How to set boundaries (without being mean) 😊 #careeradvice

[AdviceWithErin]

PSA: you don’t need to be mean to successfully set firm boundaries.

In face, there are subtle, soft, and graceful ways to set boundaries—and oftentimes, that work even better than saying “hey I’m setting a boundary with you.”

Boundaries aren’t about controlling what others do; it’s about controlling what you do.

Be firm, yet kind. Hard on the problem, but soft on the person.

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[Hann]

Yeap I did what you suggested until I found out he’s an unstoppable jerk 😂

[heelrunner]

Just put a sign on the door,

"i tend to yap. Pls don't get me started so i can do my job 🥹👍 catch you at break time though!"

[alexiswhite]

That puts a whole new perspective on boundaries for me in general! I’ve been struggling because I have a friend who sets “boundaries” and is constantly telling me what to do and not, and I couldn’t figure out how to tell her not to do that without literally doing the same thing—but this helps so much!! Thank you! The help/clarity I’ve been praying for, thank you Jesus🙌

[focusedallday]

Exactly! A lot of people think it’s about controlling what other people do rather than controlling how they react. Stay Focused!

[RachelDee]

YEESSS ERIN!!!! SO many people don’t understand you don’t lay down boundaries that way. You can’t control whether anybody follows them but yourself.

[kamiw]

This is why we need Erin. Can we replace Alexa and Siri with just Erin and whenever we're about to make a bad move, she pops on and steps in like the caring wiser sibling she is? We need that little bop bop on teh head sometimes, too.

[inga]

This is actually a fantastic example, focusing on yourself and effect it has on you, not saying that he is doing something wrong

[theophanial]

You have been helping me so much! I am a sahm but I use your communication tips all the time. In all kinds of situations. I didn’t receive healthy examples growing up and being sahm kept me rather isolated from daily adult interactions for a while so this is like a crash course on being nice while being clear. Thanks!!

[jadinamber]

TLDR: I really appreciate this post❤️
It really is that easy. As someone who picks up TOO strongly on certain social cues and not strongly enough on others, I all but BEG people to set boundaries with me if I’m doing something they dislike. I can’t always tell until it’s too late. I would be SUPER grateful if someone said this kind of thing to me BEFORE it boiled over in them. Because then they’re just rude and passive aggressive and I don’t understand what I did wrong because I’ve been doing that thing for so long and they acted like it was great??? Most of the time I can handle understanding that kind of thing, even if I have my own internal struggle over it, and I very much keep to myself regardless to try to avoid annoying people. So when I do something it’s because I GENUINELY have never been told it’s wrong.

[Mike-werb]

I can’t say stuff like that cuz I’ve been traumatized my whole life by people being irately angry whenever I try to speak my mind or speak up for myself

[BasitAbdul-wc]

I think I have subscribed... Because the advices are too good!

[dabyo]

This girl is drop dead gorgeous holy shit

[yahyarazi]

How about just say "I'm a little busy right now but let's catch up at lunch?". Why does it have to be an essay explanation lol.

[JackieDoesKeto]

Would you do a video about the etiquette of asking to be considered for WFH or hybrid positions in a cover letter please? Thank you

[VadSomHelst]

This just feels like passive aggressive, instead of just aggressive

[racheltamez]

Why didn't I ever get to share a workspace w you!! Best co worker ever!❤

[simonedegroot]

I had one coworker/fellow student like that once. We were both interning at the same graphic design place for Allround DTP (desktop publishing, one step under a graphic designer) and she kept rolling her chair over to me and chatting. She kept getting small tasks bc she constantly said she wanted to stop, she didn't like the work and study and all that stuff. In the meantime, I got to do magazines, small books, cards, really fun stuff. I snapped at her once bc I was trying to get a magazine to load a picture correctly and she rolled up really close, leaned in till she was basically touching my shoulder and went "This place is so boring, wanna ditch?" in the middle of the day. Didn't talk to her again if I didn't have to after that

[XArcAngelX]

Can you make a video for advice when your HR is best friends with your leadership, and how to handle that conflict of interest?

[zsaiya]

yay tom thank you for not taking it personally