Why Are Malignant Narcissists Bent Toward Destruction?

It is difficult to conceive why some narcissists are malignant, bent toward bringing unnecessary destruction into relationships and into groups. Dr. Les Carter delves into the interior of malignant narcissists, explaining what prompts them to approach life as they do. The more you know about their inner tensions, the more capably you can protect yourself from their manipulations.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[lorrieh]

When you are the scapegoat child of a malignant narcissist, it’s very hard to accept that your own parent would try to destroy you, . It’s one hell of a realization.

[harleyquinn]

Destruction is a faster route to feeling a sense of achievement than the route of creation. Creating anything takes time and patience.

[realhealing]

No contact was my only option. These people will destroy your mental and physical health.

[Elizabeth-ygmg]

My mother was malignant--the only time she laughed was when someone was being hurt or killed. Truly rotten woman--she recently died and I felt nothing.

[l.]

I have always considered myself a 'boring' person. Now that I have kicked all the narcs from my inner circle, I consider myself not a boring person....but a peaceful person. I realize now I was never really a boring I just was in the middle of a whole lot of drama not of my making.

[IzabelaWaniek-ix]

It is absolutely terrifying when you are being targeted, tracked, stalked, controlled and triangulated by a malignant narcissist who is playing a saint.

[chelleb]

It is most likely that their psyche was so damaged at a critical age by abuse that they are deeply, irreparably broken. I grew up with malignant narcissists who went out of their way to destroy themselves and everyone around them. I have seen the "dupers delight" smile as they sit back and watch the fallout from the chaos they create. I've seen those dead, soulless eyes staring right through me with absolutely zero empathy as I unraveled mentally and physically. It was too dangerous to continue to be around them so no contact was really my only option with them.

[hissyfitz]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ “When you feel pain; they feel gain.”⭐️⭐️⭐️

[judypolstra]

I love it "the older they get....". Before therapy, I actually made allowances for an elderly malignant narcissist. My therapist set me straight. Being elderly is not an excuse for malignant narcissism.

[joen]

I think the worst thing about narcissism is growing up in a narcissistic family. I just have a hard time accepting that I'm a good person, good enough, and that I'm not unlovable.

[ritatharp]

Twisted logic when dealing with a narcissist. You can't be logical with an illogical person. 🤷. Thank you for sharing Dr. Carter.

[texaspatty]

Very dangerous creatures, they don't mind self destruction, so they certainly aren't going to mind destroying You !! It's all part of the game of horror they play .

[mgb]

My MN could be very empathetic, as long as it didn't challenge him. And at the beginning of the relationship, he was so good to me and my daughter. I really was very happy. After over 30 years of marriage, I was so broken, afraid, depressed to the concept of suicide. Finally I did get out, but it is a very difficult slog in my 60s.

[Beanp]

Thank you for a sobering episode, but absolutely needed. I used to think people with no empathy are "psychopaths", serial killers, etc. but in fact many psychopaths do not commit crimes and use cognitive empathy, and there are malignant narcissists who are very careful about not committing the types of crimes that will land them in jail, or are very careful in selecting victims whom they could destroy without consequences to themselves. Many psychopaths confess that they have no emotions, know they cannot love, cannot care for others, don't feel attachment or empathy, but they refrain from harming others cognitively. The non-malignant narcissists are difficult selfish controlling judgmental people but not to the point of plotting, stealing, gaslighting, destroying, ruining, etc. Malignant narcissists and narcissistic psychopaths have a "Monarch" attitude, ie. the only thing that would stop them in their tracks is potentially suffering consequences, and if they are above the law they will commit crimes all the way, even to killing. Think of all the genocides and massacres ever committed. If there's a definition of real evil, a malignant narcissist comes close. Another thing to warn others about - they are absolutely FANTASTIC at "reading" people and projection. They are very good at smelling your fears, worries, wariness, suspicions, doubts, concerns, etc. and using them to their advantage, as a tool. They also project their own malignancy onto you, ie. they assume that you're also a malignant person, perhaps too stupid or weak to be truly magnificent like they are.

[butterfly]

If anyone ever had to deal with a Malignant Narcissist when they do get physical sick ..OMG they turn into the biggest pathetic babies, they can't handle any pain, but they sure can dish it out and barf when they taste their own medicine.

[nb]

This is my father. Both parents were Ns but dad is a MN. Everyone in the family gets written off at sometime or other. The evil in his eyes when he lashes out in a rage. Currently I am the one written out. Wish I had walked aways decades ago but I agreed to help care for them in their old age. The past 6 years have been awful. Again, wish I had walked away. These videos are wonderful as they help me understand is actions. We used to say he was cranky, mean, in a bad mood, etc. We covered up for his behavior and made excuses. Who wants to think a parent could be so mean on purpose. Well they can. At 59 my eyes are open.

[madguruJ]

It is scary to think these husks of human beings are incapable of change for the better. Its honestly a revelation to know that humanity can sink as low as this, even experiencing it first hand as I have with my ex girlfriend, whom I have gone no contact with for a year now. Never felt pain like it, but am healing well, thanks to people like you Dr.C.

[Natybsg]

'They have to be on the top', 'Your pain means gain to them', 'They enjoy seeing you struggle'. When we suffer, they just think - and tell us - how weak we are.
That somehow made me remember how they oftenly make you a trap ("no win" situations, double bindings, making things difficult) and then blame you for not succeeding in a situation. Or how they daily criticize, terrify and try to destroy your self confidence and then accuse you of being insecure or fearful. How they hurt, attack, torment and then accuse you of being "too sensitive", confused or "having issues".
They really make situations for you to fail and to see you suffer, only to feel superior 😯

[shelley]

Yep, they'll drive their lives into a ditch and then point their finger at everyone else in their lives. They are unteachable. :(

[micheleshively]

All I can say is, when you realize who you're dealing with, the lightbulb that goes off in your head may make you scream with joy AND frustration