How To Stop Being Jealous

Your palms sweat, your heart races and your mind fills up with dark thoughts. They call it the green-eyed monster for a reason—Jealousy is the worst. It can consume you, your partner and your relationship if you’re not careful. But how can you stop yourself from obsessing? How can you stop being jealous?

Hi, I’m Amy North, author of the devotion system and the text chemistry program. Today I want to talk about jealousy. What it is, where it comes from, and how to prevent it so you can stop obsessing.

First, let’s talk about what makes jealousy so toxic. Jealousy shows a lack of trust. If you can’t shake the feeling that your partner is betraying you then that means you don’t trust them. Since you can’t be around them all the time (nor should you try) this distrust will force a wedge into your relationship.

Jealousy also makes you look desperate and possessive. If you’re coming at them with unfounded accusations or even just giving them attitude when they go out with their friends, it’s going to change how they look at you. You want a relationship driven by love, not fear. In fact, in some worst cases, fostering an atmosphere of jealousy in a relationship can actually drive your partner away and into the arms of someone else, justifying all your worst fears.

So how can you combat jealousy and keep your relationship together? The answer starts with you. Here are five steps you can take.

Think before you act

If you’re watching this video, you’re aware that you have a problem with jealousy. You can counter this by being mindful and deliberate when you’re feeling jealous. This means recognizing when jealousy rears its ugly head and instead of reacting impulsively, taking a moment to consider your next move.

For example. Maybe you can’t get ahold of your boyfriend. He hasn’t texted you since last night and you’re freaking out. Instead of sending him a bunch of texts and phone calls, or preparing a big speech, or stewing in anger and burying your feelings deep down, simply wait. Remember times when you maybe didn’t text him. Were you cheating on him or were you just busy? Keep this in mind going forward and don’t let yourself spiral into jealousy. When you do decide to call or text him, remember that he hasn’t done anything wrong so give him the benefit of the doubt and keep your cool.

Get a second opinion

As with so many relationship problems, conflict comes from a difference of opinion. If you’re concerned that your boyfriend’s actions are suspicious and that your jealousy may be justified, now is the time to reach out to a third party. Talk to your friends or family. Be sure it’s someone who you know can give an impartial opinion and make sure you’re honest with them about what’s really going on. Often talking it out is enough for you to wrap your mind around it and your friend can provide helpful insight to help you find the truth. The important thing in this situation is keeping a cool head.

*** More from Amy North: ***

[indisingh]

Hey Ms North Thanks for these tips in this video You're Really Great Godbless you

[RamonaTruta]

I have almost lost my job because of jealosy, I was dating a college and he is very popular, social person and I saw him in a compromise position with one of the lady college of ours, I threatened to slap her, she reported me to the managers of corse and they said they will relase me, that was an wake up call. jealosy it is a hard desese

[mercedesmartinez]

I think everybody gets jealous whether they want to admit it or not, it depends how you control it or go about

[marah]

I try to be realistic to keep my jealousy in check. I know even when I’m in a relationship, I have crushes on others and I see other attractive people when I’m out and about. It’s normal and, of course, men would do the same.

[mercedesmartinez]

Yeah I'll be the first to admit.... I'm a jealous....girlfriend:/ it sucks

[alizayohana]

I feel much better watching this video. Thank you 🙏🏿 😊 ☺️

[LovesDarkBlue]

My problem has always been just that: MY problem. MY insecurities and ME putting too much into a boyfriend, looking for him to fulfill me in ways I couldn’t even fulfill myself. I couldn’t just let go and trust that he liked and wanted only me, nor could I get over the fact that he is going to talk to, meet, and find other women attractive. Even the thought of him thinking another girl was pretty was too much for me to handle. It was always ME letting my own emotions and issues run my relationship and me not knowing how to communicate those feelings positively, driving him away. It’s still something I’ll have to actively work on for my next partner...

[christinemusana]

I'm not jealousy ihave a pure spirit.

[nonamenoname]

We became a couple some months ago, just after her divorce. Now she tells me, that she thinks it's strange that no man has contacted her because it's "out there" that she's divorced. And she tells me that she won't show on facebook that she's in a relationship. Then she shows me a short love message she actually has gotten from a man she knows from the past. Then she posts a beautiful picture of herself on Instagram, and that same guy likes it with a heart and also writes "wauwww". And this just leaves me jealous and hopeless. What to do, what to do ...

[artastic_aimz]

This video helped a lot. Im finding myself get jealous over my bf being with his mate over his house, I think it’s because he ain’t using the time on me. Even though I understand he’s gotta be with his mate and to be happy and can’t always be around me, he sees his mate most days of the week when I have to travel an hour up to see him for a day or so. I always feel like he gives the mate more attention then me and it gets to me. How would I stop this? I realise the good and bad but can’t stop feeling sad or thinking about it. I end up wanting to reply angry to him that’s not myself at all

[Tontoquienloleation]

Sometimes there are reasons to be jealous. Some years ago I was super jealous and I was trying to work on it, but my therapist made me see that my boyfriend was taking me for granted. We both worked to improve, we almost split up, but we could solve our problems and now we're fine. That was a long ago, we were so young back then.

[badgal]

My ex till this day he still get jealous when men talk to me when we hangout and we are friends 🤦 I kept my distance but I still love him

[pppppppieeeeeee]

All I did was have a dream about the guy who rejected me dating someone, and I feel so hurt....

[tjgotbands]

Hey My ex texted me thanksgiving day and we talked for about 2 weeks but then cut off contact with me but not on bad terms I don’t think we’re good with each other because 2 months ago she ended it on bad terms but did no contact for a month then texted me back. She cut off contact and stop texting me about a week ago. What do you think my next steps are? Because I felt like it was gonna go somewhere again but she just stopped texting me. I still see her at school and stuff but I don’t know what should I do?

[nicechingkhanman]

My female friend always touch him and I felt like both of them flirting .so I told my bf don't let your body to touch I don't feel good.what he did is 😭😭 he chose to leave me. We are staying in the same campus and I can't see him being nice to someone and being rude to me.

[tamrinimelda]

Apalagi mengada-ada, jangan deh #SALAMtamringantenk

[berrybunbun]

Jealousy ugh...stop! Jealousy making me crazy 😵