The Power Of Saying NO (Part 4)

We tend to believe that normality equals health. Yet what is the norm in the Western world? Joining us live on stage in London – in conversation with filmmaker and author David Malone - the renowned physician, addiction expert and author Gabor Maté dissects the underlying causes of this malaise – physical and emotional, and connects the dots between our personal suffering and the pressures of modern-day living.
Illness and trauma are defining how we live. 45% of Europeans suffer high blood pressure, and nearly 70% of Americans take at least one prescription drug.
Over four decades of clinical experience, Dr Gabor Maté has found that the common definition of ‘normal’ is false: virtually all disease is actually a natural reflection of life in an abnormal culture, as we grow further and further apart from our true selves.
Filled with stories of people in the grip of illness or in the triumphant wake of recovery, this life-affirming talk from the beloved physician and author will show how true health is possible – if we are willing to embrace authenticity above social expectations.
Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author and renowned speaker, highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books published in nearly thirty languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He has been awarded the Order of Canada (his country’s equivalent of the MBE) and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver, for his ground-breaking medical work and writing.
David Malone is a filmmaker and TV presenter whose documentaries include Testing God, Soul Searching (both Channel 4), Dangerous Knowledge and The Secret Life of Waves (both BBC). He is the author of The Debt Generation.

[christineo]

Saying no ?? I go out if my way to help even when I am not asked 😩 I am tired and already sick .. my entire life I have had anxiety and stressed. This makes so much sense after listening to this Dr

[KirstyMcCulloch]

This man is helping to save us, individually and collectively. Helping us to understand ourselves and find peace and meaning.

[la]

The information he is giving is truly the medicine the world needs, especially the political leaders.

[cathlaurs]

My devastating illness was a turning point for me; it enabled me to disconnect, entirely, from my toxic family and the harm they caused. I thank my body for telling me that I needed to make the change.

[chadmichael_]

I’m a musician, artist, and actor and I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago now at the age of 31 but had symptoms for a year before that before I knew what was happening to me. I was recommended a book by Gabor called “When The Body Says No” and it completely changed my life for the better. I was not living in a way that was authentic at all nor in a way that manifested who I truly was and coming off my first prednisone cycle I was about to start work on a job as an actor for Universal Studios Hollywood during Halloween which I used to do years ago but couldn’t do for various reasons the past 2 years but I never forgot how much I loved it.

I was terrified to do such a physically demanding job coming off my cycle because I thought it would be a disaster not being on some medication to lower my inflammation. The job was also incredibly physically demanding. The exact opposite happened. I was manifesting a part of me as an artist and an actor in an environment I felt embraced and respected doing something amazing every night that made myself and so many others happy. I was having so much fun even though the work was hard that I almost completely forgot I had a disease. After that experience I now completely understand what Gabor is trying to say. The art was flowing through me. Kind of like “jazzing” from the Disney movie “Soul”. My body knew I was in alignment again and my inflammation never came back until recently as I’ve fallen back into some hard times but I can’t unexperience what I experienced. I can’t unknow what I now know about myself.

[Stephiehm]

Gebor Mate is my geri... He is a life changer and I love the quote he stated in Whne the Body says no - “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.” I was someone who kept her mouth shut to avoid fights, starting from a young age, which turned in resentment over the years. I hurt myself so much by doing that. A very painful coping mechanism.

[CarMaBear]

How can someone accurately voice the vast majority of major existential concerns in such a short video 🤯🤯🤯

[carmenl]

It's not about saying 'no'; it's about authentically saying it. The thing is that you need to have a sense of a true self before you can effectively set boundaries. You can learn how to say 'no' (hence all the courses for learning how to be assertive), but that is not helpful if it is just another socially desirable thing you do. There is no point in saying 'no' if you are not connected to your true self.
I do agree that saying 'no' to people who make it difficult for your true self to grow (like a toxic is always the best option.

[nataliemartin]

Thanks. His messaging is on fire right now. So much wisdom.

[jennyg]

I said No tonight, and I needed to hear this thank you. I feel bad for saying no, but I know it was authentic, so I am trusting the process.

[livingholistically]

It's beautiful to see a person working into their elderly years. When I first saw him before the hair went greyer I thought I was looking a fifty something year old who had aged badly. When I found out he was almost 80. I thought the opposite. He has aged wonderfully. It's someone I agree with because I have healed myself many times since I was 19. Always after healing I look younger and get many comments from people I just met asking my age. Now my life has alot of stress so I don't expect these comments anymore but just knowing I can do this gives such a better outlook for my own kids.

[genevievechirelstein]

Thank you. Never stop helping us. We need you to keep talking to us and showing us how to heal.

[blackpanther]

Saying no is so good ... After a lifetime of saying yes ... No and ontop of it fek off... Feels so good 😊

[marlenefeldmann]

Excellent discussion!! A very wise friend once told me, your life will only change, when you start setting boundaries ie saying NO ♥️

[sharonjones]

Recovering and healing from a childhood filled with trauma…lived with a narcissist mother and father who wasn’t plugged in. I’m finding myself and becoming whole. Thank you for your work.

[garycoyle]

Gabore Mate makes so much difference to my world and I believe to ‘the world’ I hope they listen

[rawhomemade]

This tension that comes up about disappointing others has accompanied me throughout my life! At nearly 50 this is an experience that feels so disabling!

[ManifestationsOfTheLight]

8:24 says it all. You can have authenticity, or you can have attachment

[yaraviera]

I have learned to say no.. I'm always say yes yes to everyone to please them meet there needs.. but it's okay to say no.. put a barrier 🚧

[pipnipipamimmahappunchaol]

Children are not extention to parent, that is healthy and a hero, it is really delightful to know this channel