CPTSD: SELF BLAME | DR. KIM SAGE

*FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:

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Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)

CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements for myself) for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[GenGrace-kgjb]

Another thing to remember is that once you have realised you were not a bad child and you did nothing wrong, which is empowering, you may have to deal with tremendous anger. You will wish people dead. Very sincerely dead. CPTSD does not mean just being a self-hurting person. The healing comes after you have dealt with the rage.

[DrKimSage]

Hello All! I will be posting about ASD/CPTSD again tomorrow if you are following the series, and if that doesn't interest you, I will be posting content around Attachment, CPTSD, Relationships etc interspersed between that series for the next couple of weeks! xo

[ericechevarria]

There’s a thin line between self blaming ourselves vs acknowledging the areas where we are responsible for changing. The priority of reflection (to differentiate between those two, ) should always be to better ourselves and not to destroy our self-image or self esteem. I have learned (and still learning) to voice my needs and hold people accountable without diminishing my responsibility. They bear the responsibility for changing themselves. Every conflict (as painful as those might be, ) always provide an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves and the other person. If the other person refuses to accept their responsibility and/or learn from their toxic behavior, then that’s on them; I am not responsible for their lack of maturity, and/or for changing/rescuing them; nor I should blame myself.

Thanks for sharing life and light through these videos Dr. Sage.

[lindadeise]

I always feel like I'm in trouble. When my boss wants to talk to me, when my boyfriend wants to talk to me, anyone. My first reaction is a HUGE fear that I'm in trouble, they're mad at me. I wish I could stop this.

[charlesjones]

Was diagnosed with cptsd many years ago. There are no doctots of your type in my rural area. Your keeping me alive with hope. God bless.

[cherylmockotr]

Oh man was this timely! I've lived in fear of getting in trouble, daily, for the past 57 years 😖 I've got issues with my house, my finances, and my work obligations that stem from my avoidance, so I always have the feeling of the other shoe is about to drop at any minute. Because I really do have concrete issues, I've never thought about it in terms of my cptsd from childhood... but that's exactly what it is! And I'm certain that fear is why I procrastinate so badly in the first place. I constantly feel drained and paralyzed such that regular maintenance tasks are too overwhelming. This little nugget of an insight could be a game changer!

[Buster-imso]

Wasn't taught reciprocity. Bingo! I'm currently undoing all these traits I discover in my daily activities. Healing words, my thanks Dr. Sage.

[allwellandgood]

I appreciate you taking the time to make this content so much ❤ I am realising my belief is that "its my job to fix this and make them feel better" working on realising I can't and actually its not my job to, is really challenging 🙏

[JuliaShalomJordan]

Thank you for always sharing your personal revelations. A humble and vulnerable leader is the most powerful kind.❤

[rtt]

This is timely! I met a new friend while I was in NYC. She wasn’t feeling well and after two days eventually went to hospital in ambulance. I had been bringing her mild food, juice and bubbly water to her hotel room on the floor above mine. I never got her last name so I couldn’t get details of her hospital admission or even learn which hospital they took her to in NYC. I’ve been riddled w guilt and shame about not being able to help her during the medical emergency or find out her condition before I had to leave NYC to come home. Her phone had lost its charge and I’ve not been able to reach her!!!! This video is very helpful.

My mother reached out to me when I was in NYC for vacation and she wanted “to talk”. My mother was a nightmare. A

[lizvtaz]

I think you have to acknowledge that this is the way you feel and feel it through. Then it goes away. I feel like with cptsd oftentimes we do not really allow ourselves to feel the emotion. We know it is there but we are unhappy with it and are running away from it. I believe you need tp acknowledge that yes you feel responsible for what happened, you feel worthless, ok, just allow yourself to dwell on it. I don't kniw if it works for everyone but I prosessed my traumas this way. It works even with very difficult stuff (withing reason)

[aleksandrakrivokuca]

Thank you so much on every video you posted, it is so helpfull. Your channel is life changing for so many of us, thank you Dr. Sage ❤

[AnemicRoyaltyRX]

Some important things to practice.
❤Accepting things that we have no power over.
❤ Saying no when appropriate.
❤Positive affirmations
❤Self care.

Be well everyone! And thank you for your videos Dr Sage! I wished i had you as my therapist.

[mday]

I have to learn my mistakes are not me & I'm not a mistake. Both of these are my inner child. But I'm not my mistakes & I'm still working on that I'm not a mistake.

[Inveggible]

My god. I had no idea this was a thing.. I always felt very hyper vigilant throughout childhood and now my adulthood. My narc parents made the house revolve around them and how they were feeling depending on the day with literally no regard to how we felt.. I never feel at ease. I’m always fearing being left and upset over how others perceive me in each moment .. thank you for posting these. It’s been helping so much

[knitpurl]

When I was 7, after my mother married my enabler stepfather, I told my bio dad something disparaging about my mother. He told my mother what I said, instead of showing concern for me. He just used me to get back at her. Never cared about the abuse it unleashed on me, and it did. I believe this is when my mother stopped visitations with my bio dad. I told. He never fought to see us kids. I was controlled, blamed, put down.

[cathychase]

OMG - so Always feeling like gonna get into trouble and go to Hell (I am a Pastor's Daughter)

[suns]

ALL THE TIME. Rarely cognizant of the impact of this undercurrent.

[LisaLeeLeeBlue]

I wish I could erase the damage done. I’m afraid to do anything because I feel like it’s going to be wrong. How do I change My therapist just retired and I am about to start with a new one and I am scared it’s going to not work out. I don’t even give myself a chance. It is sooo self destructive. I couldn’t even speak as a kid. I stopped talking to anyone. Ughhhh.

[selah]

This actually put me a little on edge listening to it because it was so true for me! Therapy appointment this afternoon- maybe time for some reparenting on this topic