The Malignant Narcissist's Internal World | FRANK YEOMANS

What's it like to be a malignant narcissist? Does their narcissistic defense relieve them of their internal emptiness? What is the difference between a sociopath and a malignant narcissist? Why would a narcissist ever go to therapy? Is there such a thing as family for a malignant narcissist?

Frank Yeomans describes the internal world of malignant narcissism, also drawing a link between narcissism and substance abuse.

We talked with Frank Yeomans about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and how it can affect us on a personal and societal level.

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Frank Yeomans is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in his practice treating NPD and BPD. In fact, he co-wrote the manual on TFP for Borderline Personality Disorder!

[sammahmood]

My father was considered to be a malignant narcissist by a psychiatrist. My mother is a covert narcissist. At a young age my brother and I realized they weren’t just abusive but actively sabotaging us and receiving joy from it. They’re empty inside.

[dama]

THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it!

[Nancy-ywrr]

From my experience in being married to a malignant narcissist for 30 years, I saw no outward evidence that he wanted an emotional connection, and believe me, I looked. He wanted to dominate and be admired, but he also wanted to remain aloof and separate. He even made fun of me for trying to talk to him about my need to be close and have a deep connection with him and share our lives. People are just tools to narcs to be discarded when they decide you have outlived your usefulness. They are BRUTAL.

[lisarochwarg]

I've always seen a link between narcissism and psychosis. If you hang around them for a while, the feeling that their sanity is fragile is inescapable.

[le_th_]

My heart breaks for children born to these individuals.

[nathaliedufour]

My mother is a malignant narc and she never ever would have gone for therapy. We were all " problematic " except her. She is beyond repair and I have no contact with that family I refuse to call mine.

[newanas]

Narcissist have desire for connection but only to ppl that they can dominate and exploit.

[MGabc]

"Extreme malignant narcissism is on the border of psychosis" YES

[DC-kxqj]

It took me several years to finally wrap my head around the whole thing. I just couldn't believe someone could be so twisted and mean.

[ladyroses]

This was my world, two sociopathic parents, abandoned at 5 years old...thank God for my grandparents.

[saraswatisky]

We live in a world run by people with these psychological diseases. So, it's not just inside families or personal relationships.

[michaelwesa]

I thought I married a good woman, then I started seeing signs of her tryna isolate me from my family and friends, cause public scenes when she didn't get her way, didn't like gettin told no, took me bout 5 months to get away from her, now I'm going on 16 years of a wonderful marriage and 3 kids to a woman who helped me forget those bad times...

[kevintaylor]

Personality disorder doesn’t just pop out of thin air. It is created within the family.

[zan]

Once you've had first hand experience with one you'll never let your guard down again.

[FeonaLeeJones]

Dated a malignant narcissist for 5 months and when I confronted him if he was sleeping with anyone, he got mad at me for asking him. Turns out he was cheating the entire time and just omitted that piece of information. I was so devastated. But I learned to not take it personally since he needed his supply. Their self-esteem is so fragile so they constantly need that reinforcement.

[shewins]

I love his calmness. He’s extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and wise. Very well spoken.

[markhatfield]

In my last year of marriage before I divorced my narcissist, she admitted to having what I called the 'Golden Rule'. Everything in her life was determined by two criteria: 1 Will I get caught, 2. If I get caught what will happen. For anything she chooses to do if she determines that she will not get caught or if caught the consequences will be insignificant than it is a 'go' to go ahead and do it. 'Getting away with things' also proves (to her) that she is smarter than other people.

[z]

I'm more convinced a narcissist won't change. If Dr Phil and Dr Ramani say it's not the best prognosis meaning no chance of change, I believe it.

[Cariad]

I wish this type of information and help had been available in my formative years. The damage and destruction can take more than one lifetime to heal from.

[thegrassisgreener]

The moment we cure narcissism is the moment we cure cancer