Malignant Narcissists: Stay Away!

My name is Jim Brillon. I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in the state of California.

I will work to help you integrate your past with your present and your mind with your body. My approach blends developing greater self-awareness with knowledge of how the mind and emotions work, to empower you to create change in your life. I strive to help you learn to better appreciate, understand and express your emotions. And I hope to lead you to self-compassion and a more mindful awareness of your life and lived experience. I want to help you build a life you love, with meaning and an enhanced ability to cope, adapt and thrive.

You can find more info below⬇

[Ziaoe]

"Anytime you hear an accusation, that's actually a confession. " - Yes I believe that. They get a thrill out of seeing normal people feel uncomfortable. Creepy, aggressive, controlling behavior.

[realhealing]

A secretive person is never a safe person. No contact was my only option. Malignant narcissists can't be trusted.

[IB-zzyc]

Don't ever feel sorry for a malignant narcissist. They will not be feeling sorry for what they have done to you. In fact they will feel a sense of pleasure, dominance and power that they were able to hurt you. It's what they get off on. Don't ever start feeling sympathetic to them.

[Fancy]

“The best way to cope in a relationship with a narcissist is to get out of it” — you nailed it, sir. Run for your life.

[pavla]

I think both sociopaths and malignant narcissists are evil. . They may have arrived at the same station on different trains but their playbooks are similar enough .

[sody]

Thank goodness for the internet and YouTube. Narcissists are under the spotlight now. We are learning all about them.

[annchurchill]

Trauma does not excuse behavior. Thank you! Even at age 81, he never changed. Still dangerous .He has driven his second wife into being psychotic.

[symbolsandsystems]

psychopath: sees others as cattle/food
narcissist: sees others as domain

[FaithitohanTV]

The only pain I have is ‘I wish I got out sooner’

[RealnowFP]

I was with a Covert Narcissist-Sociopath for 23 years. After he passed away I met the “Malignant Narcissist”. Fortunately after the death of my partner I read multiple, leading books on the subject to understand what NPD is. I then met the new Narcissist.
He fits the exact description you describe as very successful, very intense, lots of sexual energy, charismatic, paranoid, manipulative and very controlled in everything. He absolutely fits The Dark Triad perfectly. I spent only two months with him and quickly shut him down and walked away.
Knowledge is power!!

[SenSakura-djbq]

Power, control, status, etc. Their obsession. They are impulsive, intense, irreflexive, selfish, lack empathy. They know how to fake being a normal person. I ended up simplifying the whole topic in: they are bad people, evil. It doesn't matter their trauma or whatever the reason may be.

[princessinmittens]

I can tell it simply, this is the worst kind of person. The most physical and emotional pain I'd ever gone through.

[anabellaparis]

He is not isolating me. But he does everything to poke me and waits for a reaction. Then he observes me closely without talking. He enjoys. He takes pleasure. Very weird

[megpi]

This describes someone that I considered a friend. Unfortunately I’m going to have to let him go.

[Babsza]

They're also sometimes made by parents who've spoilt them and put them first all the time therefore making them feel superior ! They are Severely TOXIC !

[IndigoRoses]

I am very certain my ex was a malignant. He was a sexual deviant, a serial cheater, master manipulator and liar. He persued me relentlessly when we met, and at that time i took that persuit as genuine interest. At the beginning, I met him I was not educated on anything to do with NPD, the different forms of it and the warning signs were. I knew there was something off, but at the beginning of the relationship I thought "loves never easy, I love this person and want to give him a chance and help him" ..what a grave mistake that was.
The first few years there was triangulation with talking about his exes often, I do looking back feel certain he more than likely cheated throughout the relationship. It took several years for the full mask slip. It got to a point where he was not only verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive on an almost daily basis, he knew it was really hurting me and I'd notice that me telling him he was hurting me, pleased him. Some of the worst fights were AFTER I broke up with him.
For trigger reasons for others here, I won't say everything he did.. but he was making me feel physically fearful and terrified for my safety. I spent several months after the breakup where I never left my home unless I had to, or was going to work. My heart would race everytime I had to leave my home or anytime I was walking to my car.
He stalked me by phone, calling hundreds of times..anytime of the night and day. Me begging him to stop, made it even worse. He was sadistic and cruel, and he enjoyed it.
I began looking over my shoulder everytime I left the house, and I still look over my shoulder 2 years after the breakup.
I mention these things not to upset anyone here, it's in case someone Herr suspects they are in a relationship with this type of person or experiencing similar things..please, find a plan to leave. Get law enforcement involved if needed. Every bit of fear I've felt, was worth leaving that relationship and cutting that person out of my life.

[teresamacey]

Dr. Sandra Brown says not all people who get involved with these people are codependent. The intimate partner often has super traits. Dr. Brown runs the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction if anyone wants to understand those. It took 44 years and loss of my health before I understood what a dangerous situation I was in. This information was not available to me until during the last years of my marriage and I am so happy that so much is available now. My malignant narc died suddenly after the discard and while trying to take everything. I am in recovery now for five years, pursuing renewed goals, and helping other women.

[CokeysCasino]

Literally just described my life for the last 25 years and he seemed to get worst as he aged because that insecurity grew because he physically started to age

[leeboriack]

My former partner was a malignant narcissist with a masters in philosophy and a PhD in law, which made marriage counseling like an afternoon in a courtroom. How he discard me, was similar to how he discarded his 1st partner. My loneliness and denial ignored the warning signs when dating.

[happycat]

When a malignant narcissist has their eyes set on you as their next target one will find that their behavior will be extremely cult like. The malignant narcissist will spread lies and gossip and try to do whatever it will take to destroy your image and your friendship with anyone and everyone you know. The malignant narcissist is the worst of the worst of all narcissists. If you are dealing with one of these extremely mentally ill and evil people, take your losses and walk away. These narcissists will hold a grudge and make one's life extremely uncomfortable till you end up having to leave town.

The really odd thing about malignant narcissism is that malignant narcissism is caused by severe emotional / mental trauma. For those who have an in-depth understanding of what trauma does to the brain severe trauma can physically change the brain permanently. Malignant narcissism is like a person with a broken leg. If a person sees a doctor the leg can be fixed almost like new. However, if the body is left to its own devices the body will repair itself the best that it can. This is equally true to malignant narcissism. However the narcissist's "EGO" transforms "SUPEREGO" as a coping mechanism to deal with the external emotional / mental stressors (which is consistent with Freud's theory on the ego and superego.)" In other words, the narcissist becomes literally a "SUPER narcissist" which makes these individuals extremely dangerous people to be around.

The external stressor(s) may involve the narcissist becoming invovled in a relationship with a sociopath in their life and developing severe emotional / mental trauma as a result. Sociopaths (as most psychologists will recognize) lack any moral consciousness thus will stop at nothing to get whatever they want. Modern research has shown that sociopaths are genetically disposed to the their condition thus if a mother of father has sociopath characteristics the son or daughter may also develop the same sociopath characteristics as they become older.

Emma McAdam does an excellent job at describing trauma and how trauma affects the brain in her link below >


Add in trauma into the equation to an individual who already has extreme narcissist and you will have all the proper ingredients for the makings of the "malignant narcissist." 100% ego with zero or near zero ability to tolerate any form of shame whatsoever.

Be extremely wary if you need to deal with a malignant narcissist as one's own personal mental well being should be the primary concern as malignant narcissist's are also pathological liars, and will literally stop at nothing once they feel they have being wronged, shamed, or embarrassed in any way. Narcissism at this level is virtually on the same level as an extreme sociopath and/or psychopath.

Jim Jones of the 1978 Jonestown "Kool-Aid" massacre is an excellent example of a malignant narcissist as all the ingredients are also there for the makings of the malignant narcissist.