I Wouldn't Have Cheated If I Knew THIS...

Cheating always devastates relationships. In this video I talk about everything I believe would have preventing me from cheating on my wife and would prevent any partner from cheating in their relationship.

7 Clues to Spot the Narcissist Early

#marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #conflictresolution

[mandyjames]

"If you're not intentionally doing things to strengthen your relationship then you're weakening it" wow

[skyethebard]

I think an introspective and communicative ex-cheater is potentially one of the best people to offer relationship advice. I once had a professor that told me he thought the best teachers were often those who had struggled in school, themselves. I think this is similar.

[Violet-Sky-]

The absolute whiplash I got from him saying he cheated. I mean clearly he has changed and grown by this channel but it's just not something I would ever expect. And honestly kudos for changing and growing that much. I had a little moment where I was like how am I supposed to listen to him now but I think I understand that that's past.

[allisonshaw]

Cheating is the line that, once crossed, cannot be undone, and for me it would be the end of the relationship. I cannot and will not forgive a partner for cheating on me.

[Megumi]

A video from your wife about how she learned to trust you would be so useful even with genuine regret, making time for my feelings, reassurance and affection and consistency with his words and actions I still find it hard to trust and can be triggered into feeling insecure. I do have betrayal trauma that started in childhood and a fear of being fooled or deceived.

[Jlk]

Your wife is a stronger person than most. I would never be able to trust you again, and my inability to trust you would ruin anything positive we had in our relationship.

[jaetherese]

i can’t even fathom staying if my husband ever cheated on me. your wife is an angel, i wish her the best.

[alexisunscripted]

Don’t be shocked when you fall when you’re standing on a slippery slope… 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[colorlessoz]

Ow. Cut through the heart. I remember one day with my husband at church while grabbing a coffee I looked over and saw a guy with a good haircut and a nice button down shirt almost like a suit without the jacket on and, not sure if it was the same guy, but I smelt a good cologne on someone. I went over to my husband and said " you smell that?" And he said " yeah someone has cologne on" and I tapped him on the chest and said " I want YOU to be the one who I think smells good. And looks good."
That week he got a haircut and he has been on Sundays been occasionally putting his cologne back on that he knows I love.
But Jimmy is right. When thoughts like that come, talk to your partner. I am glad I did it when I did.

[IFSTherapyRealResults]

THERAPIST HERE: Really like how you talk about the "pre-behaviors" I call this territory ... "pretending our way into something." Very good descriptor to refer to it as "walking up to the line" (constantly) and then cross it ... and then be so "surprised" that you crossed the line. Love how your questions are an opportunity to be soberly honest.

[rebeccalavanture]

“To an immature or an unhealed person, a healthy safe committed relationship feels boring, and actually unsafe it doesn’t give us the chaos and unpredictably that our nervous system is used to, so we will go searching for that chaos outside
Of the relationship even if it costs is this one…”
Wow, interesting!!

[chrislong]

I like your videos and shorts. Very smart and informative. The one thing I have learned after being cheated on is that your can’t prevent being cheated on. Cheating has to do with people own insecurity in the relationship. Find a person who wants to put in the work.

[skinnypete]

No freaking way. If a man puts me at risk for a STD by sleeping with me after sleeping with another person, thats recklessly endangering my health. He would be tossed out. Thats worse than breaking trust

[CNF]

I've been cheated on by everyone i thought loved me in my 35 years of life. Despite this, I still love like I've never been hurt before. I just don't know what it feels like to love someone without being scared to be hurt. I've been hurt my entire life. I just want to know love without pain and fear.

[mks]

Thank you for sharing. I never thought my husband would cheat. And we didn't do the things we should have to insulate our marriage. His affair is 100% his responsibility, but it didn't happen in a vacuum. For all the comments passing judgment on him and his wife, I pray you never experience betrayal. That you are never faced with the choice of divorce or staying with someone who betrayed you. I swore if he cheated, I'd leave. Many women do. Yet, when he did, I didn't. And many women don't. It is a very personal decision based on many factors. The biggest factor in rebuilding a successful marriage after betrayal is the ability of the cheater to show remorse and express empathy (and stopping behaviors that led to affair). This man is a poster child on how to accept responsibility for your actions.

[vkjguvp]

It just kept glitching on me when I tried this video tutorial so firstly I would say thank you for the video and secondly, thank you Dale Valskov meeting you was a blessing in disguise keep up with the good work I'm sure a lot of people will be needing your assistance iin the nearest future after seeing this

[verohb]

This is a valuable video, it sets responsibility squarely on the cheater. Thank you for saying the truth, when someone cheats the fault is not 50/50 but 0% your fault and 100% the cheater’s fault.

[lauradennis]

I appreciate your insight, but if my husband ever cheated or laid a hand on me there’d be no staying with him. I’m sure that a lot of people fantasize when they’re unhappy, but it is the most selfish and disrespectful thing to actually act on it. There’s not enough words or explanations for cheating, in my opinion. Self control is self control. It’s what keeps me from punching people in the throat.

[babypistolwhip]

Jimmy, this video changed my life! As a person with a proclivity for balancing on my tippy toes right at the line, I can finally say I know that I CANNOT put off therapy any longer and need to deal with what happened to me as a young child.

This video changed my life, thank you so much!

[brittanyv]

I’ve been on both ends of this. I will agree, when I cheated while in a loving relationship, it was during a time I was extremely insecure and immature. I had a hard time identifying and explaining to him what I needed from the relationship. And I also craved attention because of the unresolved trauma that left me “empty” inside, so i I sought out extremes.

It’s been 5 years now. I regret it until this day. He and I have both moved on. I wish I knew then what I know now about myself, and would never fathom doing that again. Seeing the way I destroyed another person per my lack of care was eye opening and still humbles me until now.

Thank you for being transparent and honest.