DISSOCIATION: WHY IT HAPPENS TO US IN C-PTSD AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT

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Dissociation is a response to overwhelming emotion, often experienced in trauma, and in childhoods defined by Complex PTSD experiences like having a parent with BPD or similar, or other types of insecure and disorganized attachment

This video explores the roots of dissociation, how dissociation in C-PTSD functions (often within disorganized attachment systems), and how the Structural Dissociation Model explains the role of trauma types, and our traumatized child selves ---in terms of how we show up today, why and when we might dissociate, and what can be done.

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In addition, DISSOCIATION as part of my HEALING SHAME IN CPTSD Journaling Series will be explored by using ❤️3 Journal Prompts ❤️specifically around dissociative responses for people with Complex Trauma --and those who want to further explore shame and dissociation, and healing.

💕💕💕💕For the Journal Exercise regarding the Structural Dissociation Model:💕💕💕💕

🌺. THE "PARTS" OR "TRAUMA TYPES". (USE FOR THE JOURNAL EXERCISE TOO!)🌺

🦋Fight. - Vigilance
angry, judgmental, mistrustful self, destructive, controlling, suicidal

🦋Flight - Escape
distancing, ambivalent, cannot commit, addictive behavior

🦋Freeze - Fear
frozen, terrified, wary, phobic of being seen, panic attacks

🦋Collapse/Submit- Shame
depressed, ashamed, passive, "good girl" caretaker, self-sacrificing

🦋Please/Appease- Accommodate (to avoid triggering other)
people pleasing, stuffing emotion to make nice, fawn

🦋Attach/Cry for Help- Needy
desperate, craves rescue, connection, innocent, wants a protector

xo

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@drkimsage
Dr. Kim Sage on Tik Tok (lol - soon:). so far it's just a few test videos!💕

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗at the end of the video are some GROUNDING EXERCISES FOR DISSOCIATION🤗🤗🤗🤗

[mikeylorene]

Now I understand why if someone starts screaming at me I can't hear or remember what they said. I wonder what it's like to have loving parents? Or any loving person at all? I miss my cat- the only thing on earth who ever looked at me with loving eyes.

[theologytherapist]

While dissociation is not a healthy long-term coping mechanism, it's good to reflect on how our bodies are allowing dissociation to work to keeping us safe and protected. It may not be nice and enjoyable, but our bodies deserve appreciation for their hard work to keep us alive.

[boblevey]

You really nailed me on this one! I sadly dissociated early on. Super narcissistic borderline mother, angry distant super type A father. Both very powerful people. So much more but not enough room here. Married a narcissistic borderline woman, 35 yrs then I was done, finished and worn out!!!
Trauma, abuse in my early life. I really just tried to cope for years until I went into recovery in my early 20’s. I’m 73 now and just now getting the labels right. I accomplished a lot but I sure wished I had had these videos and tools years ago.

Thank you, your vids are excellent and spot on!!!
Blessings

[melissac]

I call some of my dissociative episodes "going into autopilot". Especially after going through severe trauma, like when we had to remove my son from life support. I was on my "autopilot" for over a year. It was to the point that I was told that I was handling my son's death "very well". Truth be told, I have never dealt with it and it's been over 4 years.

[throttle]

I love how your face brightened when your daughter came into the room. That was really sweet. It's so nice to see things like that in real life.

[pygmalionsrobot]

One good tip for re-associating yourself to reality is to pick up a new instrument, hobby, or craft. Start studying piano, guitar, whatever. Sculpt. Do some new activity which requires a lot of learning. This is extremely helpful to help you become Re-Realized.

[helenachase]

I was raped in elementary school by a construction worker who was working there. I was floating out of my body... Today I was listening to an old song and his first name was in the song. After decades it all came back and I felt such shame, pain and loathing. My family couldn't hear me speak about it. This sucks, I'm freaking old now and hate myself. I sure got screwed over

[smashy_smasherton]

It’s like the ‘death of a thousand cuts’ torture, except even when our torturers are out of the picture (or should be), we take the task onto ourselves.

[cathychase]

My father gives me digs my whole life and favors my brothers...I called to sing happy birthday and he said before I finished "you were never in the choir" -it hurt me so bad I hung up and told him he was mean. He waited a few days and called and "wanted to talk to me!" lecture- I am terrified of him- he's 97 and still so hurtful. I tried to find out about his parents and he shut me up quick and said "they were fine, don't even go there!" What? He's does a lot of comments on my weight and says my friends are patient to be my friends....I had seizures as a kid and they thought I was doing the seizures on purpose- I have epilepsy

[debbiemyres]

I can't get past that I am too sensitive and it is my fault that I get criticized about it. Struggled with this for 62 out of 67 years.

[debbiemyres]

People are so complex....living is easy but living well is hard. Thank you Dr. Sage.

[sirlaw]

Really good mental health professionals are hard to find in my opinion. Not many like you. This video gives me a good place to start.

[rebekahpuma]

The first time I noticed it was as a child, I was being verbally abused and suddenly it was like I was frozen and hearing sounds muffled underwater. Now I struggle with space out dissociation daily & wish I didn't though I survived my hellish childhood with it

[annettefournier]

Dissociation is how I've survived my whole life. You kind of get used to viewing your life like a movie. Now I'm elderly.

[jcc]

My entire life for 57 years until i got away from my psychotic abusive mother. It’s tragic that when we’re born to an individual such as i was, we know nothing else - we don’t know they’re options. Even as an adult i was the ‘good’ girl and stayed by mom being tormented every day by her. Finally somehow a light came on - looking back, I seriously don’t know how i have survived.

[miapdx]

My family was super abusive, my early years were terror, fear, and my only escape was to shut down. They threw me into the street when I was 15. On my own, entirely. At 18 I was just finding my footing...as I waited in the early morning for the bus to take me to my job, I was kidnapped at gunpoint by a serial killer. It took me a week to escape. A week of being brutally beaten and raped. I was his only survivor.
Dissociation is an escape, one I don't like...it's not by choice. I don't like losing time. I don't like a feeling of not being in control.

[epistte]

I have Complex trauma and your descriptions of dissociation were so common that I didn't know that it wasn't normal I write it off as daydreaming or even a form of thinking. That was 50% of my life. I didn't even that the word disassociation existed until after my diagnosis. My mother used to beat me and then beat me again from crying or begging her to stop.

[brittanywaller]

I was diagnosed with C PTSD and DID, this is insane how you nailed it right on the head. I always thought I was just a spacey person or a day dreamer because I have always just done this now I know why.

[margyrowland]

I was born into abuse, by my mother. I learnt to disassociate on purpose when I was about six. I could look down on my body and my mind was separate. I am 66 now and I’m not fully integrated but that’s OK because I’m a Christian and I know when my body dies my soul will be completely released and I’m praying, go to Heaven.

[TrixieTaylor-bndw]

Dissociation is how survived my childhood.