Midweek with Dr. C- Narcissists Process Life Very Differently

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[amandaliverpool]

They like to appear good and kind. Then, you manage to get a glimpse behind the mask. You figure them out. It hurts but you have to let go.They know that you know and still find a way to play the victim. What a mess!!!

[TAnderson-si]

Narcissist mistake kindness for weakness

[tombuddy]

Narcissist: I do not really know what I am, and why should I care about how I routinely behave. What matter most to me is how other people view me.

Self-confident person: I know what I am and care about how I routinely behave. How other people view me is much less important.

[BarbzSA]

When Dr C said that bit about narcs being unable to be vulnerable and vulnerability is necessary to love, I thought that that was pretty foundational to understanding narcissism.

[KathieMihindukulasuriya]

Re the question about the sister treating some people well, 2 things spring to mind. One: The narcissists public face is often quite different from their private face. In public, they may want to be known as a good mother and grandmother (often being syrupy nice to their kids/grandkids), but behind closed doors, the experience of those children may be very different. Two: Narcissist love to triangulate by treating someone nicely in front of you to make the point that "You would be treated like this, too - if you met my standards.", with the goal being to make you think that you must be the problem - since they are able to treat someone else nicely.

[ITSRAYANNNN]

Never mind forgiving the person that hurt. Maybe try working on forgiving yourself for having put yourself through that experience. It's not your fault .

[anautisticsguidetotheunive]

Lol I used the term "Radical Acceptance" with an acquaintance and the first thing out of her was "Do you listen to Dr. Carter?" Nice to meet one of us IRL!

[lockstar]

I think it's fair comment and I've heard Dr. C say as much, that on some level, Narcissists know that they don't do life or relationships right.
It stands to reason that since all that they can do is observe what people respond to positively and collect that information, what you're really up against is a person who is good at pretending to be someone they are not, to the nth degree.
I've found that this gets worse with age; their history of broken relationships is usually a known quantity and they know that .
There's no true defense against that and no reason to feel stupid or down on yourself✌

[rwdchannel]

What I realized is that at the core of this interaction(I'm not calling it a relationship because that's not what was happening) I was having with my parents was a desire to bring me down. No matter how nice or helpful my parents could be at times, in the end all they wanted to do was bring me down. That's narcissism in a nutshell(the desire to want to bring other people down).

[rayel]

Struggling with the silent treatment from my self righteous narcissistic.. 3 days of rude ignoring and clipped yes and no.. feel like am going insane by day three. Am tell myself to rise above don't get into the ring. Exhausted emotionally 😞 😫 😩

[whaleoilbeefhooked]

In my experience, 'they' criticize with the hurling of personal insults before their victim is able to complete a sentence that would otherwise have remedied a situation for the good.

[tombuddy]

I guess they consider themselves to be a "tough cookie", justifying and tolerating everything (bad) they do, as if they had to be that way.

Yet they would not take any advice that they do not have to be that way.

[aaronkwolfe]

Loved the community around this channel and stream

[lyricmelody]

"suddenly they go crickets" never heard that one😄😊😸

[BaraSchmidt]

The way a narc processes life is very broken. Their malfunctioning "CPU" causes them to behave in a number of dysfunctional ways, including:
Freezing: Become unresponsive - tantrums, silent treatments, dismissiveness are but a few indicators of this.
Blank screen: No reaction to the hurt they cause
Beeping sounds: Imperative commands they issue
Overheating: Anytime things are not in accordance with their demands.
Slow performance: Where any type of reasonable or collaborative behavior is expected of them.
Time to think Healthy! And...Stay Healthy!

[robinwildheart]

Hi Dr. C. You mentioned that there are support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse. I googled that and found a group right here in Brooklyn! I recently got my own place which is wonderful but I could use the support from people who understand. Thanks again for your insight Doc!

[pamelamoore]

I believe they are shallow, they don't go beneath the surface. It's all about appearances. I think going deeper can be taught to a degree but, that is the way they are made. Sad.

[janinealexander]

Sorry I'm having Christmas in July! I'm giving myself a pat on the back for leaving the
narcisistic ex that made crazy for there are still plenty more out there
so, don't let

[michellepurcell]

Why do Narcissistic people act sullen and defensive behind closed doors, and when they are in situations where they are talking to work colleagues on the phone, become loud, brash and super confident. My ex almost used to shout if he was on the mobile phone, chatty and all knowing, but when he ended the call and spoke to me, he almost mumbled in a voice of destain. Can they take in both Covert and Overt traits at the same time ??

[bereal]

Really good topic this week, thank you dr . C. Hugs to gus ✌