How to Get Over Feeling Rejected

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Feeling rejected by someone you want to be close with hurts. But what happens when you think you're being rejected by someone, but they are actually not truly rejecting you - and you're just jumping to conclusions without hard evidence? Here's how to cope with feeling rejected when it's just based on an assumption rather than facts.

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[alldayeverydayable]

I realized that the man who rejected me is a good man who was honest from the beginning. He didnt string me along, played games with me or used me for azz, in other words, he didnt take advantage of my interest for him and I'll forever respect him for that.

[mike]

The hardest part of dating rejection is that when you get rejected after a first date over something small and not giving you the chance to either make up for it or show there is more to you as a person. So its hard to not feel that you were judged before even having the chance to defend your self.

[chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chirs here!

Thank you so much for this video! This is something that I sometimes still struggle with. Some days I feel more secure and who I am and I can trust myself and others and other days not so much.

Of course, a lot of these struggles goes back to my anxious attachment style (For viewers here who are NOT shifters, we just had part 1 of our Attachment class and it was so helpful, and I am looking forward to part 2 and working deeper on this so I can become more secure!)

I struggle with being needy and clingy and the hard part is then I feel shame that I am. So a reminder to all of us who an anxious attachment. There is NOTHING WRONG with you. It is all about relfection and learning to do the inner work and develop a more secure self. We do that with tons of self-compassion!

A lot of hard truths and it can hurt and actually makes me more nervous because I feel like I still do everything wrong with managing my mind and creating self-fulling prophesy and so afraid of pushing people away.

I am not going to give up on myself and I am going to continue to work on this after all, what does it matter if others reject us when deep down, we keep rejecting ourselves? Right? Truth!



Here are my notes:


*Feeling rejected hurts

*Sometimes we feel rejected when we are really not being rejected.

*Taking things personally like not receiving a reply to a text message in a reasonable time.

*Not getting much response or support on a Social Media post.

*Making these things measure our lovability.



What to do when these things and feelings come up:



*We take a deep breath

*Pause and think "What am I making this mean?"

*Think or choose alternative thoughts

*Don't jump to conclusions



Understand some people have different ideas about friendships and how they interact or initiating and that doesn't mean they don't love, value, appreciate or like us less. Stop testing your friends.

Remember we are ALL worthy and valued people! We are loving and deserving of love and belonging. Believe it! (Saying this as reminder to myself as well!)

[stellinad]

Concentrate on people that value you. Thankfully it’s only my family that reject me, so as soon as I built my own life and surrounded myself with “normal” people I realised that it wasn’t me, it was them. I have always been different and now I love who I am. It still hurts though. My niece is very ill and no one is answering my messages of concern, of comfort, of good wishes, of offers of help. My cousin had a baby and I didn’t even know she was pregnant. My daughter really wanted to see one of my cousins but he never showed up. My favourite cousin has ghosted me a few years ago after an inheritance settlement that he didn’t agree with… but I know it’s not me, because my husband’s family adores me and I have lots of friends who value me and I feel loved by them. Family is family though… and I still offer my heart to them when I know something is up… and they throw it back to me like dirt 💔

[pkploxe]

I've had enough of being initiator and yes...on a good day, I'll not take it personally but other days, when cup is empty, I feel rejected or ignored

[prakashmungekar]

Stop testing your friends and start looking for the evidence . That was very powerful. Thanks Very much Julia .

[lindaibrahim]

I REALLY needed to hear this. It’s like you’re reading my mind. Always search for your advice when I need direction and you always say the right thing. I’m so greatful for you❤️

[BGL]

There is also the scapegoat dynamic. That rejection that can be devastating.

[silvamarge]

Can you talk about being bullying, this happens a lot in the United States. Thank you

[Marekcatholic]

I think people have reasons for their behaviour. Some of them have nothing to do with me and it just makes me feel rejected. I do this often too. its not nice to be on the receiving end of it all. I think in my own life people overwhelm me so I need to take a step back often. Im an introvert. doesnt help being and empath and hsp. people can just wear me out often. but I recover once Im on my own.
Different perspective: -with years going by in my life Im learning that when I dont understand the motive for peoples behaviour, or some other instances, this suffering is actually beneficial to me. and I see it actually as invaluable. its a bit controversial I know. It humbles me as a believer :)(my own little problem) . good video Julia. thank you

[melyndafrazer]

Shifter here! Both my boys don’t want me in their lives at all, they have totally rejected me. This is a good video thinking about both sides too and added information, more understanding and information that helps for work relationships too. Thank you Julia❤

[melissamaya]

Feeling rejection by my adult daughter is triple the pain because 1) She is the most important person in my life 2) We used to be close and 3) society blames bad mothering 100% of the time. YouTubers usually just write us off as bipolar, narcissistic, BPD, psycho, etc. nobody can imagine a situation where a good mom can be rejected by a child until it happens to them

[dallasdandigitalproduction]

Really good vid Julia!. Made me do some self reflection. Honest communication is important in all my relationships, but seems to be a challenge since I was very young. I come from a Buddhist training background, so from that I've learned to let go of my attachments to others which has been helpful.

[tronlady]

Brilliant brilliant brilliant! I now have a “goto” video every time I feel like this ❤

[agrav]

I get this when I try to make friends. The rection isn't that clear, but I can't let go easily.

[bibianapatino]

Omg I do all those things you shouldn’t do. I am often an initiator so I do take it personally when others don’t plan stuff. Great advice, Ty!

[suharenrojas]

Loved it. Making things mean something against us is so natural but love to be aware and ask myself that question when starting to naturally asume. Thank u!!! I would like info on the shift society.

[lesliengo]

It seems like everyone struggle with this and I realize myself getting put off when I don't receive a certain amount of likes on my social media page and a coworker who lives just down the hill isn't texting me back in a long while. Being able to step back and think why they aren't that involved and having a conversation wil be helpful.

Very interesting mirror Julia

[anonymousanonymous]

Thank you, lovely lady. sending love and support to all :) xx

[takeiteasy]

I wonder if i am the one who has driven everyone away? You're right.