Stop Being A People Pleaser - Dr Julie #shorts

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WHO AM I:
I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.

[DrJulie]

Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health.
For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?

[bloxybffs]

Thanks! I’m a people pleaser most of the time to make sure I don’t lose friends. This was pretty helpful

[create]

When you finally put up the boundaries, everyone else is shocked and get angry…not really their fault ; but they need to be taught that this is the real you and they must respect.

[kylecgobel]

This brought tears to my eyes.. I’ve always put others before my needs because I want them to be happy and not have to hurt, I’d always suffer in silence. I’m 31 years old and I have no idea who I am … I have been working with a therapist to help with my boundaries I’m hopeful of finding my true self and surround myself with people who will actually care about me and not take advantage of my kindness

[Hey]

I had a very clingy best friend who never let me play with anyone else other than her. She kept on saying we were best friends but we weren’t. She was also one of the most narcissistic people I have ever met and could not stand to be wrong. She had to always be better than me and it really made me feel small. After 4 years at the same school, she still made me come to the toilet with her. Yes she is a good friend sometimes, but don’t let someone hold you down. Find the people you love and stay with them. God bless

[miguel]

This Doctor is so clever in the way she uses those objects to help communicate the message. I've never seen someone do that so brilliantly. Those short videos have helped me so much and I can't say thank you enough. I wish you all the success in the world Dr. Julie.

[Saturns]

This hit home, hard. Sometimes I just pretend I haven't let go of that much, but in reality I lost me a long time ago.

[lohithprince]

I have my tears rolling down. I’ve recently discovered that what prioritising my own self means to me. I don’t identify myself anymore and need to get back what an understanding of what I want and to get what I really want.

[AYuxlin]

This is 99% of my life, trying to impress others to be friends and being trampled on all the time.
That is probably why I'm an introvert. This helped a lot.

[Julia]

I was taught to be super polite and that making others feel comfortable is the essence of courtesy. So I’m always afraid of offending people. It’s quite similar to people pleasing. The trouble is that when I set boundaries or say no, I do it in such a way that others are offended. It’s easy to advise prioritizing yourself and setting boundaries, but it’s difficult to know how to do it well.

[Tilly]

This actually explains so much!
People ask me all the time how I don't know what I want, and I've never known the answer until now.
I have even built myself a character, based on other people's expectations and needs, that has become my comfort zone.
Sometimes I don't know what's really me and what's the character..., it becomes annoying, but it's all I've ever known and I don't know how to stop it

[JerzyslavBak]

When I saw this, only that quote came up to my mind:
"Look at you, comforting others with the words you wish to hear"

[JJSChocolates]

I’ve always been a people pleaser, but when I think it’s to much I say no. Then I start feeling guilty like I did something wrong. In the end I really didn’t know who I am.

[neveson]

I actually started tearing up at this, I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life pretty much and I never thought it was a big deal until recently when I realised I changed myself so much to be like whoever I was around that I didn’t actually have a personality as myself I tried putting the thought to the back of my mind and forget about it but it only made it worse now I’m scared I don’t have a personality and never will and I’m too scared to tell anyone because I don’t want to upset any of my friends or family.

This video really helped me it helped me remind myself I’m not alone

[pianta]

Almost 2 years ago i went to a new school and finally got some actual good friends that cared (and still care) about me in a way no one ever has, eventhough it made me really happy, it was also one of the hardest periods of my life so far because it finally allowed me to be myself again and think about what I wanted in my life, which i was not used to at all because I wanted to please everyone, I’m still struggling at times but now i know i have people by my side that will help me along the way and I feel much happier then I’ve ever been. After my parents divorced i found out my dad had basically been doing the same as i have, talking to him about it made me realize one thing. If you need to push your happiness aside just so that people will want to be around you then they are not worth your time.

[eotero]

There is so much freedom I have found once I started to say no, boundaries in place, and I started to put myself FIRST on the list. Not easy and those who took advantage will be upset, but with time they get over it or they fade away and I don't miss them. It's not being selfish, it's telling myself that I deserve my life on my terms.

[buvjqeu]

I have been raised to be" nice", but nice was just another word for "People pleaser.".I struggled for years and years however my life changed once I learned a very simple word :No. Say no to whatever things you don't want to do just because they are asking you to do because you used to do. Say No..No

[lukemacon]

Been watching a bunch of her shorts very recently, and this person is one of the most intelligent creators I’ve ever come across. Maybe the most intelligent.

[jessIe]

I love how you're not the type to say "don't like for others, live for yourself" but 'live for yourself *as much* as you life for others." Now that's a full life! My fav psychologist, thanks! ❤

[hey-cjgp]

losing yourself is the worst. feeling lost without knowing what's happening to you and no idea what and how to fix it. set your boundaries, it'll help you in the long run