Signs You are Avoiding Your Grief

It's so natural to avoid our Grief!! But there are risks with this!! Have a watch.. leave a comment...Let us know where you are at with "Pendulation" (the grief tool I describe!)

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#grief #grievolution #jomcrogers

[DonnaVienneau]

I found your videos shortly after my husband passed last September and they really helped my thinking and my feelings.
Then I went to see a professional grief counselor in town one on one and it has helped but I continue to watch yours cause there is always different feelings, emotions and thoughts at different times of every day.
Listening to you helps me know I'm normal, not losing my mind.😮
Thank you!

[kathleenhensley]

Can't stare down the abyss too long... I feel like I am falling into it. The truth is that I can only bear to think about my loss a short time, then I must turn away and do some living, even after 3 years.It is always with me. I wake up and the bed is empty except for me and the cats. I go to bed and I am alone. I have to call people to fix things that he could have done in a few minutes. I miss him terribly in every possible way. I have to clean the sidewalks of snow, alone. I have to ask tall friends for help when I can't reach things my husband put on the top shelves. I have to reopen the gate to my property, today. I have to numb myself to the pain just to want to take my next breath. it saps me of will and strength. It hurts so darn much. He's gone. How could such a beautiful loving man, die?
I do it cheaply watching videos about popular culture, movies etc... needlework, pod casts.... the eating problem is just what it is. i can't understand how I am staying within 5 lbs of my normal weight when I seem always so busy and I swear I eat to so little... I am trying to just live and bear the loss. I don't think there is any end to the grief. I just empty the cup and it fills up again... endlessly.

[debranicholson]

I can definitely relate to some of these. I tend to go back and forth..a few tough days and then I'm sick of feeling it

[ivisgonzales]

I’m still in pain. Feels like it won’t go away:( I feel like he is not really gone. And when I think he ain’t coming back. It terrifies me…

[Kjsparadigm]

😮 all of these are me… hurts so bad to even think about the loss it’s hard to breathe

[gabrielletanner]

My husband passed 2023. Not sleeping, on my ipad 12 hours a day and have hardly done anything last five months. Did everything for him on my own for four years. Miss him. At 69 there is no one to look after for the first time my life. Don't want to go anywhere. Would like a rescue dog which I've had all my life but they say you have to have a fenced garden which I don't have. Live in he countryside in retirement ground floor apartment with communal gardens for people over 60yrs. Thank you for your video, i find these words do help to try and keep you focused., when eventually we are ready to start some kind of life.

[kathleenburke]

My daughter died 5 months ago. We were very close. I find that I am still numb to it all. I keep saying to myself she’s just away….I know in reality she is gone but in my heart I am afraid to feel that hurt. I recently went to a Doctor appointment and told the doctor of my daughter death and suddenly my grief, crying was uncontrollable. I also started a journal but at the end of each entry I would apologize to my daughter that she had died. She did die at home in her room….

[marionjohnson]

My husband has mixed dementia and is not able to have a conversation or recognise me. I watch your posts on grief as I am on a long grief journey.

[deborahpalmer]

Looking at the list, I can check off most points. It would indicate that I'm avoiding my grief, yet I have not made it through one day in 9 months without weeping. Grief is confusing.

[brookecarlock]

I am definitely guilty of over functioning. I have to tell myself to stop and relax and feel.

[rinavanrensburg]

I can relate to most of the points you've mentioned. I wake to with a wet pillow, sitting and staring at my husbands photo, feeling irritable with people and things around me. 4 seasons in a day and I'm not sure how to handle it but I'm trying...

[michaelfisher-ggvp]

I am experiencing all of them. I lost my wife of 33 years.
It's been 7 months I thought I would be handling it better by now, instead 😢it seems worst ...

[judygarnet]

I Like listening to your video's, just this past May I lost the best man in my life, he was definitely my soul mate and my twin flame! We only had six years together and this was very sudden . But I'm still feeling his presence at home ! I was with him as it all happened and I was telling him to come home with me and I believe he did! I'm happy and I'm still Love Him ni matter what! I know he's only a vibration away! There is no death!

[marceapardus]

I do make a choice sometimes to avoid my grief…it seems like a big merry go round on fire…most family & friends don’t want to manage their emotions or they think they have to manage mine, so they avoid me…when I reach out or they make contact with me I find myself stuffing my feelings down to function in the conversation & then the burn is I get feedback like, “oh you seem ok, doing so well”. Often they gossip with another family member & assume my perceived ok ness is because I didn’t care about my husband or worse I am glad he is dead…then the merry go round continues to burn as it spins around…thank you Jo & commenters, you give me the courage to make different choices as I ride this yucky ride…

[l.u.]

I identify with all of the above. The avoiding. I now had to get 2 weeks off from work.

[sylviacolon]

I definitely identify with some of the forms of grief that you are talking about.

[SoniT]

Wow I thought I was handling grief well but maybe I've been avoiding it.

[Nrbrelic]

Lost my son 2 years ago I have dealt with almost everything you mentioned....I have lost hope I think I’m dealing with

[elanahammer]

I cry when I need to and allow for my feelings. The goal I have been working on since last year is moving forward in the capacity and comfort that I feel okay in. Sometimes that means telling people no but yes when I feel it is okay. It also means discerning when a No is appropriate and healthy for me. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸

[biondna]

Sleep issues and Web-surfing, definitely. Everything else I think I've developed better mindfulness on. Sometimes I think I should just set an alarm to cry my guts out once a day, stop when the bell goes off, and go do something pleasant.