How to Stop Struggling With Anxiety and Intense Emotions 5/30 How to Process Emotions

Get the course: How to Process Your Emotions

In this video, skill #5 from my course “How to Process your Emotions,” you’re going to learn how to tell if you’re making your anxiety worse. And in the next two videos right here on my channel, you’re going to learn how to escape that cycle — how to get better at feeling so you can resolve really intense emotions and feel more peace and happiness in your life.

Many people with anxiety, chronic pain, panic disorders, depression, tinnitus, vaginismus, muscle tension, and strong emotions in general often experience something like this frequently. The harder you try to not feel anxious, or the more you worry about and pay attention to your chronic pain or tinnitus, the worse it gets.

When we fight and struggle against our thoughts and emotions, we tend to make things worse.
Avoiding our emotions, and especially avoiding anxiety, can make it so much worse.

Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[yz]

I teared up when you said people who have anxiety and depression are not lazy, they've tried everything they could to stop themselves from being pulled off of the cliff. It's just that the struggling is exhausting. It is.

[cecilelebleu]

1. You judge emotions as good and bad. Check
2. You’re stuffing. Check
3. You’re negotiating. Check
4. You’re shaming yourself. Check
5. You’re catastrophizing. Check
6. You’re checking. Check (didn’t see that one coming)
7. You’re distracting. Check
Therapy was amazing to get out of rock bottom, but these videos? These videos are teaching me to fish for a lifetime. Thank you.

[elderaarondavis]

My best friend isn’t considered the career “successful” people. But he’s always satisfied and happy and has incredible ability to flush out negativity the next day. In this aspect he’s the most “successful” person I’ve ever known

[cannotlivewithoutrice]

I'm genuinely glad a person like you is voluntarily giving help to people who are suffering from anxiety and unable to get professional help due to their circumstances. Your wisdom is our bulwark to our personal hardships. Thank you for this. ☺️

[batman]

I’ve actually found a method that has helped my anxiety. Of course, no method is perfect. Sometimes, no matter what I do, I can’t shake my anxiety, but this method has helped me more than any other. As much as possible, I try to focus on the present moment. I try to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, such as the gentle breezes of wind on my face, the smell of freshly baked cookies, or the relaxing sound of dripping water. When I fixate on the uncertainty of the future, that’s when my anxiety creeps in, but at the same time, when I reflect on the trauma of the past, my anxiety also starts to flourish. By focusing on the present moment, I alleviate my worries.

[pattygaffney]

This ideal is what transformed my anxiety. I used to have major panic attacks, was caught in a cycle of avoidance and being miserable. When i learned to sit with it, to stop running away, to stop believing that my feelings will overcome me or would hurt me. Once you actually allow yourself to sit with it and let it do whatever it wants knowing it will release itself and that it’s just uncomfortable energy, it’s absolutely transforms it. That’s how i came out of it. I hope this gives hope to some people. It’s possible❤️

[mindful__gardener]

Overthinking anxiety made me have anxiety about anxiety. Now it's a loop. Trying to be indifferent and not give it attention in Hope's that it will be forgotten.

[kimchobek]

I love that you understand how much effort those with anxiety and depression are putting in each day just to function. I think outsiders might see me as lazy but I'm actually exhausted from trying to handle the anxiety. Going to follow your tips. I'm excited I found your videos. Thank you so much.

[krissyboners]

Last night was rough I felt so desperate and empty I was so scared and lost. I called my mom and we prayed together and talked it out. I feel better now knowing I at least have her in my life. I'm grateful. Thanks doc

[btob]

Just because emotion is uncomfortable doesn't mean it's bad. Among mindfulness characteristics a judgemental attitude towards one's thoughts and feelings is the strongest predictor of both depression and anxiety.

[EamonWill]

I am not lazy. I am simply putting all of my effort and energy into things that are counter productive.
That meant a lot. Thank you for saying that!

[dmills]

"What you pay attention to you get more of" Wow! Thank you, Emma.

[flyingumbreons]

10 years ago, I worked in a school that had a lot of problem kids, and I was stressed out. It was my first job, and I felt I had to prove myself. I was overwhelmed, and I made a lot of mistakes tryiing to figure out what to do. I sometimes had nightmares about going to work. In the end, I lost the job, and felt disappointed in myself. Even though, now I can see better. I realized I didn't know what I didn't know. It was the best I could do at the t time. I forgive myself and the people who made my life miserable at that time. I felt like that police officer that has to see horrible things over and over, year after year. You have to remain calm, but deep down inside, you are truely hurt by the situations you have to witness. You want to do more, but you sometimes are helpless.

[angelauruena]

The severity of your anxiety attack makes me re evaluete my mental health, I thought that it could only be an anxiety attack if you are sobbing out of control, unable to breathe or walk.... Now I realize I had a constant anxiety attack for 2 months feeling sick all the time... Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[chrisbarajas]

I think I got so used to having “good days” in terms of little to no anxiety (like 3/10)

That I forgot to stop struggling. Mr Anxiety is so funny. I was starting to get anxious that I was anxious fixating on perfection rather than progression.

We got this. Just let the anxiety be there. Do not wait for it to leave. Change your reaction to “no reaction” this slowly breaks that fight/flight cycle.

Good luck guys 🤍

[jackierobinson]

We suffer from generational anxiety and panic in our family with all of the unprocessed feelings and trauma. So to hear you speak of them with such respect is a godsend. Thank you...

[dvdv]

I hope everyone is having a GREAT, anxious-free day! 🙂

[katherinelydon]

I had an emdr session to overcome an adult traumatic event and it went great! Then later that day I had a panic attack that I was no longer panicked! It was gone within 7 minutes. I just said okay, nervous system go ahead and feel it. I do allow myself to go through it safely sitting in a chair with deep breaths.

[plutonium]

"What you pay attention to, you get more of" That is well put...and so true!

[kristychan]

I'm so glad you mentioned catastrophizing of anxiety symptoms. I can totally relate to that as I suffer from health anxiety for more than a year now. Every pain and ache is a symptom of cancer to me and I have no idea how many times I have diagnosed myself. Thank you so much for all the tips and reminders. I have always returned to your videos for the calm energy and you won't know how much they have helped🙏🙏