Midweek with Dr. C- When You See What The Narcissist Cannot See

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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Dr. Carter has two other courses that you may find to be useful:

[MsChris]

It’s not only the narcissist who can’t see what what we can see, it’s also the surrounding, friends etc. who don’t see it. It’s so frustrating. Especially in the case of the covert narcissist.

[southernbelle]

Yes! Envy causes agitation in narcissists! My husband belittles me when I am interacting and conversing with others. He can’t interact or carry on a conversation with people. He dominates the conversation and isn’t interested at all in other people, so he loves to try to make me look small. I told him privately that the only person he makes look bad when he tries to make me look bad, is himself. I’ve tried to tell him that there are some very interesting people out there, and doesn’t he ever want to know about other people.

[ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Yes, they will "play nice" when they want something but make no mistake, once they don't need you, they'll resort back to their regular pattern of abusive behavior.

[teresacotton]

The Narcissist can't agree your right, because then they would be admitting they are wrong. Once you understand that you realize you have to never argue with a Narcissist. Walk

[southernbelle]

Yes, the narcissist always makes more problems when they are needed.

[t.l.]

If Narcissists were a military, they'd all be in Strike Force. Make no mistake...when a Narcissist is jovial or passively listening, especially in a group setting, they are in "Data Consumption Mode, " for future deployments of "Operation Gotchya."

[michelepascoe]

Oh yes, that's it! The healthy person wants to understand and be understood, and the narcissist pretends they do, but really only want validation for whatever they're saying and doing. It's a useful game because you trust and share what matters to you and they use it as ammunition.
Thanks for the clarification, Dr C

[virginiacombs]

They will call you out, label you with ugly names and then turn around and say I love you and your last name is still my last name, you just shake your head listen to these videos and move forward

[jameswillard-brown]

The narc always thinks they see what you can’t see and never wonders if they are the narc.

[ryanunderwood]

Hold people accountable for their ACTIONS not the words they speak! Thank you.

[MorganJServices]

Glory hallelujah, I avoided joining a very unhealthy group at my new church because of everything I have learned here!!! I resisted my usual behavior to naively jump in with both feet and 'find my place' by turning myself inside out to be a accepted. I observed behavior for the VERY first time in my life, listened to what was being said without words, honestly assessed the group dynamics & gave the volunteer activity a fair chance by showing up 4 times to work. The covert, deeply insecure narcissist woman acting as leader (but she was not the leader) let me know exactly who she was and I was a threat to her. She approached me once and started with the usual justification and love bombing. I simply said "I am not interested in having this conversation" until she walked away . After the 4th meeting, I went to the leader and told her that this wasn't the right church ministry for me and I would be moving on. I was properly stunned at myself. Me? Healthy behavior and thinking? What? How did that happen?

[fsoufkp]

Wow, so true. After Mom died, it came out very strongly with her husband. It was so ugly and hurtful with no insight into my personal connection to her.

[texasrefugee]

Good morning My YouTube father figure❤ Doctor Carter thanks to you I figured out I grew up very damaged in a narcissistic family and so I married Into one that was even worse! When I finally broke away from the control and shame and all the BS and started into therapy both families attacked. The horrible tragic and sick thing is I did the therapy so I could raise my children better than I had been raised no they're never gonna let that happen. They triangulated they turned my children into their flying monkeys. I actually had a terrible trauma bond with my children For years I couldn't do anything right I was not allowed to parent them by the selfish people who were manipulating them. It's been almost 4 years since I've had no contact with anybody and their families and I've never felt Happier. I did most of this healing on my own and Instinctively and although shares of therapy I never even heard the word narcissism or narcissistic abuse. then when I found you I understood everything. I think you save my life I know you save my soul by validating me and guiding me out of that. God-bless you

[l.ameenaa]

They rarely say how are you.
They tell not ask.
Others do loyalty for them gets tiring even to watch

[ryanunderwood]

39 year narcissist abuse survivor here ♥️

[bryanandrew]

The best thing to do is walk away from them you can't help them

[lynne-duql]

It's horrific that NPD people can be helpful, kind and loving, then when there's a problem they turn into a two year old toddler or worse. I wish I'd identified the red flags. Thanks Dr Les for allowing me to learn how to protect myself.

[tanteglitter]

Dear "uncle" Les, not only valuable to understand the narcissist for who they are but also so valuable for understanding our response to them and stay on our path of healing. You are much loved all around the world for helping us out. Your voice is kind and soothing....have a wonderfull day, to you and my fellow survivors...Nina

[rascallyrabbit]

i find that my only defense is my self respect. i am getting much better at walking away from anyone who continues to show disrespect. one bad comment is human but a continual barrage of meanness is unacceptable,

[susanparker]

My ex told me he had ADHD as a child and there were accounts of horrible childhood abuse. At one point I learned more about Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and how it mimmicks ADHD. I gave him info hoping he might find helpful info and useful strategies. Nothing was taken in, except his perception that I was putting him down. I've cut contact because of his alcohol abuse and bad behavior ( and was clear about being not willing to tolerate those), so now I'm accused of calling him ADHD, Alcoholic, pill He does not take NO for an answer, and still calls and comes by. I do not talk to him. I will call the police next time.