Dr. Gabor Maté on Parenting and Raising Healthy Children | The Tim Ferriss Show

Please enjoy!

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[tomesky]

Raising children is the most important work we as adults we will ever do.

[annastolz]

"We have the science, we have the research -- we're just not applying it." As a former teacher, this has by far depressed me the most. It's all here, but society insists on the harmful ways, feeding into the cycle of trauma.

A big thank you to Gabor Maté to continuously trying to give these topics more attention!

[valtracey]

Parents, Guardians, Educators, anyone responsible for the care and education of our children - the debate that’s been raised here is whether it is better to look only at ‘what’ the behaviour is or to look deeper into the behaviour and ask ‘why’. As a daughter I was raised in the ‘what’ only era and there was no teaching involved, just harsh punishment, which in my case resulted in suppression of my feelings (the unacceptable ones). I was very obedient - so job done for the system - but I was also the perfect bait for predators and abusers. I got cancer 3 times in my lifetime. As a mother I applied the ‘what’ method, but with teaching (by ‘correcting’ the so-called bad behaviour. No punishment. That still didn’t prevent my son becoming addicted, in his case to alcohol and prescribed medication (the convenient companion to the ‘what’ method. My son died prematurely. So that method clearly doesn’t work (in my humble opinion). As a grandmother I apply the ‘why’ method, having learned it from books written by and talks given by Gabor Mate. It is working beautifully - especially with my grandchildren who have ADHD and/or anxiety ‘disorders’. So I’m on the ‘why’ side. Absolutely no doubt - it’s working in ‘real’ life!

[UnschoolingCOM]

"In general, children are the most brutalized of people, not because they are small and weak, but because they don’t have the same freedoms to quit that adults have." ~ Peter Gray

[amymegr]

Asking, "what's is beneath the story/behavior?" Will give a pause. Remember, " A 'misbehaving' child is a discouraged child." True for adults too. ❤

[whmrtru]

Dr Gabor mate is one of top in this field his clipps helped me througth my trauma i am about to buy one of his books and look forward buying all of the books he wrote he is such intelegent and interesting person

[hanimmm]

It’s very challenging to have a healthy relationship with a child when we’re living in a toxic environment and surrounded by toxic people who are very low minded and worthless on almost all level. We somehow pass our unhappiness to our child unwittingly unless we watch some of these videos that really raise awareness so we can be aware and really understand our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors…..I believe that many of the personality disorders are a response to the problematic environment and toxic culture that we live in.

[darongardner]

His knowledge and understanding should filter in to all our systems from prisons to governmental departments to truly address society s trauma.

[Chucklesjr]

Understanding from the household level or perspective could be challenging. If we could find a way to have more connected communication with the children, maybe consider if the family need consultation; understand the relationship as a way of understanding the child's needs. Could the government consider employing therapists in schools for a teamed effort with the guidance councillors?

[Slavic_Socialist]

Wow very well said, 100% agree . My parents were psychologically abusive and my dad would hit me with a belt instead of doing actual parenting. I was a good kid, he was an angry person who didn’t respect either of his children’s autonomy.
All while successfully coming across as normalish to people they interact with for the most part.
After a lot of working on myself I’ve been able to heal through the trauma but I’m a little lost with what to do with my life at the current moment.

[AnnaAwesome]

This show episode gives me so many connection and writing researched you!

[GetUnlabeled]

I have to say that the legal system does understand, they don't care, if they don't care, they won't try to change, the money flowing freely for ruining lives must be stopped

[UnschoolingCOM]

“Generations of scholars and activists have examined race, gender, class and sexuality as categories of oppression. They have not extended the same courtesy to the category of childhood, to the oppressions and sufferings of children. But the fact is you can’t reproduce any order of societal oppression based on race, gender, class or sexuality without first destroying each generation of young people as soon as they enter the world.” ~ Dr. Stacey Patton

[shannonm]

I love Gabor matè but it’s really frustrating how he only describes the issues and the causes but NEVER solutions or practical techniques to put into action so you can connect with your kids or re-attachment.

He tells you what not to do (essentially all parenting techniques you know) but never the right ways to fix the issues.

[valtracey]

@Jose S. James … and that will help our children how?
I think you’ve come into the wrong stream … I’m sure there are plenty of good sites where you can have a chat about investments!

[nikki]

My 1 year old is very physically aggressive and I am struggling !!!! Any advice please on how to cope with this

[joedavis]

.. here in Western South Dakota we have behavior management systems, which focuses only on behavior, and hands out dangerous drugs like they were candy..

[Callummullans]

Give your children good yeast. Read them the Bible. Don’t let bad things be seen, if the eyes are good then the whole body is full of light. There’s a lot of mischief making light of wicked things in the world, despicable me for instance makes light of being a thief and is aimed at children.

[shaunehuolohan]

Same in Australia with our
Aboriginal population 😢

[Beck.turnip]

I am raising a very volatile 12yr old with severe ADHD and anxiety. She goes to my sister's several days a week and she is able to do homeschool and behave wonderfully. Every time she comes home, she is exploding with emotion and anxiety. I can't decide if going to my sister's is good or bad for her. I don't know how to help her regulate on the way home. This is the only way I have figured out to school her. Nothing else works. She is developing a negative self image and I also wonder if I should keep looking for a medication that will work for her.