Will Checking Your Partner’s Phone Ruin Your Relationship?

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[abigailmyers]

i’ve been on the other side of this situation where my partner did cheat. from that experience i’ve learned that people will do what they want at the end of the day. if they want to be unfaithful they will. even if you have passcodes and passwords to their accounts. they’ll find a way. and it just gave me more anxiety having that info. let people be who they want to be. as scary as it is they will always show their true colors. it’s out of your control

[susananavarrete]

Honestly I have nothing to hide… if it makes them feel secure, I’m secure enough in myself that they can look all they want. It makes me feel happy that they see I’m secure and healthy enough to have them look all they want. I do however, expect the same treatment. I can look and grab anything of theirs too, without ill intentions.

[donnajames]

Someone hiding their phone is a tell tail sign of hiding something. Intuition has told me before to check my partner s phone. In doing this I found text messages to a prostitute. A narcissist will lie and gaslight and blame you! Which he did, he even blamed his son to try and cover up. Believe your intuition ladies !

[jessicajackson]

Funny thing is, i dont normally have the urge to check a partners phone, every time ive gone through a phone i had strong reason to suspect cheating and i found the evidence.

[jessiepagnan]

I respected the phone thing even when my ex hid his phone or always had it on him. My phone was always visible and I even told him my password to check maps. A year+ later, I happened on his phone and, out of my character, I turned it on and 'you have a new match' was glowing. The dating climate is too complex now to simply raise the trust issue.

[musicjunkiekarma]

I LOVE the way Audrey explained trust. I’ve heard a million people say a million different things about it but the way she said “trusting someone in spite of not having any proof” is brilliant. That resonated with me in a way that it never has before. Thank you so much!

[kyeshacarter]

you let your partner touch your private parts but you wanna be private over a cellular device, whatever 🤣

[shilohbell]

It’s hard when trust is broken to the point where you… can’t trust them.

[growwiththeflow.]

I love how Audrey at 11:24 is trying to get across the potential awkwardness that the conversation Christina and her bf would need to revisit regarding the relationship with her ex and the closure they may or may not have had, in order for clarity and transparency from their own past relationship together, in order to move together in the future in a changed and expanded way if they wish to. That takes humility, acceptance, and unconditional love to hold that sort of space for one another.
Most people are going into relationships with past partners. We’ve loved what they brought out of us and it would so liberating to share that same part with a current partner without any shame. And there’s a reason exs are no longer in the position that they once were, just as there is a reason for current partnerships. Be empowered from it all!

[MorganTDaniels]

All relationships are leaps of faith. One should trust until the person proves you wrong.

[jadegreen]

This does not apply to a long term relationship where there has been betrayal and some REPAIR and reconciliation is being attempted. The difference is a long term relationship that is being REPAIRED vs a new relationship that has no basis and trust needs to be built together.

This distinction needs to be made.
It is different when a betrayer is trying to make amends. Opening up your phones etc is par for the course in “repair and apology” (not new relationships)

[steatramurphy]

My boyfriend and I had been togeter two years. He had always been guarded about his phone. He started talking about living together in the 3rd year. One day after a date out I asked to see his phone and check his messages and he became gaurded and saying all these things about invading his privacy and etc. That's when I was done. Im not trying to be in a relationship for privacy. We share our body, the bathroom etc, but yet the phone needs to be private? I dont need to go through his phone all the time but at the end of the day you cant just take everyone for face value until you find out you allowed to waiste your time. Be respectful but proactive.

[slonikvasa]

When I was young and dumb, the guy I dated asked to share my passwords with him. He then proceeded messaging people from my account, insulting and blocking them, he deleted all men from my contacts including my grandfather and uncle. And then he was making posts from my account how much I love him. It was crazy. He embarrassed me in front of so many people. And at the end he was the one who cheated.

[cqualif]

Get into a relationship with someone you trust. If you start having doubts about your trust for them (IT IS FINE TO HAVE THEM), then explain to them why. Ask to see their phone out of love and reassurance, and not entitlement.

[csx]

Nothing on my phone I'm ashamed of. We're not talking random people here; we're talking the only person you should be able to implicitly trust. If they guard their phone like the Crown Jewels, that's a red flag. In terms of infidelity, even if they're loyal, if they're receiving communications from someone trying to get with them, it's expected they're shutting that shit down the first time it happens. They'd have no problem letting you see their phone because you could see that and, as long as it's true and they're not fucking around in another way, would only strengthen your bond.

[HassanOmar-tknj]

My girl goes through my phone every night when I go to sleep, but when I do that to her, she don’t like it

[katiefitbrit]

I checked my exes phone as he was acting odd with it. Found months worth of messages and sexual videos to another women. I messaged her to tell her he'd been lying to her and he lost both of us!

[michelleelliott]

What I don't understand is the whole "privacy" concept when you're in a committed relationship. Why is that necessary if you don't have anything to hide? My boyfriend can look at everything of mine and if he has any questions about anything, all he has to do is ask. We're in a world of secrets and deceit! Why is that necessary???

[hgfw]

She should just be genuine and tell him she wants to continue dating casually with full freedom. That's all. He will either agree or will move on. That's very simple.

[brookeherchelroth]

It’s all subjective - I think in todays culture transparency is a MuST! If you can’t leave your phone around there’s a reason. If you love someone you do what it takes to reassure someone, seems like an easy fix to let them have access. Transparency to say I need this or that - down to “I’m struggling with finding validation because I’m not feeling it from you and I’m being secretive online” and knowing your person won’t leave is the key. Communicating our weaknesses - our raw humanity is intimacy.