How To Talk To Someone With Dementia

Today’s video shares a simple tip to keep in mind whenever you are communicating with your loved one with dementia. It will help you get the person with dementia to be more accepting and agreeable to what you are offering and may even help avoid some of the usual pushback. This approach can be applied to any type of dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy Body dementia, Vascular Dementia, Frontotemporal dementia to name a few.

☀️ THE DEMENTIA DAILY DOSE: Want Bite-sized dementia support, information, and tips delivered to your inbox 365 days a year? Sign up below.

FREE Resource:

CHECK OUT MY POPULAR PLAYLISTS

Dealing with Challenging Behaviors:

________
In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[lydialynne]

My mom became very resistant to taking “medications” and “pills” so we started calling them vitamins. It worked. When she had to finally be placed in a hospital bed at home, we called it an adjustable bed, and that worked as well.

[celticdowser]

My husband had long term Alzheimer's. He had always avoided going to the doctors so when he had a health problem I would say he needed to go for the over 80'S check up to help the annual stats (he had been a civil servant). He never connected that he'd had three that year already. Serious problems I would hand a note in at reception and our wonderful doctor went along with this and asked the relevant questions.

He was very intelligent in spite of memory problems and even family members had no idea how bad things really were. In his last year we'd driven a few hundred miles for a holiday near his remaining family. By the time we arrived he no longer remembered any of us. For Three mornings when I woke him I asked him who I was 'You're the lady who organises things/the lady who looks after everybody' etc. Then one morning 'You're my wife of course'. My reply of relief 'Damn! You've remembered.' Even later after a visiting family lunch where he had recognised only his sister (5 years behind on the same path) people were leaving. He was kissing his nephews wife. I asked him who was this woman he was kissing. 'I have no idea but she is very nice isn't she'. All that time away I was the only person he really recognised. This includes sons and a granddaughter. They did not know. Until he was walking and talking with one son and telling about this same son 'You don't know him but ' Back home he returned to his then normal level.

It was a long heart breaking time - over 20 years. I really don't know which is worse- this long goodbye or short quick traumatic years. Both are devastating. Don't ask the carer 'How is he/she?' They are generally quite happy. You should ask 'How are you?'

[lafintipe]

As an in-home private caregiver for folks with dementia, I have run into a number of people that call Depends products diapers. Using that term carries a negative connotation and is associated with babies in the mind of those with this disease. I encourage the use of other terms such as: briefs, underwear, panties, etc. I’ve also learned not to tell my clients that they have peed or pooped themselves. There have been many times where I’ve taken the blame and said: “oh, I’m sorry, I spilled some water on you, let me help you into some dry pants”. — I’m currently caring for a gentleman who is on a mechanical soft diet. He can’t swallow his medications anymore so I have to grind them and put them in pudding, yogurt, applesauce, etc. He was doing well for a couple months taking his meds this way, but lately he has started refusing them. I’ve stopped telling him that it’s his medicine and now I tell him I have a treat for him. It’s working like a charm.😃

[charlotteoleary]

My dad had severe dementia (we didn't know this at the time) and when he refused to go to local social clubs for the elderly our GP rang him up and said there was a new club starting up and he was looking for really responsible people to go along and keep an eye on it and give him feedback. Of course my dad couldn't get there quick enough, and we got him into several clubs using this technique.

[davettepittman]

My friend’s mother was resistant to moving to an assisted living center. The place was gorgeous. There was even a donkey in a paddock and little walking paths with benches. I told my friend to stop calling it “the center.” Call it the “resort”. After she and her sisters started calling the place “The Resort, ” her mother was very happy to move there.

[fibrowarriors]

Thank you for your videos. My father didn't know who I was when I rang him. It was the first time he didn't know me. I was so upset even though I knew it was coming but when it came it was so hard 😭

[franciebush]

My husband was in the hospital after a fall. At discharge he was to go to an acute rehab for PR and OT. I told him he was going to “ exercise camp”.

[CraftyDawn]

I can identify with this. My husband has F.T. Dementia and has recently been in hospital. He’s home now and have carers coming in. He doesn’t like the idea of carers, so I tell him they are new friends coming in to help. That seems to work so far. - Dawn 🌅

[chinitapr]

My mom is having strong hallucinations and was prescribed an antipsychotic. She rejected an antipsychotic but will take the same prescription when I tell her it helps her memory.

[jenb]

My Dad passed away last week your videos helped me so much.Thank you Natali

[carolbenson]

During past experiences I would always slow down my speech and spoke louder without giving the patient too many choices...just present one thing at a time. Smiling is always a good thing.

[dizzyfingers]

These tips work on children and stubborn husbands, too!! ❤❤❤❤

[susanknupfer]

For some reason my mother accepted Frail care, the South African term, rather than nursing home which is what they use in the UK where she was from. I got her to drink Ensure by making it with milk and adding chocolate Nesquick and calling it chocolate milk!

[mimistans]

My father was very appreciative and thanked us for everything done for him. However, My very gentle brother got very combative and had to be put into a psychiatric hospital till he was no longer able to hurt anyone. That was the most horrible thing we saw. Married with young teenagers, had his own business. Then become a whole different person.

[baconseggs]

Thank you. I’m on my own with this, . And your ideas are encouraging. It’s a heart breaking situation….

[dacgardens]

Loving Lie: I was able to get my mother to give up driving quite easily. My car had reached a point that it wasn't worth putting more money into it. I told mom that I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't afford the transmission repairs, or to spend much on even a used car, a lie. She OFFERED to let me take over hers! Jointly, we agreed to add my name to the title and insurance, and I moved in with her a few months later. I let all family members and friends in on the plan and I sold my old Saturn 2 months later at a friend's house. Added bonus: her insurance went down in price!

[gregzeng]

The favorite head nurse in our local aged care home "dances" (waltz) reluctant residents to the desired location. Bed. Meals. Showers.

Seen on comments on YouTube videos, the staff, family etc need to "costume up" for convincing the reluctant person. Fun or meal, or bed times, etc.

As an old very crippled person, yum yum food times are very motivating for me.

[AshKetchum]

Watching these to help talk to my partner as he’s waking up from being in an induced coma due to liver failure.

He was obsessed with shaved ice’s before he was hospitalized.
When I visited when he first woke up he wanted me to order him some!

He’s on soft foods, and yesterday I helped the nurse to get him to take his medicine that was mixed with applesauce by calling it his “icee” 💕

[marinawitwer]

We refer to adult day care as “The Senior Center”. While Mom was super resistant at first, she made a few friends and now she loves going!

[peteh]

Just had an experience this week when an O/T was trying to give Dad the option of going to a community fitness group, he immediately said "that will be dancing, so no thanks!", we'll have to revisit that one in light of your tips in the video. Many thanks for your great work.