I Don't Trust My Husband, For No Reason! | Paul Friedman

Does trust is currently your issue with your husband? What is the reason why you didn't trust your husband? Watch Paul explain this situation and give you tips to lessen your fear.

I think there's a lot to be said about education when we remove the mystery of any particular topic it's less fearful. Oftentimes, people have a fear for instance of getting in an airplane and so what the airlines do or they used to do, I don't know if they do it anymore is
they teach the passenger all about flight how it works until the passenger goes, "Oh, I understand."

There really is nothing to fear and this is what surgeons do before they perform surgery on someone. They explain it in depth so they understand what it is that's going to happen and it reduces the fear. Well, fear is instinctive. You see the body is a trillion cells each one of which is saying I need to survive.

Isn't it true?
Didn't you learn about this?

One of the points of life is the drive to survive and the other is the drive to procreate. Those two driving things control every cell, every living thing and it controls us until we take
charge of the mind. Wait a minute, who's taking charge over the mind?

You are a soul. You have a mind, you have a body but you are not your mind and you are not your body and this one point of education is so valuable that when you incorporate it into your marriage and recognize that you're the soul and the soul wants to naturally connect with your husband then a light goes on. This is the soul's desire.

Why isn't it happening?
Why is there suspicion?

Because the mind, think of the mind as a battleground between the soul and the body and the body's saying, "No, we have to survive." We cannot trust anybody much less our husband who we really know a lot about and even though we know a lot about him there must be something that he's hiding. This is instinctive fear. It's not a psychological problem. You don't need therapy. You need to arrest the compulsion as soon as it occurs. So as soon as this thought or feeling comes up and you're aware of it what you do is you stop it.

You intellectually know it's absurd and so you stop it then what you do is you apply what I call workarounds. You start listing all of the reasons why your suspicion is not grounded in reason and then you do another thing. You rise above the whole thing. You go, "Wait, I'm a
soul. He's a soul. I'm here to connect with him. I'm here to express undying unmitigated love to him. I'm not going to allow this fear-based suspicion to get in the way. I am taking
charge. I am in charge of my mind. I am in charge of my body and I'm choosing to love." Now oftentimes, the mind has taken you on this crazy journey for moments or hours or days and you can't shake it but you can and you do it by calming yourself.

You bring yourself back. Use your breath, your breath controls your heart, your heart
controls your mind so you slow your breath which will slow your heart which will calm your mind and then you tell it enough is enough. Have conversations with your mind, don't
talk about this with other people because when you start hearing all the excuses for suspicion it goes into your subconscious mind and it validates it and it has no business being validated so try these techniques. If it's already causing problems in your marriage then you're going to need to find a solution that is more powerful. You may try reading one of my books, the longest chapters on the mind because we don't learn about the mind in school and if we did education is the key. We just have to know.

#marriageproblems #unhappywife #frustrated #frustratedwoman #abusivepartner #maritalproblems

[TheMarriageFoundation]

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