Midweek with Dr. C.- Standing Up To A Narcissist

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[michignamymichigan]

They accused me of hating people. I asked who they think I hate. No answer. I later wondered, who do they hate? I realised they were projecting. Then the sad, ominous truth came to me, they hate themselves.

[DaveJohnson-Php]

"Narcissists thrive on conflict". They create it then blame you for it.
I think I'm going to go live alone in the woods.🙂

[ozzyhouston]

What makes a narcissist attractive as a person is their narcissistic confidence, and what makes a narcissist repulsive is their narcissistic confidence. They cast a spell, but it wears off.

[danielomorain]

The next time a Testament is written, a chapter should be for Saint Les. Yes.

[slimwest]

Prayers for healing for everyone here.

[makerofsightandsound]

We all appreciate you being on the journey with us.

[somerskye]

Reaching a place of Radical Acceptance is when the real healing begins. To accept the truth for what it is- exactly as it is, will set u free. Accepting that they cannot change.

[moxiepooties]

My narcissist insisted on imposing a different kind of "boundary" on me. I was to keep my mouth shut and allow myself to be physically and emotionally "imprisoned" by the narcissist. It was like being in jail, or just a doll that the narc could play with the way a child acts out with their dolls. EVERYTHING is on the narc's term, and they are very competitive.

A narcissist is like a two year-old kid, all emotion, and they cannot handle hearing "no" when they walk all over you. When they are frustrated in their control goals, they have a tantrum of some type, just like a toddler, and/or punish you in a passive/aggressive way. I suspect they learned from their primary caregiver: "Do and think and say what I want to hear from you or I won't love you any more." So they become very twisted and start behaving that way towards their scapegoat of choice, but turn the charm on to get what they want from more casual contacts. Yet they may tell people you are "close", maybe to give the impression to people they want for flying monkeys that they really love you and YOU are abusing THEM: "I''m so wonderful and so loyal, but they are so awful and they mistreat me all the time!"

They don't reason and negotiate and discuss points of view for a more harmonious relationship. They believe that because when they "feel" they are entitled to something, that means they ARE entitled to it. They don't recognize their immaturity, though someone may say of them, "He doesn't tolerate frustration well." They think, "I want X therefore I should have X, and if you don't give me X, then you hate me and you are a disgusting and horrible person." Just like a toddler!

My narcissist wanted to make me into an "empty doll" that could be played with and projected onto when it was useful to them, and then throw me in a corner when some "bauble" caught their eye.

I really turned my life around and stopped suffering over this situation when I realized that the narcissist I was once close to was the false face, the shell/make-believe persona that the narcissist learned to adopt to try to get approval from authority figures, like parents, teachers, neighbors, strangers. It made me profoundly sad, but realizing how sick and empty and troubled the narcissist is allowed me to move on with my life and breathe free for a change! What a relief! And I realized that I had not had any real fun with this person for years. I spent too much time watching my back. THAT's POINTLESS. I asked myself if I would have ever CHOSEN to be emotionally involved with someone I knew to be like this. The answer was "NOPE!"

I finally chose to have my say about something the narcissist didn't want to hear a differing point of view about, so I was discarded in a passive-aggressive way: no discussion about what I "did wrong", just a statement that I said something "offensive". I didn't beg and plead for any explanation, which is probably what they wanted.

If the buffet is empty, there is no point in going back for another helping. Ditto if the food is spoiled and poisonous. Find a new place to get a meal. Be glad and celebrate that you are no longer a prisoner!

[sylviaamodeo]

You have to be Little to Belittle.

Perfectly describes a narcissist character!

[desormais]

A support system is soooo key!!!! It’s what helped me to see what healthy community and relationships look like! Gave me the strength and courage to believe in myself, and make better choices. Learned to trust myself!!!❤❤

[Ck-vzre]

“No does not mean No to them, ” is absolutely true!

[iamgoddessoflove]

"Don't make up excuses to stay with a narcissist because you have children with them, due to financial matters, or because you're afraid to leave. Get some help right away! You deserve so much better!
💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

"

[cymbolichuman]

If you don't stick to your beliefs, boundaries and your word....
They'll eat you alive. As long as you allow those who are self
serving to intimidate you, they'll eat you alive. And it ain't easy to set
those boundaries, you have to protect yourself with an outer skin

[karenwinstanley]

They provoke the thing that makes you feel belittled by them time and time again because they love seeing you emotionally destroyed

[gillianbrookwell]

My Ex Narcissistic husband isolated me for years; First from my mother and brother, and then, when I finally did stand up to him for the first time in 40 years, he isolated me from my adult children by taking me 100 kilometres to another area that I wasn't familiar with, knowing that I had health issues. These narcissists are vile individuals, and feed off the vulnerable.

[RealBeachy]

My 80 yr old mom and I have been listening for o your channel for many yrs now. My narcissistic dad passed this past May and now we are only left with my narcissistic sister. I wanted to take a minute and thank you for the plethora of knowledge you have provided for my mom and I over the past years. You have 2 huge fans on #TeamHealthy cheering you on from the sidelines 🙌❤🥰

[michellehill]

Our boundaries work regardless whether the narcissist approves or not. Our boundaries are for us. We are not going to change the narcissist by setting boundaries. Nope. Never! Not in this life-time! 😊🕊😊

[sleeperno]

Setting boundaries causes an ego death of sorts for the narcissist. They go through all of the stages of grief in reacting to my boundaries. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and acceptance. Setting boundaries is a "spiritual practice, " not an event. You have to reassert your boundaries clearly and often. We set boundaries for ourselves, not the other person. The react with anger and all of the various tools in their toolbox, all of which used to work, to get you to comply. They are doing what narcissists do, using the various behaviors in their toolbox to gain compliance. Only when they've been through their entire set of tools, do they arrive at a point of acceptance. But, the second they detect weakness, they pull out their toolbox and try again.

[Stacy]

In my healing journey from codependency, I realized that I had to learn to prioritize my own feelings and let go of my attachments to my toxic family members. I ended the nonexistent relationships I had with my narcissistic brothers and also my own son who has alienated me from my grandson. As someone who has repeatedly had relationships with narcissists, I knew I had to be able to walk away from any relationship at any time. And to not get into relationships so quickly. But now I do also see them much more easily.

[D-rzqz]

Thank you for offering me deliverance from this plague... and showing me change. Please speak on sibling narcissism.