How To Talk To Anyone | small talk, social anxiety, conversation tips!

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❐ ON ME ❏
➥ Sweater Vest: Style Nanda
➥ Pants: Thrifted

❐ BOOK ❏

❐ TIMESTAMPS ❏
0:00 Intro
0:26 Self Confidence vs Self Esteem
1:43 Therapy - Betterhelp
3:03 Small talk
4:16 Questions
6:04 Find a topic that sparks enthusiasm
7:08 Be interested to be interesting
9:22 Dealing with awkward pauses
10:55 No one remembers everything you say, just how they felt

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❐ VIDEO CREDIT ❏

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❐ MUSIC ❏
➥ Epidemic Sound

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FTC: This video is sponsored by BetterHelp! Some of the links above are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if anyone purchases through them. This helps support my channel so I can continue to create videos for ya'll~

[tinagec]

honestly the greatest thing that helped me with my social anxiety was learning to love people and be interested in them instead of seeing them as threats or someone that I need to impress. I used to overthink conversations and be scared of staying one on one with someone but ever since I genuinely took an interest in everyone around me I've been having the best time!

[fyoevsky]

my problem with "saying whatever comes to mind" is the fact that my mind goes completely blank during conversation 😭😭

[GirlsUnited]

My main revelation regarding social anxiety which I learned in therapy was to go into social situations reminding myself that my worth as a person does not depend on someone else’s opinion of me. This is such a freeing thought because it releases you from the pressure to “perform” as you also mentioned. Even if a conversation didn’t go as planned or the person you are interacting with does not seem so interested or even bored, that doesn’t change your value as a person. No one is gonna go through life having amazing interactions 100% of the time, so allow yourself to talk freely and how you intuitively feel comfortable and if the other person doesn’t vibe with that, move on to someone else. At the end of the day, you are still worthy and loved ❤️

[lidiyaz.]

my favorite go-to question is to ask someone “what are you thinking about right now?” it’s a great open ended question that helps the other person realize that you are interested in hearing what is literally on their mind. another tip is that i truly believe that all people have at least 2 topics they cannot shut up about. so i always make it my mission to discover what one of those two topics are. this really helps me keep the convo going!

[the_world_will_know]

The fact that I’m watching so many videos to get the courage to talk to 1 singular person 😭

[toontales]

Guys. I DID IT. It took years of work but I did it. I no longer feel anxious every time I have to be alone in a room with someone. I can hold a conversation with almost anyone. I even have a gf now and I’ve never been so happy

Update: she cheated on me 🙃

Update again: I’m pushing thru this hard time and I’m gonna come out of this a bigger person 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

UPDATE AGAIN: i Met another girl. Her name is Kira. She’s gorgeous and she makes me really nervous. I kinda like the feeling tho because im not used to feeling nervous around ppl anymore but there’s something abt her that makes me so fucking anxious. Dw tho she’ll be my gf by the start of this summer 💪🏻💪🏻.

[olabmar]

While I plan to put into practice and embrace every point in this video, I would also like to add that you don’t have to have anything in common with someone to socialize comfortably with them. You could focus on differences rather than scouring for shared commonalities. Being interested in how someone is different from you also adds many layers to conversations. It helps you learn about something you never knew of or never experienced and helps you get first hand account of new experiences. Isn’t that beautiful? So don’t be afraid to interact with people whom you perceive as different form you. There is always a new world to be discovered.

[louie]

I have both social anxiety and autism, so talking to anyone is an uphill battle. I decided today that I'm sick of being awkward and lonely: I'm going to get better at talking to people even if it kills me. Thank you so much for the video <3

[minpin]

Ice breaker: “If you were to be thrown in jail, what would your closest friends or family assume you did?”
I ask this question when I can feel that the vibe is right - light, funny, overall relaxed maybe. I picked this up from one of my sisters, one of the most outgoing people I’ve ever known, and honestly it works every time

[rachfayee]

Small Talk is important to help people warm up and assess compatibility:

1. Ask Questions,
2. Determine topics that spark enthusiasm,
3. Actively listen to the conversation - How to win friends and influence people x Dale Carnegie,
4. Be honest and sincere about emotions and feelings.

[sethlee]

Thanks for sharing，i learned a lot:
1. have a small talk
2. ask questions （tips：find sth in common ）
3. find a topic that sparks enthusiasms
4. be intersted to be intesting
5. deal with awkward pauses with share your feelings sincerely or talk about enviroment
6. no one remember what you said, they just remember how they feel（energy、vibe、tone）

[rainbowfulable]

This came at the right moment.. right when I was feeling horrible about my social anxiety. Thank you so much Jenn!! 💓💓💓

[kandaceboo]

I liked the segment about “being interested is interesting” because active listening is SO important to making people feel validated! I am currently dealing with someone (a family member) in my life who is a narcissist and all of our interactions are her taking advantage of the fact that I love listening to people and making them feel heard. 100% of the convo is her monologuing about herself, me asking her follow-up questions/relating it back to my life, but her never reciprocating asking me follow-up questions - she just continues to talk about herself. Currently we are both pregnant and the opportunities to converse/relate to each other are endless but she just doesn’t care. Id love to see a future video on tips for dealing with people like that, or at least how to handle one-sided conversations.

[jvdepalace]

Usually such a silent watcher but this topic is so so underrated and I'm ALL for this series. Please do more if you can Jenn! I love hearing you break things down and make it so easy to listen to and still seamlessly making so much sense.

[muhweese]

I’m a flight attendant, so I meet new people all the time and have had my fair share of small talk! I love asking my coworkers what they did before flying when we’re cheek to cheek in the jump seat 😂 Then I’ll ask them what made the switch into the aviation industry! And just in general, I like asking people what they do, how they got into it, if they like what they do, what their job title entails, and so on!

[shinyeee]

A moment of appreciation for that intro. This came at the right time. With this pandemic, my social anxiety has skyrocketed. Can barely look at people in the eyes without being conscious of it. Have not talked face to face with any friends in over a year😭

[DinaZaghloul-tcbc]

Honestly I feel like you're the type of person I'd be so comfortable talking to

[savanabanana]

I think this would be a great series, especially since you studied communication! I am extremely introverted and dislike making plans to see anyone, but I'll have a great time and won't want to leave if it's with the few people I'm close to or having a great time with. My problem is that I constantly blank out and don't know how to keep a conversation going because I don't have that internal rolodex of topics to switch to when the current topic dies and it's time to change the subject. I can easily bat back with people who do this well, but it's agonizing and exhausting when I'm talking to another person who shares the same struggles, and it feels like the life is being absolutely squeezed out of the conversation lmao.

Something I'm struggling with right now is making small talk with coworkers twice my age at a new job in a line of work I've never been in before. I feel like the age and formality differences (because I'm in a semi-corporate part of the hotel industry) weigh on my mind extra heavily, so I'm never comfortable speaking up except to ask questions relating to my training. I tend to gauge my responses based on what I can tell from the other person, and so many of them have the professional fake awkward smile of cordiality that feels so unapproachable, and I have no idea how to move past that.. especially when it feels like everyone here is so busy, so there's not much time for actual conversation :/ Part of me worries I'm trying too hard, but the other more realistic part of me knows very well that I won't make any friends in the office if I don't try to talk to anyone and just keep my head down in my training/work, so I'm trying to figure out how to strike that balance.

[FeminineAroma]

I actually felt embarrassed at the fact that I even had to search a video on how to socialize. I’m an introvert that has a newly found love with having conversations with people, but I just dread starting them. And because of lockdown and now not having any friends, starting and/or having and keeping a conversation has become one of the hardest things to learn (or relearn). This video was very helpful though. ❤

[Jessicaca]

Would highly recommend the book ‘How to be yourself’ by Ellen Hendriksen. She’s done a few podcasts too on the topic of social anxiety and introversion which are really good! I’ve searched for a while to find an author who seems to really understand it and she definitely does!