Narcissists expect things to GO BACK to the way they were

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[jennifermcilwain]

They NEED you to forget, otherwise they have to be accountable.

[demian_SilentNoMore]

Letting go of people who just want you to *get back in line* after inappropriate, hurtful or downright mean or spiteful behavior. Um… NOPE. Not anymore.

[dylissilyd]

I said to my mother "I remember everything!" and saw panic in her eyes. Deep inside them, I think they know there were no good old days: they just want/expect us to pretend those were good days

[Jachimma]

Yes...they just sit tight and hope that with time, you'll forget everything that just happened and go back to black.

[sparkygump]

Narcs have taught me that, after they discard, you can NEVER go back to the way it was. I see them now.

[semmaville]

I’m living with my narcissist. I now realize she cleverly isolated me… I had convinced myself to wait until she dies before making a network of friends. But now that I woke up, I’m not waiting. I have a lunch date with a new friend Tuesday and spent this weekend with another new friend. I’m emerging as a person! I owe it all to you Dr Ramani! Thank you ❤

[peggy]

I really cracked up when you said "it's their world and they're just letting you live in it." How hilarious. Thank you for all your help.

[anonymous-zeug]

My ex-husband would say "I just want my old Sarah back". What he wanted was the weak person I used to be that handed over my paycheck and did whatever he wanted but then he went too far and I changed. It's been 10 yrs since the divorce and being engaged to yet another narc and not knowing better. I am alone now and I think that is the best for me. I have my children and they are my light.

[bindibud]

My female biological narc parent made me work in her dance studio every day from age ten to 17. I was forced to do endless nursery rhyme dances with small children while being mocked for the way I looked in a leotard. When I moved out at 17, she was gobsmacked. "I'll --- I'll PAY you!" she cried, in desperation. Sorry, Judy! By then I had realized that other employers would also pay, and without the abuse.

[alexas.]

They expect you to forgive them immediately, act like nothing ever happened immediately, not have any sad or hurt or angry feelings immediately when they say it’s all fine now. If you harbor any doubt or exhaustion about their wrongdoings or attacks after they force you to accept their fake apology or demand you move on, you’re the villain. This is so spot-on.

[codatheseus]

The thing that hit me the hardest was when the narcissist blamed me for the actions they manipulated me into doing. They were all the sudden my choices.

[ardent]

I haven't heard them say "let go back to the way it was before..." but I have seen them ACT like it was the way it was before, or just act like nothing ever happened and rage when you try to discuss it. if you don't discuss it, then you end up as the one silently seething with rage.

[luna_]

My narc mother wants nothing more than for my brother and I to be her minions again. The “good days” as she puts it.
Never again. I’ve been no contact for almost a year since moving out of her house, blocked her on everything, and it’s been the most peaceful time in my life. I refuse to go back.

Thank you so much for doing what you do, Dr. Ram. You’ve helped my brother and I not only identify the narc’s tactics, but also how to keep them at bay.

[sylviealexandris]

Yes! He totally said that. “ I wish you loved me like you did in the beginning, you were more compliant and good” he also said my codependency recovery was making me more argumentative AKA now I have boundaries! Best complement I ever got from him!!!

[alexeyvishnyakov]

Truly, once you see the things for what they are, it’s just impossible to “unsee” all the mess. Thank you so much! Love the video quality upgrade btw

[costelloandlizzievolk]

Me going neutral, disengaging and having boundaries enraged the narcissist in-law in my family and she verbally assaulted me at a family dinner. It was beyond disturbing. And my family tried to blame me for standing up to her to protect myself and pressures me to forgive for the sake of the family despite her never apologizing. It’s been many years of these messed up things from her. I wish they would understand that I can never go back to how things were. Prioritizing my well being. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[ScrapAlong]

I’m not going back to that. Those good old days were the controlling, yelling, cussing and devaluing me. I’m done so done. I’m filing for divorce very soon.

[ultramaxpro]

This woman is the reason why I have peace

[aynilaa]

Yes! My parents are so confused about me finally speaking up, seeing what's happening and refusing to be part of it. They always blame it on my mental health as I didn't used to be like this years ago.
I grew up, got educated and empowered. That's what happened.

[mc]

"There are no good old days" Amen!! Although it's very painful being in a relationship with a narcissist, I have learned and grown so much. My senses are much more heightened and I'm stronger for it.