A break up with a narcissist: what to expect

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[edjoshuatungul]

1. You don't get closure.
2. They find someone already in a matter of weeks, months or possibly that person is already been there all along.
3. You blame yourself even after the breakup.
4. You always, I repeat always ruminate if things could have been better, if you could have been better for them. You always ruminate if the new person gets a better version of them (they will not).
5. Months after the break up, you will recognize that you are getting better and starting to heal. That when you get to know a bit more about narcissism, you finally understand why the breakup needed to happen.

If you're experiencing a breakup now with a narcissist/narcissistic person, you will go through hell, it is very hard to process and to go each day but it is not impossible. Things will get better, that I can guarantee. Im healing and it's already been 6 months and I have to say I am way better than 6 months ago. Be patient on yourself. I hope and pray for everyone's healing right here especially you reading my comment.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani for your upload!

[mattwilliams]

If they discard and divorce you, take it as a blessing in disguise. It will hurt, but focus on yourself and heal. After time, you realize a lot of things and also realize how peaceful life will be. Move on and don't fall for the Hoover tactics. Never go back.

[dynjarren]

Do not expect closure. They wont admit any wrong, nor will they sit and talk it out in any meaningful way.
Just find distractions and remind yourself that you are the better person...dont worry, God will let you slide for your emotions of rage, anger, confusion, self doubt and guilt. You are better. You deserve better

[pauls]

One of the first things I did when my NARC and I broke up was make a list of all the crappy things they did and said to me over the three years together. I worked on that list for an hour and still added to it for weeks after the breakup. And when the ruminating started about the breakup and questioning if it was a good idea.... I just pulled out the list, took a few breaths, and reminded myself that the breakup was a GREAT idea!

[SherriAshton]

Breaking up with them is harder. There is always that feeling in the back of the mind that it was the wrong thing to do.

[thisguy]

The hardest narcissistic relationship is the one where there are many many good times. Tons of them, maybe as much as a healthy relationship. But add in the constant up and down raging, love bombing that happens every time they know they’ve messed up, gaslighting. It’s just awful trying to move on. You know the craziness you went through but there are hundreds of photos from birthdays, holidays, events, and they mostly went ok.

[ranadebnath]

Nothing is harder. Just get away from narcissist. Once you regain your self. You will be thankful that you are free.

[KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

I think the “secret, ” in most cases, is to let the narcissist think that the breakup is their idea.

[jenniferholzhauser-travelagent]

They always win the "battles" but you end up winning the war! Stay strong surviviors!!!

[laurajeanA]

"You cant win" 100% agree. But by accepting that and moving on, that is when you do win.

[puccipuu]

Mine has stalked and harassed me. But it’s worth it to be free. Don’t wait just do it. I stayed for 10 years and just wish I could turn back time. Forgive yourself too.

[camadams]

8:18 Love that. *"You aren't being replaced, they just want new supply"*

Getting rejected always means you "weren't enough" for the other person. Not being "smart enough", "attractive enough", etc would hurt. Not being adequate narcissist supply? My failure in that department causes me zero pain

[brandonf.]

Expect either chaos or absolutely nothing. Some people act as if it never happened or act as if they own you.

[kikit]

Sometimes when we good people lose, we actually win.
Thanks Dr. Ramani ❤

[valex]

You can't force someone to love you and these people dont love they collect for entertainment. And you can't force someone to view you with a loving heart, they will never understand you because they hate you. Freeniemies stay close...you have to break that bond. Don't get mad, dont get even, dont get sad....just back away as calmly as you can. You calmness is your strength.

[cantoon]

I was with a very toxic man for 5 years. I will have to say the breakup was a bit like coming off an awful drug cold turkey. I caught him having an affair with a coworker, he was running around telling everyone he no longer loved me. He did break up with me, but wouldn’t move out of my house. I had to have him evicted, so that brought out every game under the sun and he then blamed me for everything that was going wrong in his life. He did finally move on and for the most part leaves me alone, but they are never really done with you and will find ways to let you know they are still around. It has been 3 1/2 years and I am still healing, but it is also something you can’t unsee. I have also walked away from 3 very toxic friends in the last 2 years, so my healing process must be working because I won’t just let people abuse me anymore.

[deena]

This message on time. I am going through this now. This is the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life.

[abhijitdande]

breakup with a narcissist is like going to the hospital after a poisonous snake fed you the most toxic venom ever, where the survivor has to learn that it`s the poison that is causing the problem, not that there is anything wrong with them -- the recovery and healing is hell, but every bit of it is worth it. Knowledge of narcissism is like venom used to treat the said poison, where survivors are expected to learn about these psychological patterns and leaves a life long impact on their lives.

[emmy]

Block them on everything and DO NOT engage when they reach out. I got fed up and forced mine out after two years of him having control.

[Kevin-mciv]

I got broke up by a narcissist and it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life