How Anxious Attachment Blocks True Intimacy

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now.

Are you anxiously attached? Did you know that it might be blocking you from experiencing true intimacy, love, and the connection you've been seeking your entire life? The very things you do to please others could be preventing you from finding true happiness and might even cause resentment from those around you. I understand because I was once anxiously attached too.

Before earning my Master’s Degree in Psychology, completing a three-year apprenticeship under other therapists, and becoming a licensed therapist myself, I struggled with anxious attachment. Today, as an Attachment Specialist, I help people understand and overcome their attachment challenges to build lasting, fulfilling relationships.

In this video, I’ll reveal:

Why you never feel good enough
Why you don't get the love and connection you crave
How to start building true intimacy with your loved ones
Personal stories I've never shared publicly before
You'll gain the insights and tools you need to fix your anxious attachment and learn how to give and receive love the right way.

For those new to the channel, welcome! I'm thrilled to have you here. Let's briefly review what anxious attachment is and how it affects your life and relationships.

Key Points Covered:

The origins of anxious attachment.
The negative effects of anxious attachment on your self-esteem and relationships.
The importance of setting boundaries and building trust.
How to stop being "nice" and start being genuinely kind.
The need for clear, direct communication in building healthy relationships.

If you're ready to transform your attachment style and achieve the emotional intimacy you've been longing for, watch this video and take the first step towards a happier, healthier you.

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Chapters:
00:00:00 - Overcoming Anxious Attachment for True Intimacy
00:01:46 - The Origins of Anxious Attachment
00:03:44 - The Unhappiness of Anxious Attachment Style
00:05:44 - The Negative Effects of Anxious Attachment
00:07:47 - The Secret Contracts of Kindness
00:09:40 - Toxicity of Anxious Women for Avoidant Men
00:11:41 - Setting Boundaries and Building Trust
00:13:31 - The Importance of Explaining Motives
00:15:21 - Overcoming Anxious Attachment

[anzelaiv]

Now it makes sense why Adam can be so harsh on APs. People who went through the agony of anxious attachment and healed it, tend to become direct and bold around the very same behaviors and subjects they were sugarcoating and justifying because of their anxiety, and I for one think that the change APs make when they become secure is absolutely glorious.

[Ridingrules]

Funny. I never considered this conceptually until I started noticing behavior patterns and paying closer attention my feelings. I condition people to take advantage of me, and then get hurt and frustrated when I need something and they don't reciprocate. It feels normal for me to go out of my way to help others. Too far out of my way.

[christalcicero]

“Trying to catch up to negative one million points inside of you.” Yep that resonates 😞

[lynettejohnson]

I am kind to people because it's the right thing to do... because I care. In hope that other people will be kind to me also.

[ladyofspa]

Examples would be awesome to see the anxious transition to secure with thoughts/feelings, behavior, expression with others

[NorthernLightMassageTherapy]

I'm so relieved that someone is finally telling the truth about anxious women (I am an anxious woman) and so sick of being told it's ok to be a mess. No it is NOT ok now what do we do to fix it? We want strength and self control from men? Then we gotta do that too.
I'm learning alot on your channel thank you for what you do keep telling the truth

[kennabuggin]

As I work on learning more secure attachment behavior, it has shined a light on my anxious behavior and I agree that it is toxic. Then I immediately want to shame myself for being a “bad” person but not today. I finally understand that it was never intentionally but survival and an attempt to get my needs met but I didn’t know what my needs were exactly. I thought I only needed what I believed was love. I thought that tolerating disrespect and biting my tongue made me a nice and kind person. But when I would finally snap and attempt to establish boundaries, I would fail because I didn’t want to hurt people by having boundaries. But now I see that it was toxic and made me untrustworthy. I’m excited for the opportunities that I have to do right by me, show myself kindness, heal my inner wounds in order to improve my relationships.

Adam, I can’t thank you enough because I’ve learned so much with these videos. I appreciate your empathy on this topic. I felt so seen but not shamed. Thank you again!!!

[yumna]

You make me feel less lost Adam, because I do breathing exercises on the emotional side, but most of the time I feel lost on the logical/practical side.

[pasmetha]

Finally! I've been waiting for videos on healing anxious attachment! Can't wait to watch

[kristincronin-gn]

I’m so embarrassed 😞 this explains my entire life….. and I’m feeling overwhelmingly sad right now. Although, I know the truth will set you free …..oh my God.

[deemart]

Recently I did a quiz that said I have disorganized attachment style.
I’m engaged to an avoidant man. In short I feel both things but mainly I feel anxious 😢 .. self regulation seems so important for mental and even physical health. My fiancé and I have come such a long way and still have the rest of our lives. Once I finish school, I fully intend on buying into your program. You sound compassionate, clever and experienced. Blessings ❤ to you and your work.

[dvegas]

I can directly correlate the past problems in my life to poor boundaries and bad self regulation. Because I allowed people to walk all over me and then lost my 💩when they treated me badly. If I would have just put up the strong boundaries in the beginning, it would have saved me a bunch of heartache later!!

[hubbysswee]

I’m 61. I’ve been disliked for (no exaggeration) all of my life. I’ve wondered why for just as long. In November all of who I thought were my peeps walked (even my therapist of 8 years and a “friend” of 50 years), and I’m confused. I’ve been in a cocoon, terrified, lonely and depressed as a result. This pain puts me under the pool table and is causing severe depression. Beyond measure. I know this exodus is going to provide an opportunity to safely, without fear of losing someone (snicker snicker), explore who I am as an anxiously attached person. Adam, what you’re saying resonates deeply. Thank you for sharing you! And thank you for your dedication to helping those of us (and others of course) walk through the hell we need to face.

[kittydoggyMeow]

Doing nice things for others doesn't make the person a problem. Even if others are suspicious of them.

[jenautumn]

You slapped me twice while watching this! 😂 Okay. Okay. Thank God! I became self aware couple of months ago! I am learning! Again, thanks for the slap! I needed that! Your videos are awesome!

P.S.
I am in love with an avoidant! We are working through it!😂

[sadiqua]

Expectations are unrealized resentments. My mom often would behave this way, I recognize this now and why I’m FA. Although I test more secure now, my ex is very avoidant and I often resent his hot and cold tendencies. Today I came to the conclusion that I just need to block him, he’s unwilling to do the bare minimum which is to not leave me on read even though I clearly told him multiple times how triggering it is for me. And at the end of the day, is just rude AF, I give him a few days and for whatever reason he just can’t muster the energy to be respectful.

[olganova]

I’m so happy I found your videos ❤it really opened my eyes and finally got a solution of how to fix my anxious issues and dealing with avoidant man .

[taylorbee]

The expectations hit very hard
Were often RAISED with those expectations
Everything has a damn payment involved
But we/I am also scared of being told no for wanting anything in return.

[yumna]

13:33 Your mention of this example helped me see the picture of attachment more clearly and made my understanding of the pattern broader.

[bella]

Thanks Adam, love your channel! As an anxiously attached person this inspires me to change more rapidly. Really interesting to see from a man's perspective.