How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

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This video seems quite hypocritical, especially on this channel.

Mainly because we talk a lot about impressing others, how to seem cool, confident and general tips to increase your charisma.

However, there is a fine line between genuine charisma and people pleasing, and the latter is exactly what we DON’T want.

So today, let’s dive into the subtle signs of people pleasing that you are likely doing so we can solve them and crush them for good!

⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰

0:34 - Sign #1: Mismatch Between What You’re Saying And What You’re Thinking
1:43 - Sign #2: Setting Up “Covert Contracts”
2:53 - Sign #3: Difference In Behaviour Between Groups
4:18 - Solution #1: Listen To Your Internal Voice
5:12 - Solution #2: Be Creative In Expressing Your Real Self
6:05 - Solution #3: Pay Attention To Consistent Personality Traits
7:25 - How To Make An Amazing First Impression

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#PeoplePleasing #CharismaOnCommand #SelfDevelopment
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Connect With Us Further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand

Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music):
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

[xanthippus]

One important thing I learned is that I shouldn't expect people to return favours. If I decide to help someone, I must realise they may not be as grateful as I wish they were, and that's fine.

[SeanLunny]

Draw a line in the sand and don’t let anyone cross it. Determine what you will accept and what’s unacceptable. Stick to it. You will be respected

[MrBillDaBear]

Underrated aspect about this channel:

No cuts. Just one continuous take. That proves you really know what you’re talking about and can share this information with confidence and conviction.

Excellent video as always :)

[jackquinby]

I legitimately was researching this yesterday because I people please SO much. I swear to god you can read my mind

[chickadeeemily]

Spot on! People pleasing can be a subtle form of manipulation (possibly well intentioned) that covers up insecurity and the belief that "others only like me for what I can give them". Instead, a healthier mentality might be, "I like me and I like others, so I treat both myself and others well with consistently high standards".

Love your videos! :)
Keep up the great work.

[MikeHersnt]

If you keep pleasing others, you can't be ever happy with your life. Accept who you are and be it. Great message bro!

[howchen]

The funny thing is that charisma always felt like people pleasing to me
For a very long time

[livla]

I feel called out but heard at the same time 😂

[DCMarvelMultiverse]

I have lived in fear of cruel bosses and co-workers for so long, I have put myself in a shell, dissembling to a point where my old charisma is gone. Your videos are helping.

[Hubjeep]

0:34 Saying "No" to others is saying "Yes" to yourself.

[utder]

The best part is when you’ve helped and didn’t expect anything in return and you got something.

[MrSmallANDLoud]

I became happy, after I stopped caring what other people thought of me.
That doesnt mean you dont still try to be charismatic to gain respect, be a better person, etc.
But you need to have grounding in who you are.

[FunkyPeanut]

Hey Charlie! I've been thinking about this lately. You said that you used to be shy and more introverted when you were younger before you learned all the charisma tricks you're teaching us. After you changed, have you ever thought that the new you isn't genuine anymore? Are we actually charismatic or just shy people that know how to appear charismatic? Is it just a mask?

I know it's a heavy question lol but I really don't know how to answer it. Thanks!

[annabee]

I am a recovering codependent. As hard as this healing journey has been, I can't help but be amused at the people who rage at me when I actually say NO to them or don't do what they want me to do because they are so used to my people-pleasing ways..I've never been more flattered to be called an a-hole lol. Take your power back!!

[MegamanStarforce]

I can see you've transitioned to genuineness rather than simple 'putting on an act' type of charisma. The change is great to see, I've been going through the same thing and this is helping immensely!

[devanshigupta]

I used to think that it was bad that I would behave the same way around different people. Whether it's a driver or a servant or it's a teacher in my school or it's my best friend, I would--at the core--behave in the same manner with all of them. And I used to think that this was wrong, that the people whom I interact with are different, so I should behave with them differently. This video has eliminated that doubt within me. Really cool, man. These videos are really relatable and authentic. Thanks a ton!

[therunawayrascal]

i feel like the selfish and lazy part of everyone should also be talked about with this. in the first point, that inner voice could simply be not wanting to help someone or give up your time because you're being lazy or selfish or prideful. also, sometimes doing the right thing isn't enjoyable, and that can't be the be-all-end-all measurement. your insights are much appreciated as always! and being able to say no is hugely important. but i think the above clarification should be made so people don't take it to a negative extreme.

a follow up video on the difference between being a people pleaser and being a servant/a person who brings great value would be awesome to see!

[akhaled]

I like how you do this all in one take, really shows that you're speaking from the heart and from pure experience. Props man, loving the content.

[jaiyash]

I’m an opposite of this personality and that doesn’t afford me a lot of friends.

No problem with that, though! At least the friends that I do have are real 😄

[bbqvocalist]

hit close and hard. I'm in the autumn of my life and I'm *STILL* attempting to learn the difference between people pleasing and practicing kindness and treating people as I want to be treated. These videos are helping. For that I truly thank you.