How to Stick to Habits and Routines Without Falling Off!

Sticking to your routines and making new habits can be difficult, especially now while the world is changing so much around us. So then, can we really stick to our habits and routines? How do we do that without falling off?

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[TheDutchessOfCornville]

This is really helpful. I’ve battled my weight my entire life (since at least 1st grade. Thanks to trauma/abuse/not being diagnosed with adhd/depression/anxiety until recently (I’m now 41), I developed a REALLY unhealthy relationship with food and it became my drug of choice. I’ve done every diet under the book, and do great for a few weeks- maybe a month- and then get overwhelmed and quit. Now, you’ve shown me that I was making too many changes at once. I can’t change everything immediately. I’m going to sit down and set realistic goals, 1 at a time. I think my first realistic goal will be no eating in my car. I’m definitely used to eating alone in my car where no one sees me and I feel safe. But I think that it’s something I can work on first.

Thank you for giving me a new, REALISTIC hope <3

[Provojuggler]

Along with changing one degree at a time, a quote that I have found helpful is "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."

[persephoneunderground]

A coach told me that re-starting a new habit after accidentally dropping it is actually a *stronger* mental reinforcement of doing it than if you'd never stopped to begin with. So don't be discouraged if your small change snaps back, just keep stretching that rubber band or muscle gradually.

Combine with small degrees of change and this is a recipe for real long-term development of new habits. I go for a walk almost every day now because I stopped thinking walks didn't count as exercise, so started with something doable. And if I only had room for a 10 minute walk I still did it. Small steps.

[Pikasusuu]

I love that Jessica doesn’t hide her emotions and keeps in the bits where she gets teary. It makes me feel less alone with my emotional dysregulation.
Probably from RSD, I cry EVERY time i have to discuss an ADHD related work problem with my boss, and I get so embarrassed about it and feel like a freak. I wish could not cry in front of colleagues but can’t control it. It makes me feel like I’m weak or being dramatic. Jess crying on camera makes me hate myself a little less. Thank you Jessica for your wonderful channel.

[VermisTerrae]

My 1 degree of change was using my water flosser every day, and now I've expanded to using mouthwash after brushing at night :) I've struggled with taking care of my teeth for a long time, and now that I have at least one cavity (I have an appointment at the end of next month), I've been taking it a lot more seriously and learning how to properly care for my teeth at home. I haven't had my teeth professionally cleaned in years due to anxiety from a pretty traumatic dental appointment by someone very inexperienced. Putting it off has caught up with me, but I'm doing what I can to keep things from getting worse until my appointment, and then I get to focus on preventative care 👍

[loganhornberger]

This puts something into perspective for me. I was doing the "one degree at a time" thing with a bunch of different habits at once: getting daily steps in, drinking water, flossing, hobbies, etc. Recently, I started two new jobs, and I knew from past experience that my habits would be in tatters until I found a new routine and could start building them up again. But I've been having a hard time getting up the motivation to start doing all of that again, and I think it's what you said about it being too much. It might be one degree at once, but it's one degree in five different areas, and that's still five degrees! So thanks for this video. I think what I need to do is focus on one habit at a time for a bit.

[AnnaReed]

I started a bullet journal this year with that kind of mindset - it's OK if I miss a day or more of journaling. It's OK if my habit trackers aren't full. And then I started choosing small habits I wanted to create. In bed by 12:30 in February became 12:00 in March. A tracker for checking in on my bullet journal, and one for eating a vegetable a day (I plan on slowly incrementing up to 3+). When working out once a week became comfortable, I started doing twice a week.

My partner's sister passed away a couple of weeks ago. We spent 10 days away from home figuring out her affairs. I let some things slide, and I gave myself permission to do that. I have some blank days on meal tracking and gratitude, some unfilled squares on my habit trackers. Now that I'm back home and have had a couple of days to recover, I am ready to jump back in where I left off. It doesn't feel daunting to start up again and I'm even kind of excited to do so. I'm excited to work out this week, put photos from my trip into my journal, and nail down that 12:00 bedtime. Little changes have made a big difference for me.

[elizaeliza]

I am not diagnosed with ADHD. But this was something I learned in therapy. Change is slow and gradual. which also means it does not need to be stressful, over whelming, and horrible. Learning that helped me reduce my anxiety a lot because I was not longer putting so much strain on myself any more. Suddenly I was able to just relax into these small changes that build into lasting success.

[simpaticode]

Really touched by your tears at 4:30. You're right that wrong belief like "I will change drastically, immediately" is to blame for a great deal of suffering, and this is an important message. Not just for the ADHD community, but for everyone.

[TalkingTrey]

When you said binge watching all of the videos and making a massive change and it’s just not going to work..
That hit me deep.
I knew I was going to fail but I wanted to be better. I found your channel and
It made me understand myself better and feel like I was understood. I then realized I had to get all this in check and I went into shambles trying to do EVERYTHING you have given us advice on all at once. I basically relapsed back into my old ways and I was really sad and unhappy with myself for being the way I was again and not sustaining that life. To hear that it’s a common mistake and one that is fixable is a breath of fresh air to someone who felt very much suffocated. I appreciate you so much the amount of times I’ve cried and felt so connected without ever meeting you is absolutely astonishing and I can’t say thank you enough.

[LoveCarol]

BUILDING UP MY TOLERANCE FOR UNCERTAINTY! Thats a statement that hits me deep. I am stagnant most of my life due to the fear of uncertainty of whether ill succeed or fail in any situation. But recently I've been able to really take small steps that have been sticking, Ive been doing routines without telling myself i HAVE to do it, I just do it. Just being real with myself and saying that i can accomplish everything one step at a time, one degree of change. Thank you

[Valentine.C.M]

I Love that you get openly emotional so often in your videos.
It makes me feel better about it. I get emotional very often, and it's a process to accept it, especially in front of others. Seeing you being vulnerable and showing your emotions helps a lot.
So thank you for your authenticity.

[sportssafehaven]

This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time, as I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my positive habits and routines. Thank you, Jess, for all the great help and awareness you bring to us brains.

[BeingIntegrated]

There's also this weird paradox about change, essentially that the more we resist and deny our reality, the more inner conflict we create around it, just making us more stuck. But the more we can fully accept ourselves as we are, warts and all, the more we can relax into our reality, and this actually frees up energy that makes the real change more possible.

[hobbitoftheshire]

You made me think about something from occupational therapy. There’s a term we use called a “just right challenge”. When setting up activities for our clients, we give them an activity that’s just slightly out of their comfort zone, that “one degree of change”. Thank you for the reminder that I need to apply this to my own life.

I’ve been trying for years to create a consistent sleep routine. I’ve finally (I think) been able to do it by telling myself I need to go to sleep and wake up at certain times and that’s it. No routines, no extra steps. I can do them if I want to, but they’re not required. And once I’m doing that consistently, then I can add more steps. It’s so difficult to make incremental progress, but I’d rather have a good sleep routine in a year then to keep failing over and over again. Thank you again for the wonderful videos! Much appreciated!

[R.F.]

"Then appreciate that change." A very important step for others in your life! If no one so much as acknowledges your work (especially for those of us with ADHD) or if they say things like "Finally!" or "It's about time!" or "That's it? That's all?" (aka punishing the behavior they want to see), then it's super easy to start thinking "What's the point? What's the use?" and give up. Having a nurturing support system helps tremendously.

[pAwLinNe]

Even just making the bed every morning takes conscious effort, and I used to feel like a failure every time I realize I forget to do it. Until I finally learned about adhd and got diagnosed, I learned to commend myself for the things I'm able to do and remember to do, instead of beating myseld up for stuff i couldn't, just because I forget. I think it makes the difference and I feel like I'm doing it more.

[Ryosuke]

A book that has helped me even with a guy like me with suspected ADHD, is called "Atomic Habits" which talks precisely about small changes, how to start and stick to habits by building one small change at a time. I really think it can't hurt to read it and try to apply some of that advice, even for people with ADHD :)

[angelindisguise]

This channel seriously feels like free therapy and life coaching at this point for many of us struggling with these issues haha. Please don't everr overestimate the importance and value of what you do and how far reaching it can be and you would never even know <3

[joeyt]

This is great advice for everyone! My one degree of change this week is walking back my bedtime by 1hr. Even 1hr is a stretch goal, and if I move it back just 15 minutes, that's good progress, too. Good sleep is probably the most important foundation (for me).