How to talk to the worst parts of yourself | Karen Faith | TEDxKC

NOTE FROM TED: This talk contains a discussion of suicidal ideation. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please consult a mental health professional and/or support organization, as this talk is not a substitute for mental health advice.

People researcher and empathy trainer Karen Faith found it easier to welcome strangers than the strange parts of herself, until a breakthrough moment changed that for good. In this honest and funny talk, she shares the story for everyone who struggles with self-acceptance. Karen Faith is an ethnographer and strategist whose work has guided teams and initiatives at Google, Amazon, Indeed, The NBA, The ACLU, Blue Cross Blue Shield, The Federal Reserve Bank, and The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, among many others.

[KEllis-luwp]

"Love is what happens when we STOP trying to figure out who deserves it." - Karen Faith (wow! I love this quote!)

[zan]

“I will listen to you, but I will not obey you.” That really made me cry.

[Mupeta.]

This felt like stand up comedy, therapy and a poetry session all in one. Beautiful.

[Chrussell]

Her talk reminded me of a Rumi poem.

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

[mfaani]

Best note: "We've been told love is hard. It's not. Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it. It's right there.. and we welcome someone, anyone exactly as they are in the moment."

[yukikowu]

I’m a TED Talk addict and have listened to hundreds of them - and this one is one of the most compelling AND practically useful.

[moka]

The technique Karen is talking about is called Internal Family Systems (IFS). I had a therapist use this to help me and it did wonders. You can also use it yourself. It works if you can ask yourself questions in a self-compassionate way. It does feel like you are crazy when another voice (which is yours) speaks back, but parts of us have been stuck in traumatic moments.

[amandapatino]

"Everyone that you show unconditional welcome may show you a part of yourself to love"

[juliasteinweh-adler]

So her name is basically CARE AND FAITH…. THAT IS SO APPROPRIATE

[Winved]

So strange how, sometimes, you stumble upon exactly what you need in that moment. Thank you.

[aabracadavra]

She is phenomenal. A force of nature. I didn't even realize I had tears running down my face for a moment, that's how deeply she reaches. She bypasses the conscious mind and ego and speaks directly to your subconscious, the truth.

I wish that everyone had at least a fraction of her wisdom and intelligence. We would be a thriving, evolved global society in no time.

[alongcoh]

I watched this multiple times to make sure all my inner selves saw it. ❤️

[Mardoux-yuiu]

If you can't love yourself, start by loving others, actually that way you respect yourself and it is loving yourself too

[camilllejozwiak]

Seeing myself as a prism instead of a broken mirror is wonderful

[margaretpaul]

“Love is what happens when you stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” I’m now inspired to practice growing my “sphere of unconditional welcome”. 💗

[walterpaton]

I have learned more from Tedtalk about myself than all the 65 years of myself. Sorry I haven't stopped by recently. But I'm back

[elizabethg]

Came to a lot of these realizations as a tattoo artist. We have to sit with people we don't agree with for hours sometimes. It's our job to make something beautiful for them.

[percyb]

I’m just so blessed that every time I hit a wall, the universe sends me a lifeline. And this talk was it this time around.

[lionofistanmusic]

Wow, definitely made me cry. That moment when you realize that we all have parts, and some of them just need a hug, like how you would hug a little kid.
I believe she is talking about Internal Family Systems.

[jeannies]

"Love is a house you can crawl in through a window" this is so poetic